Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › No contact after first date?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 10 years, 4 months ago by
celesteannv.
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Sophie
So this guy approached me and my friend at a bar and ended up joining us for drinks and taking us around the city. My friend messaged me his number saying he wanted me to have it and he texted me the following day just to say good morning and then for the next week we texted fairly regularly.
He invited me out to dinner and even offered to pick me up, and we had a really good time out. I texted him afterwards to say thanks, and he replied a dew days later apologising for the late reply and saying he was really busy at work and he would text again soon to organise something. It has now been over a week and still no text! I’m very confused because he seemed to really like me when we went out.
I don’t want to text him again because I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy, but at the same time I don’t want to stop talking to him! What do you think? Is there any hope I’ll hear from him again or should I forget him?
Talllady
You should forget him. He stopped talking to you after the date and only replayed to be polite. Otherwise he would never use the word busy without an explanation. Busy without specific explanation and specific timing of unbusy is a sign of non interest.
And NEVER text a thank you after a date. You should be appreciative and thankful during the date. He knows where to find you, and you could have saved yourself some time by letting him lead… Now you are a week later because you pressed him for communication. And yes, a thank you is pressing for communication…
Talllady
What a man does on the date is irrelevant. Only what he does after to see you again…
Stacey
I disagree with not thanking him for the date. There is no reason that one text after a date isn’t ok. I do agree that he is not interested in you though. He would have texted or called you to set something else up.
Lane
Yup ladies are right. I personally don’t text after a date and let them decide if they want to see me again or not. A man who’s interested wouldn’t have responded with “I’m busy and a maybe future date”, he would have contacted you within 2-3 days to plan and schedule another ACTUAL date.
Never go into a date anticipating that it will result in another. Just be who you are and if they like what they see and hear, they will ask you out again. Try to leave the last good impression at the end of the date, whereas if you start it right off with “texting” its not only the WORST MEASUREMENT to use as an interest level benchmark, but can screw it up by giving off the overly interested vibe and/or giving away too many personal details to the point a man doesn’t or won’t feel compelled to EARN IT by taking you out.
Jj
It’s polite to send a thank you text after a date. Often thank yous on the night are mumbled and quickly forgotten. Why do you think people send thank you cards for gifts etc even if they received them and said thank you in person.
The world would be a much better place if people held higher standards of common courtesy.
I know guys that don’t bother to follow up if a girl doesn’t send a thank you text particularly if they have organised and paid for everything. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, I would just find it rude.
Lane
Jj, I would agree if the thank you texts amounted to anything meaningful, whereas its become overused and abused. Ultimately if a guy’s interested he will reach out and ask you out again, just like they did for centuries before the advent of phones and texting were around.
If a lady wants to send a thank you text I have no problem with it, IF its to genuinely “thank him” for a nice evening and expect nothing more from it. But that’s not what they’re doing and are USING IT to gauge his interest level, and has now become one of the biggest problems in dating today because it can easily evolve into “textship” and then the ladies wonder why the guys aren’t taking them out.
celesteannv
I actually ALWAYS texted thank you to a guy after a date he planned, regardless if I wanted to see him again or not.
That being said.. Lane is 100% right.. if a guy wants to ask you out again he will. I just posted in another thread about my guy.. asked me out for date 2 while still on date 1.. granted it was a 3 hr lunch so he knew I kinda like him too :)
This guy is a pass hon, I would not worry about him and move on. -
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