Nothing ever happens

Hello my darlings !

Thanks for all the profile info. It’s really helpful. I haven’t joined any site yet… but I will… soon :-D

BC, nos can definitely sound bitter… like if a guy writes no cheats, then to us (girls) he sounds damaged/bitter, right… BUT I ALSO think there’s a REASON why girls use no – cause 99% of the pervs on the sites are MEN (which those 800 messages you got proves)…

It’s also possible to use no in a funny non bitter way… for example no assclowns is far less bitter sounding than no cheats IMO… or if a guy writes no dimwits or no gold diggers… that too is more funny than bitter/negative…

Ann, messed up middle aged men on the dating sites… to some extent I think it has to do with the fact that there aren’t that many in that age group on the sites… if there were more of them, I’m sure there would be more good ones too…

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. My thougts are with you and your family. Hugs <3

Celeste, I loved your profile. I’d totally message you if I were a man. Like you I will go into (online) dating with ZERO expectations. I always do that though… it’s so rare for me to be attracted to someone, so when I am I’m basically more shocked and pleasantly surprised than anything else…

Harl, I checked out your house pics (via a friend’s FB), and OMG it’s not the house I thought it was. This house too looks like it has potential though. I’m looking forward to see more (step by step?) pics…

Sherri, I too love it when a guy is verbal/a good writer. A definite turn on IMO. Let us know how it develops…

Cleo, text P what Harl suggested… and… let us know how it develops…

It is and was disrespectful of him to try again and again when you removed his hands.

It is also disrespectful to sex talk with someone who’s not up for it.

It seems he doesn’t care about the signals/vibes you send out or he can’t read them… both alternatives are red flags IMO, and regardless of the reason for his behavior, he’s def a write off…

Hey Sherri – My opinion on M is this….if he’s going with the flow, and not really sure what he wants, but he knows he wants to get his hands on you – that alone should tell you he’s not invested in getting to know YOU. I’m sure that’s disappointing to hear, as it sounds as if he has ‘potential’…but we all know what a dreadful word that truly is. You either are or you’re not relationship material…potential won’t get you there.

Just my two cents

So he called me this morning and I was at work so couldn’t take his call. He messaged me saying how I am and I replied saying fine. He said when I would be able to talk. I told him that today was a really busy day for me and that we can talk after 8:30 pm today. What do I tell him girls?

I was thinking of telling him that I want back off the sex talk and if he is interested to just have platonic meetings to get to know each other. If he is not interested then I will tell him adios.

What do you think girls? Because I do think he is a nice guy just may be could not read the vibes right?

After yesterday I am definitely not interested in him as an FWB at all.

I think that’s more than fine! As a matter of fact, I had to have that same conversation with K (we have a date Friday). He was being flirty and said some sexually charged things. I let him know, gently, that I’m not in a place to have casual sex, but would love to spend more time getting to know him. That’s when he asked for a second date. Maybe he was gauging what I’m looking for, or just wanted to see if I would be playful, etc. Who knows…

YOU establish the boundaries. If when you see each other again he crosses those boundaries, especially after telling him it’s not what you want, THEN you cut him off.

Update about M:

Today I was really really busy at work. M called n I couldn’t take it so he left a message saying how I was doing n if I was mad at him n to call him back. He then sent me a text asking the same. I texted him saying I was really busy n would call him later in the evening. He then texted me himself saying that if I want he was ok to taking a step back n just being friends and hanging out without any sex stuff (I didn’t even have to bring it up). When I still didn’t call him as I was busy he messaged saying that he was going to be deleting the whatsapp app as he only chats with me on that.

When I finally called him at lunch I told him that I think his idea of taking a step back was good n fine with me. He asked me if I was upset yesterday to which I said yes. He asked me if he had made me cry to which I said no.

Also yesterday when we were talking I told him about a particular liquor bottle I had that I never opened bec I don’t drink it. He told me he loved that liquor. And as its not avbl in Canada was willing to buy it from me. So at the end of the conversation he said that he was still serious about buying that liquor from me.

Hmmm what do U think girls? One part is telling me he felt bad and wants to make it up to me. Another part is telling me that he’s only trying to be nice to get that liquor bottle LOL. I will know if he goes MIA after getting the bottle LOL

Sherri, he sounds a bit weird? If you are not 100% feeling it for him (which is what I get from your posts) then I would just ditch him and move on?

So I have a date tonight… it’s with a guy G I have known for a long time who has had serious relationships with two very close friends over the years and cheated on them both. I see him as a friend and nothing more, but he’s been asking me out since Feb saying can he take me out on a proper date. I have been tied up for the last 6 months so just a coincidence he tried again last week and I finally said yes. I am entirely using him for something to do and to get over my ex. I think if he even tries to touch me I will cringe!

There is also this other guy, D, who I met at the same time as my ex and dated 5 times at the beginning. I felt nothing for him, zero chemistry, despite him being “good on paper”. He has not given up asking me out over the last few months despite me telling him I’m not interested (IRONIC how the ones you don’t want continue to persist) but now that I am single I am considering giving him another chance. Perhaps my focus on the ex clouded my ability to feel chemistry for D? He is single and there is no history with mutual friends and he’s good looking and seems to like me. Would be nice if I could feel the thunderbolt for him!

Sass……… just go with the flow tonight. The reality IS…………..you are just doing it to pass time, and NOT think of ex. Anything else is a bonus. I have been doing the same. My heart is NOT at all in it………..but it sure does pass time and beats thinking about a guy that don’t want me.

Sass – I wouldn’t start anything with the guy tonight. Yep big RED FLAG that he couldn’t be faithful to either of the women he was with. The other guy, I would suggest date him and see. Don’t write him off right at the 1st date as u don’t know if its ur sadness from the old guy that is influencing what you are feeling.

Girls I’d like to hear your opinion…

On one site I’m thinking of joining they have this section where you state what (kind of men/people) you don’t like, and I was thinking of writing something like “I could write a long list here. But I won’t. I choose to ignore idiots. Or well, at least as long as they stay out of my face and space”…

I know it’s a little “tough cookie” sounding, but 1. it really is how I feel, and 2. I AM a tough cookie… and I see no reason to hide that. Plus it is written with irony (not sure if that comes across)… and I’m really sweet and deep in all (OK some) other sections…

What do you think? Be honest. I’d like to hear your opinion, even if I in the end will post what I feel like posting…

Maria: I wouldn’t put that down. I’m really sarcastic and no-nonsense too but fact is, even the good guys who can take tough girls try very hard to weed out the snarky/too-much-attitude ones; not because they can’t deal with them but because it’s not what’s going to appeal to them. They’ll deal with it if they like you enough.

Sherri: I’d say just stop seeing M altogether. Not because he’s a bad guy necessarily but because it’s so damn confusing and what’s the point if you’re not even all that into him? It’s so exhausting wasting energy on the men we do really like, why bother with the ones we haven’t even invested in and aren’t likely to want in the end?

Yep. ..bullet dodged Sass. try and pick yourself up and soldier on. LOTs of people are very sad this time of year for the reasons you say
we just have to suck it up and get on with it. Keep looking for a guy who does want you….Instead of one that doesn’t.