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November 28, 2014 at 2:26 pm #379134Sherri
I am on OKC and totally love it. I found all my FWNBs there and the guys I have dated there too. Funnily however, I get msgs from crazies but not much which is good and I just delete them. If the message is too crazy then I block them. I only had one encounter online where the guy started swearing at me when I refused to give my number to him when he told me he wanted it for his brother. Till then he seems normal. U want my number for ur brother??? Seriously?? Then ask him to join the site. I don’t need any middlemen here. I mean what the hell are you thinking? And then u think swearing at me is going to get me to give u my number faster?? I reported him. Don’t know what happened after that. But his attitude after he asked for my number was like I am doing you a favour. Not many guys out there who want single moms. Really?? I don’t need such favours thank you. And I definitely don’t need such guys who have that huge an attitude and no manners whatsoever!!!
Cleo – please do not delete my profile ;D
November 29, 2014 at 10:35 am #379240Ann
Cleo….what’s a moderator on OKCupid?
Sherri……give some quotes or something from your profiles. What words do you use to attract good guys?
Ugh….. I have to admit, I’m sad today. Normal Guy is/was really fun. But he is going to be 1,000 miles away for at least a year. We are both fading, but I am really fighting the urge to contact him. He isn’t contacting me at this point, so I know I need to not contact him too. UGH……. It’s hard for me though….so give me strength.
I’m just not going to date at all right now. I want to focus on my dad. But there are still many emotions churning around in me, leftover from Gambler Guy too. I need to deal with it all. My FWNB was going to come over today to shampoo my carpets, but I was booked with other stuff to do. That bummed me out too. It’s just one of those days!!
Give me strength guys.
November 29, 2014 at 10:44 am #379242Ann
So…I just spilled a 30 oz. cup of coffee all over my desk. AWHHEHEHEHEHEH
November 29, 2014 at 11:33 am #379247Harley
NO contacting him Ann…. you have to DECIDE do you want him in your life or not. It’s NOT FAIR to give him false hope………..we HATE when the guys do it to US !
Piano guy rang me again.. said he’d ring later. I’m not interested, but am having a good weekend of letting Frank go. LONG may it continue.
Thanks for the comments on my wreak of a house. I am delighted to have something to get my teeth into………..other than a man of course !
KEEP letting GG go !
November 29, 2014 at 11:47 am #379249Ann
I think what I am dealing with right now is the oxytocin crap..withdrawal. He is a really cool guy, and was pampering me to high heaven. I’m feeling sad about it all.
One step at a time.
November 29, 2014 at 11:48 am #379250Ann
Harley, your house has such potential. If you can control water leaks and such, it would be fun to “camp” there when the weather gets warm. Demolition is my specialty. I love to rip out walls and such. Sigh. I wish Ireland wasn’t an ocean away.
November 29, 2014 at 12:09 pm #379257Ann
Harley, today, missing him, I have this thought that I could try the long distance thing, he seems to be that special. But, that is just the withdrawal talking. In my heart of hearts, I know he wouldn’t be able to do it for any length of time, and it would be unsatisfying for me too. It just sucks. BUT, like I say, right now in this moment, I yearn for it.
November 29, 2014 at 12:49 pm #379268Harley
I wish you lived here too……… I need LOTS of help and NO money to do anything ! Yes.. I will camp out… clean chimney, light a fire. No ripping down walls… 3 ft thick !.. too much hassle and house would not sell for a higher price, if I sell in years to come.
LONGTERM…….. it’s fairer to let him go I think, I KNOW it sucks. Life is sooo unfair. You sound like you really do not want to do LDR, so make it easier on yourself /him now. Be honest and direct with him. HE MAY already sense something is up. I HATED having to push F for an answer. IF he had s p e l l e d it out earlier.. bluntly, instead of the odd reply to me ( politeness only as you told me a while back………..I should have believed it !!!), I might have moved on sooner, instead of only now.
