Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My coworker keeps making age jokes and i thought we were friends
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 4 years, 9 months ago by
redcurleysue.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Heather
Im 23 and my coworker just turned 40. For the last month he keeps saying things like “your young ***” and ”I’m old” or he calls me “youngster” and today he said “ i guess you didn’t miss my old *** yesterday you didn’t sit with me on break”
Or he will say “you don’t even pay attention to my old Ass”“You’re a youngster”
Etc . It’s getting annoying now
Newbie
Yes its annoying even when i dont know what the *** stands for. Clearly he feels old. You can either ignore it, or call him an old fart yourself or my favourite game: try to make him say he is old and chuckle inside. For instance i had a sort of boss who had to commute 3 hours one way and i met hom at the train station and he said that over and over. So i said things to him like, oh ill be home in 1 1/2 hour knowing he would reply with his 3 hour commute and i did this every day. Just to have some fun with an utterly boring guy.
But you should pick ignore lolTallspicy
I would sit him down and tell him it bothers you. I used to do this (not so much), but older People are afraid of their own age and unfortunately they do not realize that it can be considered a problem or offensive. I’m sure if you bring it up to him kindly and in a private forum and just tell him that it bothers you, he will realize that he shouldn’t do it.
Tallspicy
Don’t passively aggressively ignore him. You are an adult, act like one. And since it is at work, show him you can lead and be respected as well.
Raven
You thought you were friends- or more than friends …?
Lane
He’s old enough to be YOUR DAD and is telling you that. He’s much older than you and is using the appropriate words, such as “youngster” to tell you than your a youngster because you are! Heck, you younger than my two son at ages 27 & 29, so you fit within the “kiddo” category that I still use on them because they are my kids.
He probably has a child your close to your age and uses it on them too, so don’t take it negatively, its appropriate for someone his age to use to use it someone your age.
Tallspicy
It is not appropriate for him to call her that if it bothers her. I doubt it is malicious as I said, but in today’s world, when we know better we no longer call people things that bother them. Especially in a work setting!!!
She is not wrong to be bothered by it, she just needs to understand why it happens and ask kindly to be spoken to differently.
Liz Lemon
To me the tone of what he’s saying sounds like very inappropriate, awkward flirting. I think he has a crush on the OP. Complaining that she doesn’t pay attention to him because of his age? Complaining that she didn’t sit with him on break? Referring to her “young ***” (I’m assuming he’s saying young a$$). Whoa. Totally not appropriate in the workplace!
The vulgar language is inappropriate. The comments on her age are not appropriate (imagine if he was commenting on her race, or her gender– the same principle applies from an HR standpoint– you can’t call out someone for their age, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc). The odd complaints about not having her attention are definitely loaded. What middle aged man whines that a 23 year old won’t go on break with him or pay him attention, unless he has a crush on her?
Heather
Don’t think he likes me but lately it’s hard to have a conversation without him throwing his age in the mix
Tallspicy
Heather, then act like an adult and have a conversation about it. He might get defensive to start, but it will sink in. Or report him to hr, but that is cowardly. Maybe have hr remind people that age talk, even joking is a bad idea
Liz Lemon
I’m not saying report him to HR, btw. But he should be aware that it’s the kind of talk that COULD get him reported to HR. If he does it to another young woman, for example, and she gets offended. Or, if someone else overhears him talking to her this way and feels it’s offensive, that person could report him! He’s a grown man and should know better.
OP, are you not comfortable talking to him about it? Does he intimidate you? I don’t understand why you don’t just address it with him and ask him to stop.
redcurleysue
I would avoid him as much as possible – if you do need to interact just change the subject to the weather or something neutral.
-
AuthorPosts
