My ex broke up with me because he was unhappy. How can I win him back?

I am also sorry that this man really thought about this and said, “no”.

Have the respect for him that no is no.

Grieve the loss, let go, and then move on.

I am so sorry.

First off, I want to say my ex and I had a wonderful relationship. We were best friends. We planned on being together ‘forever.’ We had fights, just like any other couple. We would discuss our problems and work through them. Recently, our communication was poorly. We started fighting more and more. Out of nowhere, my ex told me he felt like our relationship wasn’t going to work anymore. He told me he was unhappy for awhile. I never knew that because he didn’t tell me. He wasn’t distant either. He blamed me. I wasn’t the best girlfriend, I admit. My attitude wasn’t good at all. That’s why we fought. Now I realize how I acted and I have apologized to him, but he isn’t having it. During the break up, he said “I need a break. I need to focus on myself. Whenever you want to change, let me know.” I told him that I completely understand. I would change my attitude and work on things. He wasn’t having it. I was devastated and immediately told him I would change because I didn’t want to lose the person I loved dearly. I told him everything. I told him I couldn’t imagine losing him, basically begging for him not to leave. He still wasn’t having it. Currently, I’m giving him space. I haven’t messaged him, even though I’m dying to. Im just so upset and shocked. We loved each other. He broke up with me 5 days before Christmas! I never thought he would leave me over something that can be fixed. We always fixed things until now. Im just praying he would message me and apologize for leaving me.
I hope that’s enough information. Thank you in advance.

Ann, you were his FIRST woman. A man these days will never settle for one woman. To them it means a great deal to be with multiple women before marriage. These days especially, with all the hookups everywhere, they will feel like half men if they didn’t have at least several women before marriage. They are brainwashed to measure their worth in these terms.

The truth is that you can meet the first woman and it can be your best one. But you’d discover it only having tried many others.

Your BF is not going to be with you in the same way as you guys started out. He wants to be “friends” which means you’d end up his FWB. While he was looking for a new romance.

You need to face the situation, he is not going to stay with you, you are his first woman, let him go. Do not waste your time.

If you can’t give up, at least understand that if you keep contacting him he will not have a chance to miss you. his ego will be sky high, he’d be happy you chase him and this will give him a boost to chase new women. The only way he’d miss you if you disappear from his life completely, do not give him a piece of you in any shape or form, not even social media. He must not have any chance to satiate his longing for you. And he will have those loingings, he is human. So if you want him to miss you, you must stay away.

I am saying all this, knowing 100% you will not. At least this is a throw away case, so if you want to learn all your lessons with his guy, then maybe it is not a bad thing. LOL

I looked a lot into these kinds of situation for the past few days. One of which works for many people is the “30 days no-contact rule”. Basically, don’t contact him, stalk him, or whatever involve him for a month. It may be hard, but as weeks go by, you will have time to heal yourself, and he will heal too. Just enjoy life with friends and distract yourself by going to the mall, movie, play a sport, or whatever activity you see fit.

He may start thinking what you’re up to, and why you haven’t contacted him. In this sense, it is possible that he will miss you. If he doesn’t text you back after 30 days or more, then text him. Say something that he likes. For example, let’s say that he likes Starbucks. Text him something like: “I was at Starbuck the other day and it reminds me of you”. He’ll realize that you’re thinking of you.

I think one thing that pulled him away is your negative actions: fighting. Boys preferred women to be positive, and they’re more likely to be attracted to those woman. Now, I’m not saying your attitude is ad, but to get him back, remember what makes him like you in the first place? What were your attitude back then? Why was he attracted to you in the first place? See your mistake so that you can stop things from happening again. But… it may not be you, maybe it’s him.

Good luck!