November 29, 2014 at 1:42 pm #379288maria
90 % old, fat and bald !!! ??? Thanks for that very important info buttercup… now I’m even less motivated… I’m kidding, I’ll just ignore that category… or put health and fitness as my main (or only?) interests… that should scare off at least half of them…
I’m having trouble focusing again though, and this time it’s not because the women are more attractive than the men… no, now I’m thinking why bother contacting new people you don’t know (or like), when you can contact people you already know and like…
Soo… I started googling/researching my ex (from four years ago). He’s very private so it’s not easy to find stuff about him… I couldn’t even find a pic… BUT I did find out that he’s not married, and he still lives in “our” apartment in NY… AND there are also five other addresses (in NY) listed under his name… I’m thinking this means that he now works in the real estate business (just like his dad)… and the thing is, the five addresses were not apartments but whole buildings… and if he owns those, well then he can only be described as FILTHY RICH… Hmm… perhaps I should send him a little message… probably not a chance in hell that he’s single though…
Cleo, yes, O is in a town five hours away working on his album…
Ann, I know exactly how you feel… even if a guy is GREAT, if he’s away a lot… it’s hard…
Harl, great to hear that things are starting to happen with the house… you should go on pof and look for guys in the area where your house is… Who knows, perhaps the place is thick with hotties…
Sherri and every/anyone else, yes, give us good quotes from your profiles please. And how many pics do you have in it? And what does your title/headline say?
November 29, 2014 at 1:47 pm #379292Harley
I made mine bullet points…. catchier, easier to read.
No liars.
No drama
No smokers.
I’ll rock your world if you rock mine( think thi gave them all the wrong idea)
Surprise me !
That type of stuff I said. I said I wanted to casually date………. think it attracted all the wrong types gain !
That’s funny re your ex !!
November 29, 2014 at 2:38 pm #379320maria
I thought the “I’ll rock your world if you rock mine” was cute… pervs can probably find something sexual in anything and everything though…
Using no is apparently not a good idea… but I too wanna overuse it… I think I’ll start with a really positive profile though, and then add “no BS” if I get a lot of it…
Hmm… yeah, it seems a lot of people read “casually dating” as “looking for a hookup”… “looking for a relationship” is probably better… at least when it comes to avoiding people who are looking for sex only…
November 29, 2014 at 3:48 pm #379330Sherri
I have a very short profile. It states that I’m shy at first but once I get to know U I can become loud n animated. That I have 2 small kids. That I’m old fashioned n sweet gestures go a long way. Looking for an equal partnership. To contact me if U R local n have a current pic. A small Para if my likes of movies, music n that I love dancing.
No negativity. About 7 picks in different poses. All pics are of neck n above. That’s it. I don’t attract a lot of messages even though there are on an average 50 people who visit my profile a week.
People who message me who R not in my distance criteria I just delete and don’t reply. Crazy sex or fwb messages I just delete. People who R too young, too short or whose profile I don’t like I just delete. I check it every day so that all unwanted messages R removed n it doesn’t become a chore.
I prefer to know n explain about myself to people who message me or whom I message. I send messages sometimes n just don’t wait to receive.
November 29, 2014 at 3:54 pm #379331Sherri
I don’t think I’m going to date M anymore. He’s fun to talk to so I will see if I just want him to be my chatting buddy. He’s not stepping up to meet except for the less than 1 hr meetings so not going to try to chase him. Right now don’t really have anyone on the roster whom I really want to date. Not sad as I never really bonded. Just talking was fun. Chat, meet up my guys sure. Nothing more. Missing fwbs kisses today n told him so.
Going dancing tonight with meet up friends.
November 30, 2014 at 3:08 am #379400maria
Thanks Sherri !
