Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My husband's buddy asked me to send naked pictures
- This topic has 56 replies and was last updated 8 years, 3 months ago by
JKL.
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Tallspicy
Omg, accepting snap chat is not the same thing as a flirtation. Please take your rediculous ” men and women can’t be friends ” beliefs and pearl clutching elsewhere. People who say that are controlling.
Sweetie. Just calm down. He tried, you told him to shove it, it’s done. If he mentions it again, simply state if it happens again, you will tell his wife.
Ease back on the friendship and only engage with him in groups.
Lily
Jessica nailed it too.
This comes under the category of the ‘lady doth protest too much’
You are flattered, he has a wife that you believe to be more beautiful than you, so it’s both flattering and tittilating, otherwise you would have just backed off, and let it go.
You writing on here about it is a way of seeing if other women think he is into you too. Admit it.
Unfortunately, while its not fair, women can put themselves into situations by intentionally or unintentionally seeking male attention.
Tam
Tall spicy
‘Pearl clutching?’ LolThis from a woman who writes the sappiest text messages to men and thinks it’s a turn on to them….I can see why you think it’s ok since you are the first to tell a woman to call a man sweetie, after one date!
Newbie
Whats wrong with you people? Besides accusing the poster of a hidden agenda (why do you care if she does?), you insult a person who is very clear headed to me and just giving her opinion and i happen to agree with her.
Newbie
‘Lady doth protest too much’ pffff you must be the newest member of the brain police. I see that in posts too obviously and i sometimes comment in it, but not in a harsh way like that
dixit
like JK Rowling said less than a month ago, “…seems we’re always, always ‘asking for it.”
what you guys accuse OP of is just ridiculous. yeah, you might have just brushed it off if something like that happened to you but each person is unique and the fact she posted here about it does NOT mean she enjoyed it or was flattered, omg! I would be as shocked as she is (maybe even more) if, for example, my bf’s brother who is married, has two little kids and I happened to have some facebook conversation with him a few times (and once I even sent him photos of his son I took on a trip in the ZOO where he couldn’t go with us) asked me to send him my sexy pics or if he started flirting. I’d be more than shocked, more likely disgusted and couldn’t believe it.
now, Camille, I’m sorry you were put into such weird situation. I think your text to the guy said it all. He’s hopefully embarassed enough to not try again. I’d keep it at that. Maybe he’s not a cheater, guys sometimes do stupid things like this and later they can’t even explain why. If messaging other women with such requests destroyed his marriage, he’d be banging his head against the wall and wondering how he could have been that dumb.
Tam
I still want to know if the OP would be ok if she found out her husband was privately chatting with this man’s wife? Even if it’s platonic. Let’s say his wife is sending your husband messages while he is deployed to make him feel ‘connected’ you ok with this?
Frankly, I think if she posted on here about this woman asking for naked pics of her husband, after only ‘casually’ chatting, the responses would be totally different. Funny that.
tboz
I recently had a married friend (we don’t speak any more) who had a crush on me, flirted somewhat shamelessly who’s an ex-Green Beret and who’s only been with his wife for 5 years. I will admit I was crushing on him too but nothing ever happened. My question is, why are military men known for being unfaithful? I haven’t known too many outside family members.
Tam
‘Military men?’
That’s silly…
Tallspicy
Tam,
Wow. Yes, pearl clutching bullhonkey. I stand by it, sweetie. Xo!
I think any time a woman who has a partner talks to any other man for more than 90 seconds, she is clearly flirting and disrespecting her relationship.
Camille
Wow, this really exploded while I was away.
I will try to address everything. First and foremost, my husband DOES Snapchat my friend! I have absolutely no concern over this. Like I have said, we are ALL friends. (Were?) We stay up while the kids are asleep drinking beer and playing cards. We all curl up on the big couches and watch movies together on Friday nights. We spend tons of time together. The only comparison that I can make is that it is like siblings all spending time together. Now, do I feel in ANY way threatened by my husband and my friend snapping? No. Not on inkling. Because I don’t feel like we live in provincial times where men and women should not have FRIENDSHIPS. If my husband asked her for naked photos would I be angry at her, saying that she asked for it because she was sending him seemingly innocent Snapchats? Uh, no. Would I draw a line in the sand that he shouldn’t be Snapping her anymore and that we needed to distance the friendship? Duh.
