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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My boyfriend told me I'm insecure
Rebecca.
Lacey
My BF recently told me after a small argument that he feels like I’m “insecure about us” and I’m not as confident as i used to be when we first met.
I was just wondering how i could fix and improve this or if anyone had anyone advice about this situation. Im glad he told me this because now i want to fix this and improve my life and relationship.
Thank you all!
Allie
how exactly are you insecure and what was the argument regarding?
Is there something he’s doing that makes you insecure?
Did this just come out of no where or has it been going on for a while?
Lacey
Our argument was over me being a bit “clingy” and kind of constantly seeking reassurance. He just felt a little smothered and told me he felt like that came from my insecurity.
Lacey
It was our first major argument though.
Mel
Ok so clingy? Have you been going out long? Like I said has been doing strange things to make you insecure? If your asking to spend time with him and he’s not doing that enough then I’d feel insecure too. I’d wonder whats he doing that he can’t be with me? But that’s just me. Was it a sudden feeling of insecurity or slow?
Lacey
We have been going out a while and i had an argument with him because i was jealous over something stupid. i regret starting the argument because it was unnecessary but i can’t un-do it now.
hannah
I think you need to take a step back. Where do these insecurities come from? Is it something he’s doing or is it you?
redcurleysue
Insecurity happens when we think we are losing something.
Confidence, on the other hand, happens when we are unafraid.
To see this you have to step way back and look at your interactions with this person. Viewed from a distance are you saying over and over to him in various ways, “I need you to say and do certain things so I am ok.” This is fear driven.
What you need to constantly show is with him or without him you are more than ok. It would be great if he were in your life but you believe deep in your heart that if he is the right one for you then you cannot lose him. If he does get lost then it was not meant to be. And that is ok….maybe not optimal but ok too. Your life does not depend on him…it depends on you.
Rebecca
I too have been told this by my boyfriend recently and we live together! I do know that its not all one sided and he definitely isnt helping the situation.
I have my own hobbies, my own friends etc but i do see my state of mind i.e being insecure is becoming a problem which is something I need to sort on my own, thanks for the advice redcurleysue x
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