Nothing ever happens

Ann, that sounds like an all through lovely pedicure :-D

Violet,

I see that you act passive-agressive. Well, I won’t let your honesty, manipulation and provocation reach me.

About perspective, yours seems limited to your belly button.

What is a paywall?? You have to pay for your membership now? Do you pay them Vi? Tam?

FWNB = Friends with NO Benefits ;) hahaha and guess what I met them all on the dating site LOL. I have friends who r all married and with kids and so it is not possible to hang out with them or go for a movie with them often. I kind of relate to guys easier I find than girls. So these FWNBs I go with them for movies, dinner, lunches, coffee, drives, pool, golf, picnic, bbq, helicopter ride …. wow did not realise it had become such a big list. Its fun and no stress and no wondering when will they contact me etc. etc. Since we are just friends it doesn’t matter who contacts whom first. Or if someone is busy or has to cancel at the last minute or anything. Its fun to be with them and get their perspective on life. I am quite selective in my FWNBs though. What is the point of being friends with someone who cannot make conversation or anything right :) Also don’t need any guys with an attitude :D

Ha… well I won’t be paying for MM.. that’s for sure. MM = Marlon Manson.. or whatever that nutcase is !

GREAT story ANN.. reminds us to appreciate what we have in life.

I decided.. am going to get pregnant by the German, call the child Adolf… and PISS my family off ! .. Am joking btw ! Am telling ya… If I bring the German home… they’ll ask him if he’s a Nazi !!!! I’m serious ! NO offence to anyone by the way with my referances… just showing how small minded my family ARE !

yep.. he’s working till 10 I figure.. but he may not get in touch at all. And I’m ok if he doesn’t. Am glad I was “big” enough to break the ice.

My niece and great niece are home from Oz… so had a nice catch up with them.

Marilyn Manson… yes… imagine bringing him home to meet the parents…

I agree… annoying the family IS fun… but on the other hand… some of the things I do… my mom would freak out if she knew, so better keep most of it a secret…

You should go all in and call the kid Hilter… that’d shut your in laws up for good…

Must be cool to live in Oz… we have a small town by the name of Hell in Sweden… “So, where do you live?” “Oh, I live in Hell” hahaha, seriously…

Because because because because because we’re off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Oz…

Ha Ha Maria.. just had image of a dyslexic dictator.. writing Kampf Mein… :)

Surprise…surprise ..He never replied. You were right Ann. So….no mini Hitler a thank god you’ll be all glad to hear.

I am sorely disappointed but time to move on now. Closure from within as you say Vi. I don’t think I can be even bothered now letting him know I am coming back. I will meet up with other friends and gave a good time anyway .at some stage I would like to salvage our friendship. …just not right now. i will not contact him again.

So..Celeste. where’s this new job??? Nearer home??? Closer to J ????

Vi…Life is indeed looking up for you !!! It’s going well enough over all for ALL of us. Aren’t we blessed.

Sorry about Frank Harl… I think it’s SHIT that he said he was gonna message you… and then he didn’t.

IS THIS THE ARTICLE ;I COPIED AND PASTED IT !

I read lots of stories submitted by women in the comments on the articles on this site, many of which contain an underlying tone of “I feel powerless, what should I do?” In addition to that, there’s an underlying feeling of helplessness that accompanies them.

I read it every single day, scores of women desperately wanting to “do, do, do” something to control the direction a relationship is moving. To speed one up to their satisfaction, to make a man date them in the way they prefer, to nudge the man along…you get the idea.

But here’s the thing ladies. You DO have power – but in many cases, you’re simply choosing not to enact it.

Let’s explore, shall we?

Two Words Apply Here: Passive Versus Proactive

Below is the definition of those two words referenced above.

Passive:“Accepting or allowing what happens, without active response or resistance.”

Proactive:“Creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen, rather than responding to it after it has happened.”

Get where I’m going here?

I experience this everyday in the comments on this site; women behaving in a passive manner about their future and the man that may or may not be in it.

I see women literally waiting for a man to “pick” them, to reach a decision about them, literally putting their dating lives on hold after a couple of dates or a sexual experience or two. Now granted, it has taken me many, many years to understand the very valuable difference between passive and proactive.

But let me tell you ladies, once you do grasp the concept – empowering is the word.

Free Will and the Power of “Choice”

We all have free will and as such, we are all gifted with the ability to make our own decisions and choices in life.

However, with that gift comes a great amount of responsibility and accountability – for the decisions YOU make. (Heavy is the head that wears the crown…) It goes without saying that we all need to be mature enough to realize that there will be some personal responsibility and accountability that goes along with the power to make those hefty decisions.

