Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › my ex is driving me crazy
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by
tammy.
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emma
So I broke up with my ex several weeks ago, and it was very messy because we were supposed to be together the rest of our lives but it wasn’t healthy and i realized he was not respecting me. Well, ever since we broke up he hasn’t spoken to me but I think he’s taunting me through social media. I wasn’t sure of it until today. First off, he used to NEVER post on social media. The entire time we were together he posted once on instagram and only a couple of times on snapchat. That was his excuse for never posting me, he said he just didn’t like posting on social media. He has now become super active on social media, posting on instagram and on insta stories, and constantly posting on snapchat. Well, I had posted an insta story about cute things you can do for self care to love yourself because I like to spread messages of self love. After my ex saw this, I guess he assumed it was about our breakup because he then posted an insta story about dating and loving in private and living your life in private (which we argued about a lot bc he didnt tell a single soul we were dating bc “he liked being private”), and then yesterday he posted a picture of himself all dressed up, which he has never done in the 4 years ive known him. Today was when I knew for a fact he was taking a stab at me. He posted that he had just discovered a band, Lovejoy, this morning, and really liked them. I have been telling him about that band for MONTHS because their EP was coming out and I played a clip of one of the featured songs to him. I constantly post about them bc I love them. Am I actually going crazy? I feel like he’s trying to upset me since he’s not actually talking to me anymore. And I’m not doing anything to provoke him. I literally dread going on social media because whenever I least expect it, it’s like he’s taunting me.
emma
OH AND ALSO he has been requesting to follow my best friend on insta ever since I broke up with him, and she keeps denying it, and hell request again. He doesnt even like her, he called her a whore and I had to defend her. Like that has to be a taunt, right?
Liz Lemon
Block him on all your social media platforms. Problem solved.
Maddie
Do you need to be checking his social media? I usually don’t disconnect totally from exes on social media (though I do if it is that messy), but I do always hide them and not check their posts for a long while after a breakup. It’s much easier, good peace of mind. I’d say that if he didn’t respect you during the relationship, he certainly won’t respect you after as he’s no longer even trying to be on good behavior! So if you keep checking his social media, you’ll get more of the same or WORSE if he starts dating again and actually posting about it. You have nothing at all to gain by looking except speculation and stress, and he gets a rise out of you if he actually is intentionally targeting you. If you hide or block him, you win because he’s not driving you crazy and you’re not giving him any response to his potentially passive-aggressive nonsense.
Newbie
If you look at his actions, dont they look very juvenile to you? Who cares that he is now posting about the band you told him about. Two things are more important: you are keeping social tabs on him and thats not healthy for you as you are looking for signs he is missing you and acting out.
Secondly, if he kept you a secret its for sure very very very good you quit it. Be proud about that and deleting all his social media accounts. It will drive you nutsErin
Girl let me tell you ,it’s called ‘,’ winning the breakup’, this was popular when I was in college. After breakups, social media became a minefield of soap operas with exes taking digs at each other or one of them taking the pis*
For girls, their social media would be full of, thirst traps and new me photos, which included a new hairstyle, cutting their hair, losing weight, bikini pics or pics with a mysterious hot guy. Accompanied by quotes like ‘Stay away from toxic people, being single is better..’ or they became spiritual and wellness gurus, firing ‘subtle’ shots.
I wholly confess to doing some of the above and being on the receiving end of it 😂😂😂.
With guys, it includes going for hiking or some outdoor activity with friends, partying and sometimes pics with a bunch of girls around, showing off something they did, watched or saw, looking good or getting a new girl, they can’t stop posting about etc..
Your ex is trying to win the breakup, the person who wins the breakup is the one who is least affected and doesn’t care, but the truth is, it’s a ruse. Your ex was hurt by the breakup, doesn’t matter who did what or said what, he is hurt but he is trying to act cool about it.
My advice to people is stay away from social media after breakups, it’s ugly and brings the worst out of people.
You can choose to Unfollow or block your ex for your peace of mind or if you have enough restraint, just Mute him so you don’t see his content and don’t peek on his page or stalk him.
Newbie
Hahaha erin, youre so right. The cute selflove also falls on this category
Raven
Block him & move forward…
Erin
@Newbie hahaha yes cute self love is definitely a running theme in ‘winning the breakup’ on social media
Lesley
Either he/she is still in love or you have a debt to pay, other than these two options you could need to secure yourself. Such exes could be dangerous
tammy
block/unfollow and move on.
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