Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › No Contact and Snapchat?
- This topic has 14 replies and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by
Hannah.
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Hanna
So, my ex and I recently broke up (a week ago). The day after the breakup, he asked me, if we could continue seeing each other as friends, but I had to tell him no.
Since then we have not had any sort of contact – no talking, texting, liking and so on.
But yesterday, I posted a video on my Snapchat Story, totally ignorant of the fact, that we are friends on there too. So this morning, I totally panicked when I saw, that he had seen it.
It’s just a video of myself and a girlfriend having fun, so theres nothing weird about the video itself.
My question is if I broke the No Contact-rule, by posting a Snapchat Story?
I mean, he is the one who actively clicked on it and viewed it, but should I delete him, and should I start the NC-period over?Thanks!
ollie
hey. I went through something similar a while back. Even though my ex and I ended things amicably, I still decided that NC was best for me so that I could move on and let feelings subside. But like you, I sort of forgot about us being snapchat friends. After we split, all of the sudden he began to use snapchat EVERYDAY (posting stories, snapping other people) and it was driving me insane; Plus, he never really used it much when we were together. I later found out he was doing all of this to make me jealous. So for my own sanity, I had to remove him and even some of his friends from snap so I could move forward.
But the point is, that yes, you should remove him so you make make a healthy move forward. Snapchat makes it so easy for people to check in on each others lives without having to directly communicate; it’s like little snippets of our days. And if you’re going through a breakup, constantly seeing what your ex is doing can really hold you back. It was hard at first for me to delete him, but I actually felt so much better once I did. It was a weight off my shoulders because now both he and I (even though we were on good terms) weren’t constantly trying to see what the other was doing, when we should have been focusing on our own lives.
Hannah
Thanks for your answer, Ollie!
He is not, and has never been, very active on Snapchat, and only uses it for communication with friends etc.
So I’m not really worried about me checking on on him, and thereby getting a hard time moving on – I’m very aware of not doing that, and even if he did post something to his MyStory, I would not open it and watch it.I am more concerned about wether or not I broke the NC-rule by posting to MyStory. It is not unusual for me to post something once or twice a week… :-)
Ali
How are you breaking the “no contact” rule, you are just doing what you always do… he happens to be one of your friends and he watched it.
It would be different if you were doing it to somehow get to him, or send him some kind of message.
Just live your life!
Pam
Are you using no contact to try and get him back? It’s sounds that way because the strictness of rules you are commenting on them suggests you aren’t doing this to get over him, but rather make him want you back? nC isn’t intended to be a ploy to get a man back.
Hannah
Ali – That’s what I’m thinking, but I wasn’t sure if posting counts as contact, and I couldn’t find anything about it online either. But I’m glad thats what you’re thinking too! :-)
Pam – Absolutely! I mean, I know NC has benefits for myself too, but I am definitely hoping that this strategy will make him miss me as well, I am not going to deny that!
Hannah
But I have to add, that I did not post that video in order for him to miss me! The video was a little goofy – my friend and I singing along to a funny song, so if that was the case, I would have posted something that showed off a better side of me ;-)
Emma
I think you broke it in a way. You saw him looking your story, so it is an indirect contact. That’s why no contact means NO contact in any way, direct or indirect. Social media allows for indirect contacts and you had it. And now you are agonizing over it.
If you really want no contact, you need to unsnap and unfollow and even unfriend him. You need you have NO reminders, no exposure whatsoever.
Pam
All the bogus articles on getting a man back with NC…. don’t get your hopes up. And no contact means you block the person from social media. Let’s face it if he is still on your Facebook you will be able to track his activity even if you aren’t commenting or liking things. No contact means no communications actively or passively. What are you planning to do after the ‘nc Period’ you mention? There is no set timeframe.
Hannah
Thank you for your replies!
Emma – Do you then mean, that if I had not noticed, that he had seen it, I would not have broken NC?
I think maybe unfriending is a little hard – especially since I hope to get back together again. I want to be firm about us not seeing each other as friends, but I also want to be kind, and not scare him away.Pam – I am actually planning on keeping NC going, until he reaches out, I have no timeframe.. I know that NC doesn’t guarantee that he will come back, but I have to at least give it a try. And I actually do believe, that cutting myself out from his life for a little while, could make him miss me…
I have blocked him on Snapchat now though – no reason for him to see what I’m up to..
kaye
You only broke up a week ago. You don’t say why he broke it off or how long you were dating. I think those 2 pieces of information are critical as to whether you even have a shot he’ll miss you and realize he made a mistake.
Also if your intention is to get him back through no contact then I think it’s actually great he saw you having fun with your girlfriend only a week post breakup and you aren’t home crying your eyes out posting relationship quotes or something. And now that you blocked him I think he’ll notice that too. It’s win-win for you I think!!
And yes everyone posts a no contact disclaimer saying it’s not for getting them back but for you to heal and move on and yeah yeah yeah, we get it! But it’s also the best and fastest way to get them back if they are coming back!!!
Algo
I feel like 95% of relationships that were broken, are not worth putting back together again.
Why did you break up and why would you want someone who throws you away, dumps you, back in your life as your 1 special person? Most of the time, it is not worth it at all. You probably broke up for a reason…
Khadija
Please don’t go no contact in hopes that he will miss you and things will change.
You may end up seriously disappointed. Only do NC to heal and gain some clarity, doing it as a ploy to get someone back is a waste of time.
Lastly, just block him on all social media, problem solved.
Yunni
You didn’t break NC by posting snapchats. BUT, the NC rule is meant to cut the energy you spend on thinking about him. If you still care about him, think about him this much, technically you haven’t broken contact with him in ur head, even though you didn’t actually contact him.
Hannah
It was kind of a mutual breakup – I wanted more, he couldn’t see it becoming more serious. We have been FWB for 1 year, and then we dated for 5 months, until I couldn’t handle him not showing me the affection that I believe to people in love should show each other, so I had to ask him what his intentions were…
Kaye – I’m glad that’s what you think. I am obviously hoping that’s how the video was perceived and that he didn’t take offence or thought it was lame…
Algo – we did break up for a reason, yes. But I’m afraid I’m just not seeing things rationally right now, which is also why I figure, that NC can work for me.
Khadija – As I stated above, I do hope he will get back in touch – I am in love. But I am realistic about it too, and I know that him coming back is against the odds, but I have to try.
Yunni – You are right. I shouldn’t keep thinking about him like this. I shouldn’t think twice about that video, that means he still has power over me. But I’m glad I didn’t break my NC. I think it would be breaking NC if I was the one, who viewed HIS story. :-)
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