Nothing ever happens

Strangely enough….I am not excited yet..overlaps I am preparing myself for the worst…He would t show ! Maybe when I am there…excitement will hit ! Glad to hear you got some meds.hope they take effect quick.

I would just be friendly with 38 yr old. Play it by ear..but if you can get in about asking is he seeking a relationship. You’ll know more if he asks or a 2nd date..All sounds cool with fwb !!

38 yr old sounds promising. Widowers. ..so to speak. ..could be grieving. SOME Folk THING They DO NOT want a relationship/marriage until the right person comes along. I thought I’d never get married again…Frank changed my mi d about that !

Hi girls,
Have been caving it a little. Work.. meh.. Had a promising interview and back to the mill of sending out resumes and letters.
Hurt my neck at work last Thursday reaching for something and just recovering.. will tell you what a shit environment is is to work in.. HR hems and haws about putting in a workers comp claim.. am getting the idea that they have $ issues.. yeah :(
My dad’s dad passed with short notice on Friday at age 98. Good long life and only rough at the end, but still hard as they are so far away.
With losing my mom’s mom in August, dealing with my mom’s health issues and now my Pep, feeling their and obviously my own mortality.
J is good but I am feeling mopey and needy. I told him to be aware of the emotion flood as coming up on that time of month too!
Need a mental and emotional boost today for sure!

Mel, you are the coolest cuke I know. Wow.. I would be all of the guy with questions…
Sherri.. let the 38 year old pursue and lead the conversation.. you will most likely have an idea of his intentions by the end of the ‘date’
Harls.. when do you leave????
Ann.. is normal guys still normal? I actually just had a conversation with J. I sent this this great quote from Charles Orlando about what ‘good stuff’ looked and felt like in a relationship. He is like duh.. that is what is all about. I said I know, but am still learning that this is what healthy looks like :)
Off to a meeting to get verbally abused – hoo ha

Hi all !

Cleo, me and Orlando are… new to each other. Saturday will be our 5th “date”… and he stated from start that he “doesn’t have time for a gf”… soo… yes, we’re sort of casual or just “enjoying each other’s company”…

Harley, tomorrow it begins… you’ll get clarity and I’m sure you’ll have a blast too… I’m gonna look for your updates like 10 times a day…

If you still have the rash you can try termal water spray and baby zink cream for rashes instead of cortisone.

Sherri, can’t they even determind where the water comes from? Seriously, it can pretty much only be a leaking water pipe… they just need to find the leak, WHERE the pipe is broken, and fix it… and yes, they need to do that before your floor gets severely mould damaged…

Mel, he “broke up” with you because of some other girl (real or not), then he wants to see you, and tells you he’s depressed and haven’t seen anyone… and you think it has to do with his ex’s birthday. It is possible that he wants to focus on the positive… but his whole behavior just seems strange and (I’m sorry) false and selfish, and to be honest unhealthy, to me… I’d definitely move on from this guy if I were you…

Celeste, I’m sorry to hear that you’re in a “down period”. I’m positive things are gonna get better for you bit by bit… your current job is most likely just a short stop on the road to something much better… I’m sorry to hear about your grandpa too… but like Harley (kind of) said if you go at 98 it’s more positive than negative… it’s the circle of life at it’s “best”… I hope he had a good life…

The great relationship quote, can you post it here?

Date update:

So 38 year old and me met yesterday. We had decided to meet for dessert around 7:30pm. I had a feeling something was going to happen and did not want to dress up and then it get cancelled. So I sent him a message around 7 confirming that we were still on and he confirmed the same. Then I knew I would not be able to make it for 7:30 so told him that I was going to be there for 7:45 which he said was fine.

So I get in my car and almost near the place and he calls me and asks me if I can come to the MacDonald’s which is a little further instead as something happened with his car. When I reach there, he had a huge metal thing stuck in his wheel and a flat tire. He asked me if I could give him a ride to his place so that he can get his snow tires and change them as else he would need to reschedule and call a friend. I did not really mind and it would give me an opportunity to see him in not a “date like” setting so I gave him a ride to his place where he got an extra pair of tires, we came back and he changed two tires.

After that we went for dessert to a place which was walking distance from the parking lot (not the one originally planned). He opened doors for me which is good. I got to see the inside of his house as I needed to go to the washroom when we were picking up the tires.
So some things I came to know about him:
-When dating he is looking for long term as in marriage etc. He is not looking to date indefinitely and so if he thinks anything is not working out, he will be upfront and expects the same of the girl too. He said his “courtship” would be short.
-He was in a “common-law” relationship with a girl 6 years ago where they lived together for 4 years. She was a supply teacher first and then when she got a full time permanent job, her attitude changed he said. She started drinking and becoming very sourly towards work even things which he thought that her supervisors were right about. He was planning to propose to her but then decided not to and they broke up.
-He was dating a girl for 4 months this summer. Everything seemed fine when they were together but whenever he had to travel, going for his marathons or meet his family, she used to bombard him with emails/messages asking him what he was doing every moment, whether he was being truthful etc. He couldn’t take this drama anymore and he also came to know that she was on medication for anxiety. They used to break up and make up. The last time they broke up he did not want to make up anymore. He was done!!
-He has a dog which he claims to be well behaved. The dog did not attack me or anything when I went to his place but I saw that he has chewed thru the drywall of his front door and he has build a little fence so that the dog cannot get near the front door because of this and he is chewing thru the fence now.
-He is quite handy and likes to do things if he can.
-He is quite knowledgeable and well informed.

