My dating life is a mess

I’m 30 and I really suck at dating . My last two ‘dates’ were with not good . The first date I asked for as he added me on social media when I left the work place ( we were collegues and had flirted in the past )He took me to a really nice expensive place BUT did not make much effort after and just said he would like to take it slow etc . In the end we just never talked and he is looking for a girl online dating . I look and realise the interest was never there .

The second one took me out and paid . We just spoke as friends after that . He invited me out again with two other friends and kept saying about how people who look like me are not attractive . When I called him out , he said he never saw me as anything but a friend, even though I am a lovely person .

Prior to these guys I have had two guys who just wanted friend s with benefits after dating ( a few dates)I declined this as I want more .

It seems men only see me as a friend and I get confused . In the past I have had a few relationships with objectively attractive men . But in the past few years I am just meeting men who don’t like me / have chemistry etc. I feel embarrassed by my desperate behaviour and I’m wondering if anyone will find me attractive .

Any advice on how to move on from my embarrassing experiences ?