Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › My ex is still contacting me but has a girlfriend.
- This topic has 35 replies and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by
Yusrah.
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Nat
You poor sweetheart. It must hurt like hell. Men can be such swines, so selfish. Make a prison break and set yourself free. Sit down and plan out your escape and then block, delete him from everywhere. And start dating around. Go on dates and flirt with men, go to the gym and smile shamelessly at every guy who checks you out. Do whatever you can to distract yourself.
2 months is a very short time, of course you are hurting and still missing him. But if he had cheated and abused you emotionally and physically you know you are better off without him right?
Gina
Any advise for me should he contact me again?
He doesn’t know that I know he took her to Costa Rica, etc and I feel like telling him I’m devasted and that he hasn’t been honest with me about his feelings for me (which I realize now he lied) so he knows I am on to him and can no longer be taken as for a fool.Cari
Hey Gina,
Honey I’ve dealt with this situation before but it was WAY more dramatic than yours. I can’t remember who put this but they are right in their reply to your situation, your ex is basically placing you as the “back burner” chick. We all know he’ll be back to try and get in to your good graces but don’t wait around for that to happen, just take the steps in moving on and moving forward. Find ways to distract yourself and if he does come back, you tell him to not contact you again, or just do not respond to him. He’s put you through enough mess, right? Please know that no matter what, you WILL be fine.
My ex did this same mess with me, had a girlfriend that he never admitted to, she was living with him while he was seeing me at the same time ( trying to have his cake and it too syndrome) telling me he’ll always be in love with me no matter what, missing me, blaming ME for the reasons we were over, all the while ( unbeknownst to ME) he had a live in girlfriend, been around his family and kids. When I found out about her, I confronted him and told him we needed to be done. He said over and over that he couldn’t let me go but I told him he had to. I asked him if he loved her ( which he is in ways he does love her lol) he would move on as I said that thats what I was going to do. He THEN had the nerve to tell me “it’s not what you think it is”. I find out later from the girlfriend ( yes major drama) that she felt like he was with her for financial stability… I don’t know but he’s with her for a reason and it’s not for me to investigate.
Hannah
Gina I had an ex it took every ounce of my willpower to leave. The only way I managed it was to burn my bridges. I couldn’t resist him so I knew I had to get him stop contacting me. In my case, I sent about 20 crazy texts one after the other, told him I had sex with someone and told him never to contact me again. (Bizarrely that didn’t put him off when I saw him in person but it did stop him contacting me).
I’d do something similar. Get really angry. Think of how he’s treated you. Then I would send him a text saying something along the lines of..”you utter b*stard. I know you’re in Costa Rica with your gf. Never contact me again unless you want her, all your friends, family and work colleagues to know exactly what type of person you are. I have evidence in texts etc so I will be believed”.
I doubt you’ll hear from him after that and then you’ll be free.
Nat
It is a good idea to burn your bridges, I agree. Threats are the only way because emotional outbursts won’t do the trick, they will only pamper his ego more, seeing how upset you are, but threats are different, he is unlikely to risk the outcomes. I think you do need to do what Hannah suggested. Good luck!
Charlotte
I’m in the exact same situation. My ex broke up with me fout months ago after I hadn’t heared from him for one and a half weeks. We had a long distance relationship and he said it was ‘too frustrating’ for him. After a month I had an opportunity to move to his country and told him that. He said you know I love you and How I feel about you, but I have to think about it.. after a week I still had no answer and I was done waiting. He ignored me the entire day and then when I said I was out because I waited long enough he laughed at me and said my grand gesture was all in my head. I though who the €&@€ was I in a relationship with all this time? Who is this jerk? Two months later he send me flowers and chocolate saying he missed me and his feelings wont go away and that he’ll never get over me. I hadnt looked at his social media for two months and when I did I saw he had a girlfriend. I told him to get a shrink and never to contact me again. I’m so confused about who he really is now. At least he did confess he knows he is messed up. It’s hard to accept but I’m glad I’m out knowing who he really is.
Anon
Start your own thread Charlotte. Op from 2016
Yusrah
Hi am living a difficult situation..my ex boyfriend stil being with me posted he is in a relationship with someone else.i was devasted and thought its not true…we have been in relationship for 8years..now he is marrying someone of his religion..the real problem is that we text everyday and come and meet me afterwork..we discuss all problems.and he hve sex too even he is ready to marry the other girl..my heart tells me he loves me..but my mind tells me he is playing with me.whenever he is with her he informs me and as soon as he left her he text me back..i love him like hell and my love is a problem.Help me
Raven
Does his fiancé know he’s sleeping with you?
This is an arranged marriage?
If you accept this situation, this is how the rest of your life will be…Surely there are more guys out there…
Hannah
It sounds like he wants to get married and have you on the side. It really depends on if you want to be his mistress, while watching him live with his wife, have kids with Her, etc.
I’d question how much he loves you. Someone that really loves you would never put you in such a degrading and upsetting position.
Yusrah
Hi,
Thanks for answering…we have tried to distanced ourself from each other by hurting each other .i went out with other guys and he told me he love his new gf and will marry her..we were hurt stil we kept in touch..after a few weeks we were as before..now that we know he will get married by next year..we are spending more time together than when we were together..we take care of each other more..we both know that our time is limited..we go to places we had been at start of our relationship..we talk abt our past good moments. It feels as if we are both in love but i know its cannot be true..still am cherising these last moments with my ex..i love him so much..i told him once he gets married he dont text me nor call me anymore..he asked not even to ask how you are..i said..He did not say anything n quietly bend his head while holding my hand n walking on the beach…i need your advice -
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