Newly dating


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  • #934990 Reply
    Gemma

    I think I’m overthinking things so need some advice.
    About a month ago I started talking to this guy, he is respectful, caring just a really good guy. We had our third date round his house at the weekend and he cooked me dinner. When I arrived he was a bit flustered as he’d been running late. He didn’t seem as comfortable as usual around me. It was a nice evening, we didn’t and haven’t had sex yet. We chilled on the sofa for a bit but the heat was insane and he was noticeably bothered about how sweaty he was. When I left I felt a bit put out because he wasn’t his usual comfortable self around me. I asked him and he said he was hot and flustered and was worried how he looked. Since then it’s been playing on my mind and I asked him if everything was ok and told him my thought and asked him if he wanted us to take a step back. He told me to stop being silly. He text me good morning and good night everyday and still does and is just really nice. But I can’t help notice that since then he is slower to respond to me and I’m just overthinking everything. I know how rediculous it sounds, I just can’t tell if I’m overthinking things or if he is slowly going to back off but doesn’t want to say because I know he would hate to upset me .

    #934992 Reply
    Gemma

    Update – he finally texted me saying things are too intense and he doesn’t want to continue things right now 😣.
    He isn’t a horrible guy at all but it hurts quite bad that he wasn’t honest when I knew something was wrong? 😔

    #934993 Reply
    Raven

    Sometimes it’s difficult to say this stuff face to face… On the other side, he did finally come fourth & didn’t string you along or fade…

    #934994 Reply
    Gemma

    No he isn’t a bad person at all. He eventually told me he was happy and fine you until my reaction because I was so worried about how uncomfortable he seemed on the Saturday. So essentially I ruined it all myself for no good reason. I don’t think he’ll ever change his mind and I wouldn’t try to, but he did say he’d like to be friends eventually. Does that ever work out for anyone- it’s not like we’re going to bump into each other so an conscious effort would have to be made. He is the kind of person I would want to have a friend in my life but when the dust settles how do I even attempt to enter the friend zone since I haven’t known him that long?

    #934995 Reply
    AngieBaby

    Ugh.

    This was someone you met online right? Third date is too early IMO for a home date. I like to wait at least 6-8 before I invite someone over or go to theirs. It’s too easy for one thing to lead to another and get sexual too soon. Also, your home is your personal space. I need to know someone and see who they are and if they meet my standards before I let someone into my space or enter theirs.

    You didn’t “ruin” anything Gemma. This guy has issues that were going to come out sooner or later and it’s better it was sooner.

    My advice is don’t bother trying to be “friends.” That’s usually just a line. And if you’re dating, you’re dating to meet a romantic partner. When I was in my 20s and doing online dating the guys who said they wanted to be friends, would disappear as soon as they got a GF.

    Also… this guy told you everything was fine when it wasn’t. Is that really the kind of friend you want?? I want friends who will be honest with me and not lie to be polite.

    #934996 Reply
    AngieBaby

    Also why are you hurt so bad that he was dishonest? That’s 100% on him. Nothing to do with you. You can be unhappy or not like that someone lied, but absolutely no point in taking it personally and feeling hurt. Be grateful you saw his true character right up front before you got too attached or had sex.

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