Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Need advice on this guy
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
Jippity.
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Miracle
I have been hanging with this guy for a while now. We have never been sexual with each other. I am celibate and he understands that. He is on the same path as well. I have just been noticing a lot of things about him now. He has showed me time and time again and told me that he is interested in me. But the things I have noticed has been throwing me off. I found out he is talking to a girl that we both know. Like the same way he talks to me. I noticed that if I can not come see him he will invite another girl over the house. I would sometime notice it when he goes on live on his social media. I would hear a female voice in the background on the same days I was unable to make it to him. Smh. He called me today to see if I was coming back over to watch a movie with him and I said that I couldn’t do it. I then found out that he invited another girl to his home. I felt he was trying to just see is I was go come and hope that I wasn’t so he could invite her.
As for the girl that we both know he told me that I shouldn’t be friends because she likes him and he doesn’t want anything to mess what we had up. He would talk about her in a negative way. Maybe to throw me off smh. But the fact that he just playing me and not even care. Also when together at his house I would notice him leaving the room often to talk on the phone and be sneaky about it. I already know it was a women because she was talking so loud on speaker. Smh. Now today this man had the nerve to ask me to buy him some AirPods like wth. I am on a path for a husband and he claimed he wasn’t the type to play games because he was looking for a wife. Yet he still paying games with me. He has no idea that I know these things. I am very observant on everything.
He talks on his live about honesty and relationships and God. But off the live on the way he treats me is so different. I felt something was wrong with me. What is wrong with me that this man can be honest and know he playing a games with me and leave me alone. He knows I’m good women so leave me alone. Why play. He the one who came to me. He the one who said he wanted me and was interested in me. This really hurts. He is not practicing what he is preaching!TinkerBella
I would definitely stay away from him. Be thankful he’s shown you his true colors.
Tallspicy
You already posted about this and we responded. And if this man is not official with you, he is free to do whatever he wants.
Newbie
Yeah the Smh comments give you away here. This guy is not your bf. He might tell you he is interested in you, that doesnt make it true. This guy is young and playing the field. Maybe also not so sincere in staying a virgin. Guys are really wired different than women. Stop thinking about this guy. He isnt even close to being ready for a relationship
Lane
You still seem to be struggling here, and are expecting a single man to play your relationship game but not all of them want to, so they will play theirs, which they are allowed to do.
Back in my day we called it “playing the field” where a SINGLE PERSON IS FREELY ALLOWED (burn that sentence in your head) to meet, talk to, date, and associate with other single people of the opposite (or same) sex if they *want to*. If he’s lying to you, that’s a sign of one’s bad character, and if you like to associate with, or spend time with liars, then that’s YOUR CHOICE to do so! You essentially have TWO CHOICES: 1) Stay on the field, and continue to play with Mr. two-timing liar; OR 2) Get off the field, and let the other ladies play with him, and then have to constantly worry if he’ll be looking for and/or seeing other women behind their back—solely up to you!
Again, you do not get to control nor tell other adults what they can or cannot do. They can do whatever the heck they want, whether it be dating and/or sleeping with: none, one at a time or several at a time. BTW, I never stopped meeting, talking to, and hanging out [not sleeping with] single guys when I was single, and the one thing I learned by doing this is that if a man is truly *smitten* with you; you will be the ONLY ONE he goes after. This guy will put ALL his energy, time, and effort towards you, even if you are meeting, talking to, or dating other guys! SO CHOSE: Keep playing with this guy or let him go (drop him), and spend your time finding a better guy.
Jippity
I’d like to echo what Lane has said. This man has made no commitment to you so he owes you nothing.
He’s clearly playing the field and, while I understand how disappointing this is to you, all you can do is accept it. Your values and his values don’t match. With opposing values you’d never really be happy together.
Any man who truly wants to be with you and wants a future with you puts ALL his dating time and energy in to you.
Obviously he’ll save energy for work, family, friends, hobbies etc too.
BUT he won’t give other women the time of day.
I know it feels difficult to find, especially in this climate of dating apps and SO. MUCH. CHOICE.
But I’ve found this 6 months ago and you will one day too.
There are dating websites for people who are marriage-orientated, so maybe trying to find one of those would be best for you. That way you’d be starting from the foundation of having the same values, which is a great place to start.
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