Nothing ever happens

Yea……. well he better hurry up or I’ll be a skeleton ! In mourning for a dead cock !

Well. ..Mike Y’s back to liking my posts on Fb..it’s coming g up to a year on Saturday since I got in touch with him and has just passed when he flew to Dublin 23 yrs ago..The pic is of the appt we used to live in together. ..so….pretty telling for him. We shall see if a message follows or not by weekend. I do t really care if one does but it WOULD be less awkward if he does NOT get in touch.. anyway….NO chance of me going backward ! then to cap it all, my German mate Ralf messaged me at the weekend ….but sent it by mistake to Frank as well. luckily. ..It was a hi…how are you doing message. of course I replied to Ralf privately. just another reminder I did not need. anyway. ..I’m Ok. just getting on with things.

hope you all doing good and parents, kids, siblings, partners keeping well.

Ha ha ha….good luck with the online. I’ve met every pervert going so far ! but…I guess it’s my profile….only myself to blame.

yes.. I AM handling things rather well. Mike is done and dusted and Frank is on the way. I think of him a lot but I distract myself and it’s getting better. am not settling for less.

glad to hear I is in touch.

Maria, I think that you will spot the losers right away. I don’t think it would be a disaster for you. You seem to have good guydar. haaa.

Thank you for the suggestions about my dad, and yes, they are figuring out a different way to go about getting the scans done. It’s very odd, in that he just seems to be fading away, like his body doesn’t want to function anymore, and he was always so active. It’s heartbreaking, but mostly because my mom is trying to be so brave. They’ve been married 56 years.

Normal Guy is so very, very attentive and wonderful. But I actually see a huge issue looming. He travels alllllllll the time for his work. He is back and forth some, and we seen each other, but come spring he will be gone for months at a time. I’m going to enjoy time with him now, but I just don’t see how this could logistically work. I’ve been in contact with a few other on-line guys and they are all sooooo typical. Either immediately veering off into sexual conversations, or just boring small talk. The ones that are boring I think are just as disenchanted with the online stuff as I am. Maria, I think you’ll have better luck because middle aged men, the age of the men I am dating, are all used up and spit out by other women…..they are all so jaded.

Anyway….I’m gonna enjoy my time with Normal Guy while I have it. :) Thank you everybody for the kind words about my dad. He’s still in the hospital btw. Its been about a month.

Maria,
I actually always tell people to put a very upbeat title.. but kind like yours! I agree with Ann you will be able to spot the creeps a mile away. It took me a few months but got really good and actually could spot the marrieds in a heart beat. I called one guy out who would only message me during work day. I fibbed and said, I think I worked with your “ex-wife” as your last name is very familiar. That was the last I heard from him lol.

Ann.. hate to hear about your dad. I am having that fading feeling with my mom and hate that they cannot do more for her. Sucky about Normal’s travelling. Must be tough. Ahh to be independently wealthy and be able to visit him during travels :)

Sherri.. sorry about your friend. I do not do grief well. I hide in my cave too.Good luck with the date Friday!

Harls.. damn girl.. wish I could come over there and hug you. You deserve a man with a heart as big as yours.

Interesting day yesterday. Was not feeling it when in office because a lot of things were reminding me of her. But when I got out it felt better. M asked if we could meet for lunch and I said I was busy but if he were up for it we could meet at 4 pm for about 45 min. He was ok with that. We went for a nice walk and talk and we kissed at the end. It was a really nice kiss and he tastes really good :D

I met FWB at 5 for a movie as he couldn’t come over and I have my periods. We have not gone out on a date in like 2 months so that was a nice outing.

I am meeting M today again for about 45 min in his lunch break as I have to go for winter coat shopping later and then pick up my daughter. Don’t really know where this is headed but I am going with the flow. He has said he is looking to date for a relationship but lets see if he means it. He does find me very attractive and keeps complimenting me. I am waiting to see what he wants to do tomorrow. That will make it or break it for me I think.

This Saturday I am going for a fundraiser dance which my friend is organizing for her friend’s son. Read about this child at h t t p s ://www.facebook.com/pages/LUCA-Gennuso-Donation-PAGE/325533227615504?fref=ts

I guess I will have to start cooking again but feeling lazy to do it. Well today evening it is canned soup for everyone :D

Hello there gals….had a little ‘ah ha!’ moment about myself last night.

Things are still moving at a snail’s pace with my guy, but I finally realized that the subconscious reason I am not freaking out about how little actual time we spend together is b/c I think I am still a bit emotionally unavailable myself. Because of everything else going on in his life (still), I think he is a bit too….so what could I possibly expect? lol

After the betrayal in my marriage, and two subsequent relationships where I ‘opened up’ not working, I think that portion of my head is still in repair. Not grieving over them anymore, but I am not 100% open to becoming totally vulnerable again. I’m sure it has something to do with HIS mindset too, as I think if he was available to spend time together, I might “loosen up” a bit emotionally. I had started to do that when we first started dating, but I reigned it back in due to all the little speed bumps along the way.

I guess I am content with the way things are now. I know he loves me, I am secure in the fact that he does see a future with me, and vice versa, we ARE exclusive with each other…so whatever. If one day I have an epiphany where my heart and head suddenly open wide (lol), the I’ll deal with it. I guess where I find myself feeling antsy is b/c I compared THIS with what I had with those other two men that I had relationships with, where we saw each other a lot, talked everyday, texted all day long, blah blah blah. This ISN’T that, and that’s fine. I don’t feel that I NEED that anymore. Truth be told, I haven’t shared my personal space with someone else in 6 years, other than an occasional sleepover. If I go toooooooo much longer though, I might NEVER want to co-habitate with someone again, so I hope this doesn’t go on past my expiration date. ;)

Ultimately, I absolutely would like to get remarried, but I will make SURE that it’s the right person for me. And I might not have as much “time” as he does, as I’m 40 and he’s 31, if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. I know that I’ll be fine. It’ll suck, as we’ve put a year into this crazy ride…..but life goes on. And so will I. :)

Love and hugs to y’all…and Happy Thanksgiving a day early.

Phoebe, I, too, have realized I end up with unavailable men because I actually am not so available either. I end up caretaking, and being distracted, and avoid working on my own stuff. This was a revelation only brought on by my Gambler Guy experience.

Some of the advisors on here say things like….let it grow organically, don’t force anything, see where it takes you…and I think those words are very wise.

Sherri…yes, no bio clock ticking for me, thankfully. Otherwise I KNOW I would be handling this differently.
And b/c he already has a young child, and he’s content with that, I don’t have to worry about not being able to give him children. Before the surprise of that was dropped on me last year, that was a “fear”in my mind.

Anne….I have given up the care giving and all that stuff, as I TOTALLY did that in my marriage and the last two relationships. I gave WAY more than I received, and what I gave was not appreciated fully. It’s a different kind of unavailability now, but it’s not a permanent one. At least, I don’t think it is. I HOPE it isn’t. lol

My dear Harley!!! xoxoxo

That’s part of my thing too. I always did most things by myself even when I was married, but after the separation, it was me and our three kids. So it was ALL me, ALL the time. So yeah, you get used to being independent. My one boyfriend (the last one) used to get upset with me when he offered to help with something, and I was all, “No, I got it.” He hated how I would never ask for help, even if it was obvious I needed it.
There is a time and place for vulnerability. We just need to learn to find the right place…and right TIME to let it come through.

It’s a learning curve. You are NOT a gobshite.

I am so going to use that phrase now. ;)

I hate dating. And I hate online dating even worse. Hate hate hate hate.

I try and think that good things come to those who wait. Some of us just have to wait way longer than we deserve to.