Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My Ex-Boyfriend Come Back
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 2 years, 6 months ago by
Mary.
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Sarah
After 2 months of a frustrating breakup with my EX, I met a new guy who wants to be serious and marry me. Because I want to heal myself from my EX. Unfortunately, he has serious financial and anger problems. I’m so unhappy with this toxic relationship. This made me want to end the relationship with this new guy.
In a midst of trying to end this relationship, my ex-boyfriend comes back to me again after ghosted 5months. He felt disappointed with me when he knows I have a new boyfriend in a short month’s breakup.
We agree to get back together and I’m happy when we decide to get back together because no one can replace him in my life. However, sometimes he felt betrayed by me. Because he thinks I am so fast to find the replacement and wants to take revenge by having a one-night stand with other girls.
Then he will marry me. I’m so sad and frustrated now when he keeps mentioning all these things. I don’t want I can do to make him happy and move forward with this relationship. What should I do?
Raven
Let me understand…
– This guy GHOSTED you, first guy.
– You found another guy, second guy.
– Second guy treated you poorly, so you broke up.
– First guy wants to come back.
– First guy feels betrayed, After he GHOSTED you.
– First guy wants to know why you got into another relationship so quickly, after HE GHOSTED you.
– First guy wants revenge on you by sleeping with other girls, after HE GHOSTED you.You & first guy were broke up & he has no say in what happened while you two were apart. What do you think he was doing while you two were apart- surely not singing in the church choir…
First guy is an @ss. Dump him!
Sarah
Yes, the first guy felt betrayed after he ghosted me for 5 months. He feel so sad and was thinking to get revenge or do the same things to me too. At least once.
I feel so sad how can he ever think about it. We’ve been apart.
How can I dump him if I can’t even be apart from him again?
Raven
What do you mean by this? ‘How can I dump him if I can’t even be apart from him again?’
Rubi
Sarah you’re in a fantasy land my darling. Your ex is mistreating you, and doing you so dirty in such an ugly way. He left you without any explanation, didn’t contact you for 5 months and left you to wonder. He came back in your life feeling entitled to sleeping with someone else too just because you moved on?
What about the 5 months he was gone? He slept with whoever he wanted. If he said he didn’t it’s a whole lie. He had no respect for you then and he has none now.
Do not accept another relationship with this man. He is very manipulative. He can’t come and go in your life as he pleases and then has the audacity to guilt you into moving on. It’s a load of crap! What the hell does he mean you moved on so fast? If somebody ghosts you for 5 months HE chose to lose you in the most coward way. Were you supposed to be waiting for him? Honestly this has me all worked up!! I can’t believe the things people are allowing to go on in their lives. He doesn’t love you okay. He’s back because whatever reason he left did not work out for him. He is crawling back to you because he knows you will entertain it. Stop it now. Love yourself more than (you think) you love him.
Maddie
Your ex who came back is a giant waving red flag. He sees you as an adversary, not a partner or teammate. He likes feeling like he can control other people, especially you. Plus he ghosted you then blamed you for a situation that HE caused, which means he cannot manage his own emotions in a healthy way at all! Just because he’s not as obviously abusive as the second guy who had anger management problems, if you compare the two, doesn’t mean he’s a good option for a relationship.
You cannot make him happy because he’s an unhappy and selfish person.
And you’re not unhappy and clinging to the ex because of love, it’s because you get treated terribly by the immature guys you’re choosing and it feeds into you not feeling good about yourself. Trying to make him “happy” will keep costing you more and more of yourself. People can only make themselves happy. So choose to do right by yourself! Block both these people, sit with your sadness and mourn the relationships, and try doing things on your own to build yourself up. Seek a therapist if it sounds too hard to put yourself first.
But whatever you choose to do, I know you love him, but do NOT marry someone who is willing to be so vengeful against you, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong. He shows you so much contempt. How scary! You can’t expect a manipulative person like that to help support you in good times and bad. You deserve so much better than this disrespect from a guy who is trying to get you to agree to him cheating on you, opening the door for him to keep doing whatever he wants in the future.
Lane
You keep jumping from one toxic relationship to another. I don’t know what it is about you that doesn’t believe you deserve to be with a good man but if you don’t figure out why you keep attracting these kind of men then you will never find a good relationship.
Drop Mr. I WILL Ghost You Again and take a break from dating/relationships for awhile. Your ‘guydar’ is broken and need to get your guy picker fixed, which begins with fixing YOU first or you will keep attracting crappy guys. Wash, rinse, repeat….need to get out this cycle.
tammy
dump them both!
Mary
The main person to listen to on the Anewmode forum (besides coaches) is Raven. She will steer you right.
Mary
Great advice in this thread. The guy is manipulative and you really need to make a promise to yourself to be alone for 2 years to become self aware.
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