It’s a great help to hear about y’alls profiles. I like Harl’s idea with bullet points, and like both of you I’m gonna keep it short. There seems to be a difference in different sites – Pof, OKC etc. have shorter profiles in general, and the paid sites have some really looong books in them…
Soo, short and positive… yet, I’m gonna be clear with who I am and what I want. That’ll for sure scare off a lot of people, but who cares… or actuallly… that’s the point (to scare off the ones that are not a match). Ha, I have a feeling I too won’t attract a lot of messages… but again, who cares…
I totally agree with “I prefer to know n explain about myself to people who message me or whom I message”. And IMO it’s all about the pic(s) anyway – if you like what you see, it doesn’t matter if their profile is super short (as long as it’s not super weird), cause you’ll message them anyway… to find out more about them…
Hope you had fun dancing…
November 30, 2014 at 5:17 am #379413Harley
Have fun fishing Maria.
Piano guy is still phoning…………..keep missing each other. He says he has a “dulcet” voice……………I decided it;s………….creepy ! Always the ons you don’t want !
My house pics are up on FB if you want to look ! I will get better pics !
Having a good morning……..making improvements on getting over him.
November 30, 2014 at 6:34 am #379422buttercup
I used to get a lot of messages on Pof. The one thing guys said that really stood out, was that they like my profile as it was different to the majority of other women’s. I used to ask ‘in what way’? I was curious to what other women put, to make mine stand out.
The answer? That I came across as really laid back and down to earth.
I asked what other women put. Many men said they were put off by women saying no liars, no cheats, no bullshit. It made the women come across as bitter towards men. Other women apparently state that the man must have a good job, his own car etc.
I always try to add some humour too.
And many men within two or three messages would say I had a wicked sense of humour. Another thing many men tell me, is that I’m really easy to talk to.
I know this to be true as I always seem to be the person men pull towards when they need to talk. From agony aunt, to just lifting someone’s spirits I seem to be the woman for the job!
Maria, in your profile just be honest and dont give too much away. Good luck.
November 30, 2014 at 2:27 pm #379536Cleo
Basically if anyone reports someone, I can delete their profile lol. But, someone has to report the profile first, and copy and paste what that person was saying if they were harassing the individual etc. Fake profiles, profiles with no pictures at all fall into that category too of being deleted. I don’t know how I even became a moderator they just made me one a couple years ago.
December 1, 2014 at 9:25 am #379765Sherri
So weekend was interesting …..
Went to a comedy club with my sister on Friday but so hated the acts. It was all about sex sex and sex. It became a bit tedious after a while and so not funny in anyway.
Slept in on Saturday and then went thru my whole closet and ironed a lot of outfits so that I don’t have to wonder what to wear in the morning. I now have lots of choice even among things that have to be ironed :D
Went for the dance on Saturday and it was fun fun fun. Danced a lot. Only my friends from the meet up came and it was good fun. Really enjoyed it.
Was feeling too lazy on Sunday but got myself up and went out in the afternoon. And then went to gym in the evening.
So all in all an interesting weekend.
M came back telling me about his workload which is quite a bit and so he has not really been able to meet. He asked me to be patient with him and that once some of his jobs get done (he said in a week) then he would have time to meet and take me out on dates. Lets see if he comes thru.
37 year old messaged me this weekend but he was working all weekend.
I got an interesting message last night online. That guy is a really good writer. And though he is not within my age range, he seems interesting enough to chat with. :)
December 1, 2014 at 10:23 am #379782Ann
I’ve gotten good feedback on mine too I think…it’s short, and I describe me, more than what my requirements are for the guy…..I’ve had several guys say that is refreshing, because they don’t feel like they are taking a college entrance exam. haaa. I say I’m easy to talk to.
BUT, I find that middle aged men on these sites are just messed up. I even made a fake profile one time, just for a day, pretending to be a 33 year old woman. It was soooooooooo much more fun. Guys haven’t lost their fire yet, they seem full of life. UGH.
SO, this weekend I had lots of heavy stuff to think about, including my dad, who is declining rapidly. I am going to be looking within now, for strength, happiness, peace. I just have to do it (should be doing) that way for a while, and dating can come in its own time.
December 1, 2014 at 10:47 am #379784Harley
Hugs Ann. ….spend as much time with dad. take time off work if you can….I did. never regretted it. You’ll never get this time back. say all you meant to day but never said. try to keep positive. He needs your strength now. lots of hugs.