My questions of why he acted the way that he did…I am honestly so in a state of shock that he did this that I guess I am trying to get to the bottom of “how” it happened. You have to understand, I saw absolutely no signs of this coming. Maybe I am dumb and took flirty to just be friendly. That could very well be. But, truly, I am beyond surprised at his request. I am a natural over thinker. I guess that my mind is thinking, “How can I save the friendship?” Let me explain: If the man has caught feelings, there is not friendship to be salvaged. However, if he just had a momentary lapse in judgment and he is deeply apologetic then I could see spacing out for some time and then trying to salvage the friendship. Does that make sense? I am not a black and white person and I always try to find a solution to “fix” things. Am I flattered that he finds me attractive? I suppose so. But no more than when men hit on me in the grocery store…
Long story short, I am disappointed for my friend and our friendships with each of them that it has crossed the boundaries of platonic friendship.
Andrea
Of course you should tell your husband and let him handle it, I do not think he would like to stay friends with such a no-brainer. And I don’t understand why you spent so much energy to analyze why did he do this to you. Why would you care why? He did it, and that’s the only factor that matters.
Tallspicy
I think telling your husband is a terrible idea. That just creates way more drama than is necessary. He sent a photo in boxers, not a dick pick. He is a silly fool and should be treated as such.
That said, if he tries anything else, then by all means do tell your husband, because he gets one warning from you…
Tam
And yes, this is Mike. Only Mike has to ‘address’ everyone’s comments.. Lol
R G
This is in no way meant as any kind of attack on the OP. There’s lots of different opinions on this, but I’m just wondering Camille, how would you feel if this was your friend sending inappropriate pics and messages to your hubby? Maybe you should think about how you would like him to react and whether or not you would like him to be upfront and tell you about it. I would really think about it and base your actions on how you would expect him to react xx
dixit
Camille, I think now it’s the time you do nothing. If he’s a decent guy and this was just a weird slip on his side, he should be the one wondering how to apologize/explain what he did and how to save you friendship. Time will tell but now I really think there’s not much you can do.
Kim
Only Mike can come up with this.. Lol
Right up there with the three way thread.Newbie
Tam, im still lost in the point you are trying to make. You think Camille handled it wrong? I dont think she did at all. Man i have gotten a lot of weird attempts to get my attention and i never asked for it. Also its entirely possible you are both disgusted and a bit flattered at the same time. Humans are sexual beings and for example, this is way off topic but ok, its a proven fact that people can feel aroused when they are getting raped. These women feel aweful about it but no one in their right mind would say they asked for it.
Anyway i dont think this is Mike. The fake posts are more likely to come from women. If i believe a post i fake i dont respond. If i have doubts i chose to react to it if it is real. So tam, if you think its Mike then why bother to respond?Tom
Wow. Hey Camille.
Donna is absolutely correct. This wasn’t due to anything you did. This is all on him. As for ppl bagging on you cuz you’re doing snapchat with someone else’s husband, it’s their lack of trust issue not yours. My female BFF and I are beyond close but we both have spouses and our boundaries reflect that.
keep proof to support your side of things. Cease all and any contact with him. You are thru with him. Just deal w/ his wife. Send kid pics to her. You will be good to go. GL.
Kat
Tom
You tried to dis others, but your advice was the same, the Op shouldn’t be talking privately with the husband.When did women get so stupid?
And tom, We all know by now about you BFF (what man even says this) who is a woman that you share all your deepest darkest thoughts with…. But the man in this OPs case Is her husband’s BFF… and the OPs best GIRL friends HUSBAND.
Tom
Kat-
How did I try to dis others? And no, my BFF and I don’t share deep dark secrets. We worked together for 10 years. Just pointing out that men and woman can be friends w/o anything going on.
Sorry, if I apparently irritate the hell out of you Kat.
Kat
I find it funny that a man calls a woman his BFF…it sounds gay. I’m not saying you can’t have a female friend, but what man says he has a BFF?
And you seem to bring it up constantly. More than you do not our own wife.
Kat
Than you do, you own WIFE.. Shouldn’t your wife be your BFF?
Newbie
Hahaha, from what i understood Tom is gay, so you get points for you gaydar:-)
Newbie
My best friend is also a gay man and my financee can handle that just fine. Its a 35 year old relationship and no way anyone can get in between that. But thats totally besides the point. If you think men and women cant be friends then think that. But i have lots of male friends and i wouldnt want to miss out on their views, sense of humour etc
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