My Co-worker crush got touchy feely while drunk… What to make of it??


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals My Co-worker crush got touchy feely while drunk… What to make of it??

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #448938 Reply
    ALyon0726

    I’ve been crushing on a temp employee at my office, but I have never dated or had and romactic relations with a co worker before. My workplace is a very chill environment, very creative, friendly and at times very inappropriate *lol* (but we all can take a joke). So there is a temp here who I’ve had my eye on, but even with our very relaxed work environment he hasn’t really made a full on move (probable because he is a temp and fairly new).

    I did notice though at meetings he will usually sit next to me, and he lingers in the break room if I’m in there as well although he’s pretty quiet and doesn’t initiate much conversation other than a passing “hey what’s up” or “how’s your day going?”. I didn’t start entertaining the thought of him possibly liking me until one office happy hour event he asked what I was drinking, so I offered him my cup (opposite side of where I put my mouth on) and he turned it around and took a sip right on the place I was drinking. My only thought at the time was hmmm…ok. but as the night got later I was the first to annouce to leaveand before I knew it he had grabbed his belongings and was taking off too. So THEN my thought was “ooook, coincidence we are leaving alone together??”

    At out last office happy hour we all we’re getting tipsy, and as the night progressed it went from him standing very close to me (brushing arms) to putting his arm around me, to drunk dancing on me and finally again I decided to take off and leave, I was going to say by to him but noticed he was on the patio talking on the phone. I had my stuff with me so I just turned and proceeded to leave without interrupting him, and as I was saying bye to a few other co workers, I saw him rush past me to go get his stuff. Right before I made it out of the crowd he came up behind me and put his arms around me and asked if I was taking off and I said yes and then he gave me a HUGE long kiss on the cheek. Definitely not just a peck, like he PLANTED one on me! Then he said “come on let’s go…” Lol if only some of my co workers did happen to be in the elevator at that time I probably would have capitolized on his being wasted and got a real kiss from him. *hehehe*

    So I’m sure come Monday everyone will be back to normal and act like nothing happens (probably because they wouldn’t have remembered), but IDK what to do about my crush. Should I act like nothing happened or should I start flirting with Jim? Or just play it cool and tease him about it a little bit so he knows it’s ok? Help!

    #448954 Reply
    Lane

    Hi Al,

    The best thing to do is to stop drinking so much and get to know him as a person. All this drinking is interfering with your ability to properly assess the situation. Being that he’s new and your basically someone he feels comfortable with and trying to decipher between the subjective (your interpretation) v. objective (his true feelings) when you don’t have zero facts to work with will drive you insane…like it is now.

    Oftentimes we project what we want onto the object of our desire (one we’re crushing on) so it gives us some HOPE he might like you the same way, but in the end “hope” is a horrible thing to cling onto as it keeps you in a perpetual cycle of confusion because its not based on reality, but a tiny shred of a possibility that may never materialize—like those _hoping_ to win the lottery.

    I would try to get to know him better by sussing out some personal info. like his current goals, family, hobbies and then dating life. Men are not sneaky or cunning—they are simple and clear cut…when they really want something (or someone) they will go after it.

    #448956 Reply
    LL

    Ok I don’t see where anybody is “drinking so much” and I don’t see this as a problem surrounding “all this drinking”. I simply just don’t understand why you are posting I guess. The thing is, you’re a woman. So the downside is that you have to suffer thru childbirth and pay for makeup….the upside is that in this stage of dealing with men you never have to do anything except RECEIVE and RECIPROCATE.

    If he’s really into you, he will make it known. since he’s your crush then at that point you should receive and reciprocate.

    If he doesn’t make it known (read: obvious, with no confusion and no mixed signals) then he’s not that into you.

    #448966 Reply
    ALyon0726

    Thank Lane but “drinking so much” isn’t the problem because I don’t drink really, nor was I drunk at either of these events. My question really was what to make of the situation but I’ll go with LLs advice to just receive and reciprocate. I am really bad at taking “hints” as a guy friend told me that he used to be really into me in the past and all his hugging me and giving me kisses on the cheek was his way of trying to warm me up to ask me out. But I never saw it that way so I never flirted back. At one point I thought that he liked me but I figured he would have just asked me out but that never happened because he thought I wasn’t into him. Lol

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
Reply To: My Co-worker crush got touchy feely while drunk… What to make of it??
Your information:





<blockquote> <code> <pre> <em> <strong> <ul> <ol start=""> <li>