Nothing ever happens

Hi, I am hanging in there. I had a mortifying phone call with my mom today, I started to cry, wanting to be able to be off of work and be with them more. My job would be in jeopardy if I did that. I can’t believe I broke down with my mom, she’s the one who needs support. I feel, really, really weak in character or something.

My dad is mostly sleeping now. Many relatives are coming to visit, to see him one more time. It is very bittersweet. My cousin is coming in from out of state, him and my dad have a special relationship, so I am glad he will get to see my dad.

I think because I am tired and feeling the loss of my dad, the dating world weighs on me. I’m feeling alone, and the thought of navigating through it all, just makes my chest hurt. For now I am putting my energy towards family.

So sorry Ann, I think maybe your mom finds comfort in comforting you though, plus sometimes crying is unevitable. Tears release stress and also feelings… feelings that need to be felt for us to be able to heal bit by bit… it’s not weak to cry, it’s healing… and you can be strong and cry at the same time… Hugs to you and your family and keep us updated <3

I’ve been totally absorbed in online dating lately, and so far it’s… entertaining. Here are a few observations:

– I put up a “base” profile (just location, female, hight, blue eyes, blonde etc.) (no pics, no story about me or what I’m looking for)… and got winks… seriously, HOW desperate is that!!?

– I was thinking of sending a wink to a really cute guy (blonde, former model, now photographer, Australian), but then he made an “update” (he wrote an angry message in the what are you looking for section) saying “I get 500+ winks a day… please don’t contact me if you’re not in my league or insane… and put up clear pics in your profiles so I can see what you look like”… and that kind of made me change my mind lol

– About one in ten has a hidden profile, and now that I have completed my profile I get emails from some of those… saying “Hi, my name is… I work in this or that area, my net worth is 200 million dollars. I think your looks and my business skills would make a great combination”. Usually they are like 50 years old, 3 inches shorter than me and surprisingly often Chinese or Russian. I don’t answer… I’m sure they can live with that…

– Except for the Australian no one has caught my attention yet. I still have high hopes though…

– There are a lot of airheads in there. Aussie boy gets a lot of “You’re hot, please message me” comments. Seriously, I think they have to be a little more interesting than that to catch his attention.

– There are lots of good looking/smart women in there too though… I will definitely have to use my skills wisely when/if someone interesting appears…

It’ll be fun to see what happens next…

I love reading y’alls updates… I miss you and think about you when I’m not in here… I wish you all a great (hump) day <3

Ann – hugs to you.

Maria – it will be interesting to see the messages to ur profile when ur pic is up. May be do only a neck up pic. All my pics on my profile are neck up. I don’t get that many messages as I have clearly stated that I am not looking for pen pals and the person needs to have a pic and be in my local area. I still sometimes get messages of people outside my area to which I just delete them. No pics I just delete. Many people with no pics I have found out that they are married. Found it quite early on in online dating so now cannot be bothered with them.

My profile… I’m clear with who I am and what I’m looking for. I describe myself as “fun, fearless, feminine, strong, smart, sassy, verbal, grounded, confident, independent and a lot of other things”…

Then I talk briefly about my job, my interest in health and fitness, my spiritual side, my glamorous/more superficial side and my interest in communication and human relations…

and last I state that “I’m looking for someone who shares my interests and way of looking at life… someone balanced, drama free, honest and driven who knows how to communicate… and laugh and love and live”, and that “I’m also looking for attraction, chemistry and connection, cause in all honesty without it nothing will go nowhere”.

I say a few other more witty things too, but the above is the main story.

My pics… Yup, I agree, only neck and up. The thing is I can look very flirty/expressive in pics (and IRL), and if I on top of that put up pics of myself in revealing clothes/a bikini it becomes too much… plus I say “for me health and fitness is more than an interest, it’s a lifestyle”, so hopefully they can imagine what I look like…

Over to the guys…

– I got an email this morning from a hottie (he looks like Puck from Glee). On the plus side he’s really into health and fitness and seems down to earth, and he lives in New York… on the minus side he’s 5’9 and in his pics his house looks messy…

– I’m thinking of sending a wink to the Aussie and then (if he answers) ignore him. Moahaha…

– What is up with all these “Hi there!” (and nothing else) messages? Seriously, did I not say that “I’m looking for someone who knows how to communicate”!!? Sigh.

PS. Thank you so much for your kind words Celeste. You’re amazing too <3

I’m throwing myself into Tinder. Got three dates lined up. Each promising in their own way but like I have said before I need a thunderbolt of chemistry so you only know about that with a real life meeting.

I do have a concern though. Last time I did this (which got me involved with most recent guy for the last 6 months) I was 35.

Now I am 36. And there are A LOT less matches and contacts.

I think this is because the number 35 seems to be the natural upper limit for searches by guys around my age. Is it duplicitous to make my age 35 just to increase the number of possible matches? I’m only 36 and a half, it’s not like I’m saying I’m 5 years younger!

Thoughts??

Ha I thought I would get flamed for that suggestion! Will see if I can doctor my age on FB as that’s where it gets the info from!

I am such a horrible mother!!!! If I were my child I wouldn’t want me as a mother. I totally suck. I made my 3 year old cry last evening and then in the night and then again today morning. I have been praying to be a better mother. But stress just makes me a horrible person. I totally suck as a mother and a human being :(

I have been in tears almost all day today. I even spoke to my sister about what I did not my 3 year old and how I made her cry. I am going to have a talk with her and apologise. I also feel horrible as now a days my 3 year old wants to go to her dad’s place all the time so it makes me feel like even a worse mother. As if I was a better mother, she wouldn’t want to go to his place when it was my turn with the kids right?

Hmm… the “Hi, there!” (and nothing else) messages, I think it’s laziness and arrogance, BUT probably also fear of rejection… they think “I don’t wanna write a long letter and not get an answer”… problem is if they only write “Hi there!” chances are high/higher they won’t get an answer… sigh… men… not always that smart…

About age… I couldn’t care less if a guy lied about his age. If I like someone I like them regardless of how old they are. It’s probably a 50/50 chance that the person you meet will/won’t care… and it’s up to you if you wanna take that risk Sass…

Well said BC.i meant to reply Sherri but I got distracted. You’re a great mum. always thinking of them the love shows with all the pics on fb. you are just stressed .We all get like that with the kids.

I’m talking to an online guy. HOW do you get them to send a pic. I’ve asked for one. I told him direct. I want to see if attracted as I don’t wish to waste anyone’s time. I hope I do t sound so shallow and vain.

Great post Maria on the other horrid thread. I just can’t be bothering replying anymore.

Thanks Harl <3

I’d send another message Maria, laughing off the mistake!

I hate it when wrong things send.