When you choose to date passively, you have to accept that you’re choosing to be acted upon by others, thus willfully placing yourself into a rather powerless, hopeless position and one in which you may end up victimized.

However, when you choose to date proactively, you are now choosing to rule your kingdom, in total control of your future and the man who may or may not be in it, thus placing yourself in a very powerful position, one of great hope, and one in which you will not end up victimized.

It’s a mindset, ladies, and it’s a choice. In life we have to be responsible and accountable for our own actions and decisions and when you decide to passively participate in life, often you end up victimized. In the end, there’s no one to blame because you made that co-dependent decision (your decision “depended” upon someone else’s decision, instead of your own), you made the choice for it to be that way.

If, however, you responsibly make a different choice and you chose to proactively participate in life, often you end up feeling in control, feeling as if the world is your oyster. In the end, YOU are the one that is responsible for all the blessings that the universe bestows upon you for your wisdom and strength in making that independent decision for yourself.

Start to look at the world as your oyster ladies, and the men in your life as your kingdom. Instead of passively sitting and waiting, waiting, waiting for men to “pick” you, for THEM to make a decision about YOU – choose to take full advantage of all that life has to offer and of all that being a single, independent modern woman has to offer and instead, YOU make a decision about the MAN. You “pick” your man.

You have the power to do that. You have say-so in the matter. You are free to make your own decisions for yourself and you are empowered by your independence to do so.

Here’s What You DON’T Have The Power To Do:

•Make a man love you.
•Make a man want to enter into a relationship with you.
•Make a man date you and court you in the manner you prefer.
•Make a guy get his act together (i.e. remove other women from it).
•Control the speed at which the relationship progresses (or whether or not it progresses at all).

Here’s What You DO Have the Power To Do:

•Walk away from situations and people that do not make you happy, that make you feel used, and that do not care to fulfill your needs.
•Be proactive about finding what it is that you want, what will make you happy, a man that wants the same things as you do and one that’s willing to fulfill your needs.
•Make the choice to be responsible and accountable for your own happiness.

Don’t choose to be a helpless victim. Instead, grab hold of the power that is yours. At no other time in history ladies, have women been so powerful and been granted the independence and control over their own lives that they have now – right now, at this very moment in time.

Be a part of that movement, be a part of that revolution and the power that is female force – a piece of that belongs to you, and it’s sitting in your lap, right now as we speak.

Grab your crown and place it high on your head, embrace the responsibility it carries and become accountable for your own happiness – and rule YOUR kingdom with an iron fist. Send them to the dungeons never to see the light of day again, or honor them a Knight at your round table with the possibility of someday becoming your Prince Charming.

The choice is yours – the power is yours. Now what will you do with it – will you start a (dating) revolution?

I’m STILL at “knight and round table bit.. prince charming” but I’ll soon ” banish him to the dungeon”.

I’m a bit like a NUMPTY Humpty Dumpty at the momment.. ALL the King’s horses and ALL the king’s men, CANNOT put me back together again !

But.. am working on it ! AS WE SPEAK !

Yes, it’s the article.

Thank you my sweat Harley for copying it <3 (and for reading and commenting on it).

I didn’t bring it up because I in any way think that anyone in this thread is passive… I just love what she says… and it applies to life in general as well as to our love lives…

I know many of you are into The Secret, and you know I’m not a super fan. I think that even if you are a fan it really is a good idea to combine it with proactiveness… cause The Secret and passiveness will never work…

Humpty Dumpty… the harsh reality is no one can put us together.. we have to do it ourselves, eventhough, never forget, love IS healing…

I especially like the “Grab your crown and place it high on your head, embrace the responsibility it carries and become accountable for your own happiness – and rule YOUR kingdom with an iron fist. Send them to the dungeons never to see the light of day again, or honor them a Knight at your round table with possibility of some day becoming your Prince Charming”.

It’s so colorful and fairytaly and speaks straight to my heart.

I think every girl in the world should “grab her crown and place it high on her head, become responsible for her own happiness – and rule HER kingdom with an iron fist”…

And as said our love lifes are only one part of it… the contents of this article could and should be used in every and any situation in life…

It all boils down to control… just make the right decisions and choices and take control of YOUR lives girls, and the world will be your oyster…

Great article Maria and Harley. thanks for sharing!
Vi.. I love that quote and totally agree on closure. No one can give it to you. I found that I won my own with R.
Sorry about Frank H.. but like you said before, he has many things on his plate and would most likely not have been able to offer you what you want/need for the long run. Maybe he sees that too and is actually doing the right thing by staying away.
Job is in marketing for a chain of urgent care facilities. Not really closer as I will not have a central location… and will be troubleshooting at a variety of sites. More flexible though and will be able to work from home at times. Really excited and looking forward to new challenges. Was very stunted here!