Nothing ever happens

Group hug. :)

Normal Guy is traveling this week, and he and a coworker were driving through the oil fields yesterday, going to a construction site (he’s a pipeline inspector)…..anyway. He called me while driving and put me on speaker phone and said he just wanted to say hi. So, I had a conversation with him and his coworker. The coworker obviously had been told all kinds of things about me. He knew where I worked, where I was from, joked with me a bit about how he would close his ears for a while if I wanted to say anything private to Normal Guy…… There was lots of laughing, and I’m definitely getting the impression this guy is really normal. Could it be they were driving to a casino? Horse Track? Crack House? That’s the way my life usually goes! Ha

Ha…..Sherri…good one.

Sex is just plain fun, it just is. I can’t seem to untangle it from emotions like you can Sherri. I wish I had that ability!!

For me I am sure I would be very emotionally involved with FWB if I saw a future with him in anyway. But right from the 1st time I met him, when he told me that he lives with his parents, I knew I couldn’t go there again (had done that with my ex) and so I actually told him that I did not find a future with him.

But I was quite upset when I went home as I was quite attracted to him and totally drawn to his personality. So I messaged him again just to say hi and he told me that he would really like to date me. I told him ok as long as it is casual. Right at the beginning I had put sex off the table. And he was ok with it. When we met and made out and stuff, he was very patient with me as I had a lot of barriers that he had to bring down. I am actually quite grateful to him for that as I did not even realise that time that I needed that patience. It took me almost 3+months to even be ready to have sex with him.

I remember being upset as he was seeing other girls. We had not had the exclusivity talk. And when he told me a week after we met twice that he had met this girl and they had made out, I was like ok that’s fine but I am not comfortable fooling around with someone who may be fooling around with someone else. I am not telling you not to do, its just that then in that case I will back out. He thought over it and decided to stick with me for whatever reason and not go with that other girl. He had a kind of a make out/blow job thing with her (no sex). When I asked him why he did that he was like you are way better than her in all aspects so I rather stick with you LOL. That was a total ego boost to me. And I had never given him a blow job …. RFOL

During the time that we have been “casually dating” (that’s what he calls it), he has dated 2 other girls but just met them a couple of times. I remember becoming needy etc as once he had made plans with them and he did not have time for me. I also remember there being a time when he was really busy at work and him wanting to spend the one day that he had off by himself and me becoming really upset. So yeah I went thru all the needy, upset phases.

I have met his parents, dined and had lunch with them, met his sister, few cousins, uncle, gone for a family event as his friend. But both he and I know we are not in a “relationship”. But it also helped me keep my perspective as I knew that I would never want a future with him and the possibility of him moving out of his parents house is quite nil. And knowing about his previous relationships which were actually just an FWB with a title helped me distance myself emotionally.

Plus in the summer he was way too busy that we did not meet at all. Then I started dating P and me being with P helped me flush out the hormones from my system with FWB. So I guess now that we have been “together” for almost 11 months, my hormones have settled down and its no big deal if I don’t see him. Actually I find that he is ideal for me as I can date and meet other guys while having my physical needs met.

What used to annoy me was his texting habits where he used to not reply to my texts for days till I sent him a reminder. But as soon as I told him that that was not acceptable behaviour, he has made a point to reply to me. We don’t text much, just about schedules or cancellations or meetings but he agreed that that was his fault and is ok with replying to my texts or texting his schedule so we can co-ordinate.

He is a very nice guy and someone I can totally be myself with and someone whom I find indulges me and makes me feel beautiful and really accomplished (sex wise) though I am totally winging it. An added plus is that he is great at making me scream ;) that always helps LOL

GREAT NEWS PHEEBS !

Hope he keeps “IT” up… the texts as well !

Yea.. I’m getting slowly excited. NOT there YET. Just trying NOT to think of him and have NO expectations. Right now,,, I just want the zipper of that dress NOT to break in Germany.

Cleo I would suggest you just tell him that you need some space from him and that he not contact you. Tell him that you cannot do this breaking up getting back together thing. That you need some space from him for you and that if he cares for you, he will respect your request. This will help you gain some perspective and help you go no contact. As you cannot go no contact if he keeps contacting you and it will get all ur emotions tangled up and you will not be able to move on.

I guess since you are officially “single” you can go meet up with back burner guy :)

Well.. I’ve just gone crazy messaging 2 guys on POF. One.. I mentioned already and another. I decided.. what the hell !

Sherri, your story is interesting. When I think about many of us on this forum, I can see how many are growing and learning, just in the very short time I have “been” here. Others are more wise, and have seen their share of rodeos. I am just thankful for all of you. Seriously, thank you.

Then of course there are the ones that come here, post a horror story and vanish, not really wanting to hear advice. I learn from them too.

You are right Harley! I do want to much to soon all my way LOL. I’m acting like a serial dater right now haha. I think it is just to get P off my mind. I relate so much with you and Frank. It is so hard to get these guys out of our minds!

Yes it is easier said than done, and I am going to flirt my ass off this weekend LOL. And, you better flirt it and get it in Germany, girl I know you can do it (:

Sending hugs Mel…..communication is not a bad thing, at least one conversation to understand what occurred.

So Maria and Harley were right, back burner guy (N) said he had a lot of errands to run today, and he had a wild night out last night. That is why it took so long to text me.

He said he definitely wants to kick it and wants to take me to a Blues game which is the hockey league in my state.

I said next week we should go for drinks, and that I was definitely down for the Blues game.

I haven’t even thought of P, since N has been contacting me, so maybe this can turn into something more. *fingers crossed*

And, Sherri you were right the going back and forth together is to draining. I will give him his space and see my own guys at the same time.