Nothing ever happens

OHH KAT.. rough one ! Yep.. it comes to choices. I don’t believe you can keep sitting on the fence. Maria’s advice is spot on.

It appears part of your problems COULD be miscommmunication about wants and needs, IF he came home more, IF you paid him more attention.. COULD the love come back ???????

Lane recommended I get this book by John Grey. men are from mars, women are from venus. I found it really good.

Raven.. i mentioned that weeks ago on a thread. constant need to date/sex, i suggested just taking a break.

gotta crash. am OD’D on partying !

Raven …. I don’t understand

I spoke to my sister today. She did not know how much into crazyville I had been. I have become a bit calmer since I spoke to her. I am going to take deep breaths now. Yes, I will still message him next week about how he is but will try to stop driving.

I have that MMWV book, read it long ago and then recently. With all the knowledge that I now have, I think I can debate on a lot things it says :)

I am not sure how to explain that I do not ‘feel like’ doing anything about my marriage. But I do have a place in my for a romantic interest. If someone comes along who is in same situation as I am, I will be quite happy to stay under cover with him. I think I am challenging the whole marriage institution and the obligations it puts us under. I am really okay if my husband gets him a GF, as long as I am his wife and we as a family are not affected by it. Having said that, I am not looking. Most men want to sleep with married women without worrying about being exposed. I don’t think anyone ever considers the ‘hormones’ or ‘chemical reaction in your brain’ part in all the affairs & breakups. If you are the kind of person who enjoys sex, get the high from it then you should be able to do it with someone who feels the same as you and this does not has to your husband!! How can you expect one person to be ‘everything’ that you are or you want! Sex makes me more productive! When I am happy I want to do it, when I am feeling low I want to do it, when I can’t sleep I want to do it!! And last time I did was a month ago!!! And that was tooo cold!!!

I am just trying to say here that, I do not agree the way we are or our society wants us to be but I am within my limits so far and I do not have motivation to do anything about my marriage. I cannot imagine my husband spanking me :))

Harley, hope you are having a good time x

Kat – I think what you are describing is an open relationship. But even that is based on trust and mutual respect. As in both parties do not do anything behind the other person’s back. If you husband gets a gf, then you would know about her, be introduced to her etc. and she would KNOW that you are the wife and he is not looking for a replacement. If you get a bf, the same thing would occur. You would basically discuss with your husband as to what days you would be with your bf or he with his gf or any such thing.

Doing anything behind anyone’s back would lead to hurting the other in any relationship and I do not really think you are looking to hurt him.

Aww Harley I’m sorry to hear your sister trying to push you out… But, I am glad the house sale is coming along nicely. And, yes I will fry his brain, I just need to get over my generalized anxiety disorder.

Harley, the dog dude, perhaps he meant him and the dog (or him and his RSPCA mates) when he said “we”, not very likely but you never know, haha…

Great news about your house… it’ll be soo fun and interesting to follow your escapades when you get the keys, start the renovation etc…

Hope you get the “work experience” offer…

Cleo, you can be soo calm and cool at times, just try to apply that ALL the time… like Harl said, you can do it… and eat loads of fish oil, it has been proven to calm the brain…

Have a super nice weekend all !!!

OMG what a weekend!!!

So my older daughter went for a camp this weekend (her 1st overnight one) and mummy was a bit nervous :). Her dad reached her on Friday so I had the little one from Friday afternoon which was fine. We went for a baby shower on Saturday for my cousin’s wife. My LO got a fever there (around 39 degrees) and I was so stressed. I was also carpooling with my sister, aunt and cousin. And I was the driver. 2 hour drive one way …. Horrible weather …. I was so tired when I reached home. That baby is going to be so spoiled with so many clothes LOL

I went to pick up my daughter from camp and that’s when I came to know that she and the dad had gotten lost on Friday and so had reached late. That man is forever getting lost and doesn’t want to buy a GPS. Seriously!!! I also had to go for a Mass to enroll my daughter for Communion for this year. OMG what a weekend!!!

So I messaged 38 year old on Sunday evening and have not received any reply. So I guess he is off the roster. Funnily this whole week of no contact with him and a talk with my sister has made me accept this without much sadness. I guess I am just a little bit disappointed as I loved our conversations. But cest la vie I guess….

I was supposed to meet up with FWB today in the afternoon and go for a new meet up group this evening. FWB mentioned that he had some work this afternoon. So I cancelled today with him as I really want to try out this new meet up group. They seem interesting. We are meeting on Sunday for lunch with some of his friends and then back to my place. This guy is a real sweetheart.

I have scheduled a guy for a date this evening before the meet up group. I just want to see if there is anything there to go further else I can at least take him off my roster. He was originally supposed to meet me tomm. That will give me space to meet another guy who has been after me to meet him since 2 weeks now but our schedules have not permitted the meeting. But I will see how I feel tomm as I may just want a quiet night at home. He cancelled on me once because of work and so he is not my first priority when I have time. Does that mean I hold a grudge? ;)

What does legal ownership mean Harley?? Does it mean that you get the keys and live in the house now?

It means no one else can buy the house now but I do not get keys until the transfer of money goes through.

Celestial Celeste. ..hang in there. It’s rough I know but it just HAS to get better. A year ago I thought I won’t recover from my financial woes and look at me now.a house owner again. In 5 years I will have it looking gorgeous !
The beginning of a new era is ahead for you too…It just takes time to see it. I presume you gave written a list of the money you bring in, and then the outgoings , so you can see if you can tighten the belt anywhere .

Ann,

Thank you for your concern. I have my kids half the time and so do not go on dates at all when I have them.

I work, do housework, schedule time to go to the gym at least once a week if not more, try to see if I can meet up with friends if possible, try to see if I can have some alone time for myself to catch up on all the TV shows, schedule dates if I find the person interesting, try and talk to my FWNBs if we have not been able to meet, try and see if I can schedule FWB in this schedule too. Yep, life is busy.

When I recently separated and moved out, I did go into a dating frenzy. I have since this summer calmed down a bit. I realise that as previously if someone had to cancel I was upset as I did not have any other date scheduled. This time I actually say no and reschedule or something. I have not met two of my FWNBs since early September and both have been complaining to meet up. Lets see if I can meet one of them this weekend.

I have built up my self esteem in leaps and bounds and have made really great friends. This forum has helped quite a bit. I am even part of a meet up group where we provide support to each other who have been separated/divorced. I totally love them and try to see if I can attend all their meet ups – the monthly meet ups and the social ones. I have also received quite a bit of help from this group when there was leak in my basement. I currently have one of the guy’s dehumidifier in my place as well :D

On another note, last year’s Oct guy contacted me asking me out to one of the restaurants I had taken him when we were dating. I said sure and to let me know his schedule so that we can co-ordinate and go and try to make it there before Dec.

I am meeting my Mom’s group today – a group of ladies who all have kids my LO’s age. We try to meet up once a month but usually as the kids are with me, I have not been able to meet them. This Wednesday, my ex is taking the kids and so I am going to be able to meet them and I am so excited. All of them have either had babies or are now pg since I last met them. We are also meeting with the kids next month to celebrate Christmas. It is great to have such friends :)

Sherri….. cool. You definitely have things under control. I will go back to relying on YOU for your support of MY craziness.. :)

Last October Guy? The October Guy? What are you thinking that is about? Are you happy?