Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › No emotions after breakup?
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
Ann.
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Ann
Please read my previous post (Am I wasting my time?)
So he finally ended things after a month and a half a few days ago. He broke up with me in such a hateful way, it was kinda unexpected. I can tell he has so much anger inside him, he tried insulting me and putting me down and said “I don’t want to be with you”. That was all he said so I didn’t even bother replying I simply erased his contact and blocked him on social media. The thing is I feel no emotions at all, I don’t feel sad, hurt, or angry. It’s weird because I’m a person who feels emotions so deeply and intensely. I remember my previous break up I felt like dying! I was constantly crying and hurting. But this time it’s so different. I did love him a lot but maybe I saw it coming already? I feel like throughout the whole relationship I was always hurting, maybe I was preparing for this loss? This past month was very confusing and heart breaking but he ended things and after that it stopped. Maybe I’m relieved im no longer going to be surrounded by such toxic and fake people who were constantly getting in between us (his friends)? Btw I have been focusing on myself, going to therapy and dance classes, hanging out with genuine friends so I know this is helping. Anyways I’m still shocked that I’m not feeling any emotions, has anyone else felt like this after a breakup? Also I met this cute, really cool guy at the bar last weekend we danced and flirted a little but NOTHING happened. He asked for my number and he said we should go out for a drink tomorrow night, should I go?Miriam
I’m sorry to break it to you. You ARE feeling emotions. Otherwise you wouldn’t have written this post!
Also it’s not at all normal to feel “nothing” after a breakup.
No emotions means- indifference. I dont care, no posts no looking back. Please be real with yourself!
Ann
It’s funny how you want to tell me how I’m feeling LOL!
Liz Lemon
I can’t remember the details of your previous post. But if it was a very toxic relationship you’re probably just numb. From the sound of it you’ve probably been through such an emotional wringer with this guy that you’re just at the point where you’re just done, emotionally. You’re totally maxed out on an emotional level, like a credit card that’s reached its limit.
You will need time to heal, and some strong emotions may surface later. It sounds like the relationship may have been abusive, or at the least, very emotionally unhealthy. So you need time to let your thoughts and feelings get back in order.
Please continue to hang with your friends, go to therapy, and focus on yourself.
Liz Lemon
Also- were you only with this guy (the toxic boyfriend) a month and a half? Am I reading that right? That’s only 6 weeks. So you’re not going to have the same level of heartbreak that you would if a longer term relationship ended (6 months, or various years, etc). If it was 6 weeks of hell there’s not much to be sad about. Just be glad it’s over.
Ann
@Liz, you’re right this relationship was an emotional roller coaster! And I guess in a way I feel relieved. And no, we dated for a year. This past month and a half we were trying to figure out what we were going to do about our relationship.
Liz Lemon
Yeah, I was in a relationship like that, years ago. It was a toxic 2 year rollercoaster and when it ended, I was mostly just relieved. I did cry and feel kinda bad later on, at times, but my initial feeling was just relief that the bull$hit had finally ended. Overall, I really didn’t feel too bad about it ending, to be honest. It needed to end.
You were probably mentally breaking up with him during the last month and half anyway without realizing it.
Keep doing things you love, seeing your friends, and seeing your therapist. Focus on you for now. You’ll be fine.
Newbie
I said before you recreated your first relationship and turned it into a drama rollercoaster. Maybe that was too harsh looking back, but i hope that with therapy youre getting now, you are seeing that this guy wasnt right for you anyway. And thats why youre getting a sense of calmness. You probably will grieve for the next few weeks, but as an outsider im actually happy for you he broke it off. You cant go into a relationship causing drama and suspicions. It just isnt love. Give it some time. A cute guy is always nice to help you with it. But also take some time to think why you get into these toxic relationships. So you can avoid them in the future. Love will come for you and i wish you a happy single live for the nearest future ❤️
Paige
I’m not trying to be an a-hole, but you knew him for six weeks. 42 days. How upset would you expect to be?
Ann
@Newbie, yes I really want to work on myself to not repeat the same pattern. Thank you so much for your kind works!
@Paige, I don’t want to be an a-hole but if you would’ve read my previous post or even my previous comment on here you’d see I dated this guy for a year not 6 weeks :)
Sophia
Hi Ann.
I just reread your original post. My feeling is that as it had been a month and a half of trouble (until he got ugly) you may have been processing through some emotions without realizing it. Subconsciously you knew it needed to end.
I too am happy for ending it. Because his recent hateful spew is all the closure you’ll ever need. Very doubtful you’ll ever be wondering “what if” on this one. Nope. No feeling bad over it. Just good riddance!
To quote Warren Beatty:
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 😉But seriously, to answer your question, heck yeah you should go out with Mr. Cute Guy tomorrow night!
Time to have some fun again, don’t you think?
Ann
@Sophia, it was a hard month! and I’m glad I no longer feel hurt or confused. and yes, I know I did everything I could. Lol, I agree! I deserve to be happy and have fun again :)
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