He did ask me when he was changing the tire if I had gone on any dates where the guy was changing tires and I said no but its good to have new experiences. So I guess this was a date ??? When ending the date, he walked me to the car. And then we hugged and he said see you at the Halloween party. Now thinking about it I said yes see you there and gave him a hug and said bye. I forgot to thank him!!! LOL He hasn’t sent a message to me, should I send him a message thanking him as I didn’t do it??

We were talking about dating and some of the “rules” he told me that he was told for guys were:
-When you get a girl’s number wait for three days before calling/messaging her
-Even if you are interested, act as if you are not because u don’t want to scare the girl away.

So girls what do you think? I would like to meet him again and get to know him better. I am not that into him that I am going to bombard/stalk him. But then again I have never really been into a guy for me to do that except in school and even then I didn’t do that except once where it backfired and I have never done that again. Learnt my lesson!! I would like to get to know him better. So far the only thing I didn’t like was his dog … chewing thru drywall so not acceptable to me.

Maria – thoughts??

I would be meeting him for Halloween so I am thinking may be just say hi to him then and tell him that I liked our “unique date” the other day. And it was good to know how to change a tire at least in theory. I had mentioned during the date that I have never changed a tire and I have always gotten road side assist to do it for me.

I usually go by the one text/message – one reply rule. But I really don’t know how to play this one. We were also talking in the car about the “rules of dating” as I was telling him how different it is over her as compared to India. And he was saying that with regards to physical aspect, different girls were different. Some girls get physical on the 1st date, some girls only after 3rd date, some girls only let you kiss them after the 3rd date, some take much longer to get physical. But he doesn’t believe in good girls or bad girls and then we both made a joke about “Good girls are bad girls who haven’t been caught”.

I never really spoke to him about how I do things .. may be he was trying to find out IDK. He did ask me if my family would be ok with me dating someone who wasn’t my ethnicity and I was like yes, for them the guy needs to be a good person, ethnicity does not matter.

Ha Harley, no crystal ball right now, your trip is too close for that. It’s better if you “go into it” with a totally blank and open mind that is not influenced by anything…

Sherri, he seems very open and straight forward and I like that. I also like that he’s handy, knowledgeable and well informed… and his version of the “guy rules” seems OK/harmless. I too wouldn’t be thrilled about the dog though… but if that’s his only “fault” it’s nothing really…

Like Harley said either thank him for your date on Halloween or send him a short text before. There’s nothing wrong with being appreciative, responsive and polite.

Then just relax, have fun and find out if you are compatible or not. Let him lead, but show interest and encourage him (IF you feel genuine interest)…

Judging by what he said, I think you gave him the answers he wanted to hear… and if not… well, it doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is that you were honest and true to yourself…

Huzzah

Sherri
Maria asked me to share what I sent to J about fear and healthy relationships. I told him how much it resonated with what we had.

Thanks, Celeste! Yes, we should accept our partner’s faults and imperfections, and even embrace them, without fear… This differs hugely from person to person though… some people are just soo easy to be with, whereas others are more complicated (and annoying). IMO it’s not really about fear, it’s about what’s acceptable or not and what you feel comfortable and at ease with…

Harley my girl, have only one thing in mind – to have super fun…

Frank, you have 2 options – depending on his actions (or lack of actions) – either screw him or screw him…

Mathilde, does she know F? Can she give you some inside info about him?

I’m sure there will be treats… if Frank will be part of them is yet to be seen though…

I too love airports… there’s just something about them that makes people loosen up… I don’t know how many times I have been on a plane and had unknown people tell me all kinds of stuff about themselves… and sometimes I think the check in people play match makers and put you in a chair next to someone they think you are a good match with… somehow I always get guys my age as chair mates and never girls/ladies, much older men or children…

Your tangerine top sounds like a statement… and a good way to boost your fun fearless female-diva mode… you go girl!!!

If I may ask, where in Germany will you be staying (in what city)?

Enjoy Harley … take lots of pics and post on FB

I sent the text yesterday thanking him. He came back saying that he enjoyed the date too. But then he said that he has something personal going on right now which does not allow him to become romantically involved with someone. He will talk more on this when we meet for the Halloween party. So I guess he is off the roster for now. Don’t have anyone else on that roster right now but I am actually fine with it. My craze for dating I find has cooled down a bit.

This weekend I am meeting FWB on Friday afternoon, Halloween party on Friday evening. I am going to my aunt’s place on Saturday morning as I have some of my stuff there which I want to sort out and its a good time as I don’t have the kids. One of my meet up groups is going for a dance and if I feel like it, I will join them. One of my good friends is going to be at that dance too with her bf. I am working Sunday afternoon. So planning to have a relaxing Sunday evening at home. Lets see how it pans out …..