I am good. quiet weekend. caught up with family. paid all the money for my house today so hope to get keys within 2 weeks.
December 1, 2014 at 10:54 am #379786celesteannv
Maria… here is my OKC profile. Sorry so long, but I also got good feedback from the non-tolls and actually met a few great guys before I started seeing J.
Upbeat, kind and funny (at least I think so ;)). Writing the next chapter in my adventure and seeking out leading man to join the storyline. Hoping to find a loyal, smart, kind equal to challenge me, keep me on my toes, but also be there for me when I stumble.
What I’m doing with my life
Seeking a work, fun, fitness and everything else balance. Hoping to do with the right someone – trail walks, hiking, bike rides together, travelling, movies, live music, fine dining to hole in the wall places with great food. Finding small joys in each day and living life to the fullest.I’m really good at
Making people laugh and feel at ease. Being able to talk to almost anyone, about almost anything. Remembering people’s favorite foods – don’t know why, but I do.The first things people usually notice about me
My smile, quirky sense of humor, my height, and that I am a font of useless movie knowledge. Have also been told that I do not look (or sometimes act :)) my age.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Love to read and typically have 2-3 books going at the same time. Suspense, mysteries, sci-fi, historical non-fiction. Recent reads, Your Inner Fish, Brilliant Blunders, and constant re-read – Conversations with God.Will give almost any movie a shot, and have no genres – except I usually do NOT like typical chick flicks – Special love for Trainspotting, Glengarry Glen Ross, Usual Suspects, Donnie Darko
Almost any :
Tarantino
HitchcockTV -Do not have much time to watch but when I do usually AMC original series, Jon Stewart, Colbert…
Music – Right up there with food and water. Too many artists, genres to list. About 4,000 songs in my library.
While I have no musical talent to speak of, I am so impressed by those who do and get out to watch live music performed when I can.Food – Love Mediterranean, Mexican, Indian, Thai, Italian – chocolate – duh… I’m a girl.
The six things I could never do without
My kids, my friends, music, books, great beer, and a strong hand to hold mine.I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where I will be and who I will be with in 10 years. I hope to travel more and try many more new things.On a typical Friday night I am
Nothing typical – hanging with my kid and a pizza. Having people over or out for dinner/ movie/ music/ with friends.The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m a sucker for smart, funny guys who can make me think and really laugh – like in middle school when milk shoots out your nose. But be wary.. I am pretty funny too , so maybe we shouldn’t drink milk.December 1, 2014 at 11:13 am #379794celesteannv
Sherri, busy girl! Good idea to keep an open mind with M AND Friend. You never know.
Harley.. the house is adorable.. exactly what I think of when I think of Ireland!
Cleo.. I reported a potential crazy once and think OKC made him take down his profile and he popped up two days later under another name. I just blocked him and had no more worries.
Ann.. You know how I feel. LDR is almost impossible and The stuff with our parents sucks. I was thinking of you yesterday. Hugs.
Busy holiday here. I am in a good place with work now and J and I are ok. I am just melancholy as I think we are both ready for the next phase of our relationship, but the realities of life.. his money issues and fear of being hurt like with his ex GF, my being on hold until kid graduates HS, my insecurities based on Ex H abuse and cheating, have us a bit stagnant. We act like a LTR couple, share everything but cannot live together. Think it hit me when J’s mom joked at Thanksgiving about a double wedding with a cousin of his – our age- who just got engaged.
December 1, 2014 at 11:48 am #379801Harley
AWW……….big hugs Celeste. I would rather HAVE what you have with J………..than nothing.I don’t know if that helps you..but perhaps it’s a little bit comforting.
Yes…………..I am happy about house.
December 1, 2014 at 11:56 am #379807Ann
Just heard my dad is being moved into the hospice process.
December 1, 2014 at 11:58 am #379809Harley
IS that GOOD or…….BAD ?????
Should I even ask ???
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