Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My friend was assaulted
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by
Lane.
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Concerned friend
I am from a country where homosexuality is illegal & criminal activity. I have a bisexual female friend who was hanging out with a female ex-lover in her house. Two guys, the watchman and the caretaker of the apartment, came up to her house and severely assaulted the two young girls. My friend was beaten, thrown down the stairs, and choked. Her things were destroyed. Right now she is safe. But she has been told to leave the apartment. I have also been told to leave the apartment because I called the police, even though nobody was arrested. The building caretaker has said that no lesbian will be allowed to rent a room. The building owner is not around but he usually knows that my friend is bisexual, so he may allow us to stay in the place.
Even if we are in a country where being remotely associated with a gay person could lead you to be beaten up, it is the first time she has been a victim of such assault. I’m wondering what to tell her. How to help her. Just your general thoughts.
Probably some of you are in a country where being gay is not a problem. But I’m telling you in my country…people will be disgusted by your sight. Men of God will curse out demons in you. And ruthless men will beat you up to death.
Raven
How did the assailants know the ladies targeted were lesbians or Bi?
Concerned friend
The assailants are usually around the apartment. They are the watchman and the caretaker. So they see my friend walking in and out with a female counterpart. Actually, it’s a matter of assumption because he has no evidence of that. It’s just the assumption that if you only bring a female company in your house regularly, you could be a lesbian.
Lane
The only answer you can give her is to not bring ‘female friends’ to her apartment if she doesn’t want to be assaulted again, or move to a place that doesn’t have watchman.
Although some are still assaulted or killed here in the US for being different than the majority (white, Christian, judgmental people), we no longer have the issue here in the US but it took over a couple centuries of social change through grass roots civil movements to finally change our laws protecting all classes of citizens. We are currently going through another with how our Police force uses ‘unnecessary force’ and that’s how the flame of change is triggered.
Doing nothing will change nothing, so if she is unwilling to do nothing then she needs to be more careful, however, if she, and other like her want ‘change’ they will have to fight, and yes, probably get hurt or die, for the cause. It took over 100 years before women could finally could vote here in the US. It was because our women said “no more,” didn’t back down, fought the fight, and eventually one the victory :o)
Its how so many of our citizens were able to attain their ‘freedom’ because freedom isn’t free—you have to keep fighting the government, and society, to not only attain it but to keep it!
Liz Lemon
I’m sorry this happened to your friend. However the people here are not counselors or legal experts. I don’t know what country you’re in, but many countries have LGBTQ support groups, even in countries where homosexuality is illegal. I would strongly suggest looking into resources such as that. You could look for such a group online. They will have the best advice for your particular culture and country. And an organization for LGBTQ people will have the best advice and support for your friend.
Liz Lemon
(By that I mean, a local organization can give you specific advice on legal or safety options where you live)
Newbie
And how is this a dating issue? Cant you find other websites to troll on?
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