Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My relationship is suffering
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
Maddie.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Sasha
Hello,
I need some advice and have been reading some of the forums lately.
I have been married for almost a year. The last 6 months, my husband has been getting up in the middle of the night (2am) and making and eating food. He has been getting up multiple times a night and wakes me up every single time. Now, I am having trouble sleeping and my work, social life, and everything is suffering because I’m not getting enough sleep. I have brought this up to him several times and every time he says he’s sorry and won’t do it anymore and then it keeps happening over and over.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I told him I want to sleep in the other room or somewhere else because I feel like I’m going crazy not getting enough sleep every night. Especially when I have to work the next day. He is also skipping out on his responsibilities and going in to work late, missing events, etc. It seems like he just doesn’t care. It also feels like he don’t want to be married anymore and wants to live like he is single and like his actions don’t affect other people.
What do I do??
Maddie
Is he taking any sleeping aids? Does he remember in the morning that he’s doing this? Is he missing events because he’s not actually sleeping properly either but doesn’t realize it (some sleep aids cause people to basically sleepwalk or eat like this)? Or is he perhaps struggling with a more serious non-OTC drug or alcohol problem? Because it sounds like there’s a more serious underlying problem here that’s not necessarily about your relationship.
In the meantime, can you also try earplugs and a white noise machine so you can get some rest and then think more clearly yourself?
Kaya
I have this issue with my boyfriend. I’m an early bird, he’s a night owl. We sleep in different rooms, it’s the only solution or you have to break up. It took me a long time to also train him to close the door to my room when he got up. Once he did that everything was fine. It sounds like your husband is depressed or something? Is he working? How does he run his life on this schedule??
Sasha
He doesn’t take any sleep aids to my knowledge. He did used to be an alcoholic but became sober 1 year ago.
I think he is depressed too. Because his sleeping habits are so bad, I have to wake him up in the morning or he will go into work late or call in sick because he slept in so late.I’m afraid he will lose his job.
I’m not sure how to handle this. What do you recommend I do? I’ve brought it up to him several times but he just apologizes and says he’s not perfect and he’s “working on it” but nothing really changes. I feel like he might be hiding something from me and I don’t understand the whole picture.
Thanks for your help Kaya and Maddie!
Mary
I think this is a lesson for you. You should have not entered into a relationship so soon with a recovering alcoholic.
Maddie
These sound like warning signs that he’s either struggling with mental health issues (addiction often is an outcome of self-medicating mental health issues and it getting out of control until the addiction is a problem on top of to the mental health issues) or with relapsing. He may be in denial, but is he willing to speak to a professional if whatever he’s dealing with is getting so bad that he might lose his job and it’s hurting his marriage? You may also want to look into al-anon for yourself for support in how to deal with whatever he’s going through… in addition to the earplugs and white noise machine to sleep enough to keep your thinking clear… so you can figure out what you want to do longer-term.
-
AuthorPosts
