Nothing ever happens

THAT’S the attitude Vi.

I thought that thread great.

Ad yes.. you willbe up and down for a while

I bet in mths.. the pics will have disappeared.

Block him from Fb. best thing Mike did to me..allowed me to heal. now he has unblocked me.. I never look. did once.. that was all that was needed. He “re-friended .. AGAIN” his ex.. was all I needed to see.

Serena, can you power walk? Walking is great IMO, and it gives you super nice and strong legs and butt… It’s actually good for your mood too, it is/can be meditative, and like running it releases happy hormones (endorphins) (and it burns about as much calories as running too)…

Vi, I actually do an amygdala healing (amygdala is, simplified, the emotional center of the brain). Basically, I focus the healing on the person’s head and let them talk about their feelings.

It’s kind of hard to do on yourself though, but there’s another amygdala healing that’s supposed to be effective – it’s really easy, you just sit down somewhere comfortable, like in a soft sofa, and cross your ankles, put your hands together (in your lap) like if you are praying, then straighten your little, index fingers and thumbs and hold them together (with your ring and middle fingers still “bent down”). Close your eyes and think about the emotion/feeling that is bothering you and imagine/feel it getting weaker and dissolving.

Do this every day for about 15 minutes. It’s supposed to deprogram and heal your amygdala. You can try it and see if it works, maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t…

Good morning my darlings, and happt Friday!

Vi, one thing you can try for better sleep is an acupressure mat. I know several people who swears it makes them fall asleep within 15 minutes (and as an extra plus acupressure mats make you release oxytocin and endorphins too)…

Serena, I’m usually not a fan of “diet pills”, but one thing you can try if you want to boost your diet a little extra is chilli. It has been proven effective in many studies and is good for you in many ways…

Harley, all that power walking you’re doing – you should be super proud of yourself! You go girl (literally)!

Sherri, I think you’re handling the break up just fine. The fact that he texted you and didn’t call was of course shit. Perhaps one day he’ll apologize and you’ll be friends… who knows… just set it aside and enjoy the upcoming helicopter tour and wedding… that sounds like A LOT OF FUN.

Happy Friday beautiful :)

Maria, that healing modality sounds really interesting. I actually found ana amazing talk on youtube last night, about how trauma surveyors basically get addicted to the brain chemicals that trauma creates, and as a result they keep seeking out bad situations in order to get the next chemical hit! It makes perfect sense. I transcribed a lot of it – will post it here.

I’ll look into acupresssure mats; that sounds good. Though weirdly, I have slept pretty well for the last two nights. Either my progesterone is kicking back in, or else the most recent shock has shaken things up.

Harley, It’s so weird… but since I wrote my last post here, I completely bounced back. I had a great day yesterday and feel really positive.

I remember feeling so upset, and then I stopped struggling with it, and just allowed it to wash over me. And then it disappeared…

Serena, you’re a sweet heart <3 I loved everything you wrote. He has completely fast-forwarded the girl into the relationship. Whenever they break up… be it months or years down the line, it won’t be pretty.

I need to reprogram me myself to believe that I deserve a loving relationship… because on a core level I’m hardwired to feel lonely and rejected. I need to change those feelings before I can create a healthy relationship, if that makes sense. I’m gonna post something below, which I found really interesting.

Back to diet: I always heard that it was 70% diet, 30% exercise too, but funny, my experience has been different. My weight would stay stable once I stuck around 2000 cals. I could eat 1,600 regularly and never lose any weight. It would take a severe deficit to make me lose (like 1,000 – which is obviously very unhealthy).

What HAS made me lose weight… is yoga. Cardio made me hungrier, lifting weights helped a bit, but a daily yoga practice (three vigorous sessions a week), plus being less sedentary in general have been the best things for me. I walk and cycle every day, and teaching yoga+ working in the studio keeps me moving as well. Moving consistently every day apparently keeps your metabolism going. I didn’t have that luxury when I was stuck at my ask, but now I’m rarely sitting for more than 2 hours as a time.

Maria’s right about the walking too – my older sister has an amazing body, and all she’s done for the last 10 years is power walking. She walks for an hour four nights a week.

I also think that there’s an emotional component to weight. When I got really sick with my hormonal imbalance two years ago I gained 20 lbs! Once I went on progesterone, the first 10 lbs melted off, then to took me another few months to lose the next 5, and I’ve kept bouncing within 5 lbs ever since.

Then, about a week ago, I suddenly lost weight. It literally came out of nowhere. I’m pretty much back to where I was before I got sick two years ago. I’m in good shape.

I sense that over the last six months, I’ve really been building myself up from the inside – getting stronger by doing yoga, eating well… and then once I was strong, the extra weight just slid off.

I think once you get yourself to a certain level of fitness, it’s easier to stay thin. That’s why my sis can walk and it keeps her looking amazing, whereas someone just starting out might take a long long time before four nights of walking a week is enough for them. IT was the same with me and my exercise regime.

Whoo hoo Harley! :) <3

This is the talk that I listened to. There’s another hour I need to get through, I will post it here once I listen if you guys are interested. Or I can send you the links. xx

At times of trauma, our emotional fears from long ago can be triggered. if we’ve known these fears before, we experience the fresh wound, AND the old wound.

Sensitive people who feel emotions POWERFULLY AND DEEPLY have significantly magnified emotional experiences. The same can be said for those individuals who had past experiences of trauma. The more emotionally charged we are, the more we create thoughts that go with our pain, and these thoughts create fear, dread and powerlessness.

The more disconnected we are from our own POWER, mindfulness, self reaisation, and self value, and dont do anything to stop the addictive cellular cycle, the easier it is for our emotional body to take control of our mind and our life.

This is why logic alone will not help you. Emotions are not tangible – they are energetic.

E-motion = energy in motion

It’s the energy of the emotion that created the peptide cycle, and the resulting physiological, psyhcological or compulsive addictive symtpoms.

Such as loss of life force, inability to function, PTS etc.

Talking creates more thoughts about the trauma, and more hardwiring of the additction.

Focusing on, talking about and intensely feeling the trauma keeps you stuck in the emtoinal, mental and physical symptoms of the trauma.

Their addcitive pain cycle has not been addressed and broken.

When you were narcissistically abused, you created masses of victim petides, then you got hooked on those peptides. You became that negative person on the path of emotional addiction, deterioration and self destruction.

If your emotional addcition to destructive peptides is significant enough, you may find it impossible to break your addiction, no matter what you think or how much advice you receive.

THere’s a connection between your emotional vibration and what occurs in your outer world.

You cant create a different experience regarding something, when inside you dont believe you have the ability to, or that you deserve it.

IF YOU ARE NOT VIBRATING AT THE KNOWING AND BELIEVING OF TRUE, HEALTHY, REAL LOVE, YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO ACHIEVE IT.

You cant get the position until you ARE positioned.

And you cant get anyone else to give you your qualifications. Because your qualifications (“vibration”) is your job.

I truly believe that our infinite inner self knows when we are not a match for what we want to create.

And if our inner identity is not a match, we feel needy, insecure and desperate. we try to get someone outside us to give us what we want, because instinctively we know we cant do it ourselves.

If you dont know or feel genuine love, you cant experience it.

It’s impossible to experience it unless your inner identity is a match for it.

The belief – which is the knowing and the feeling, MUST precded the creation.

To experience genuine love, your inner identity must believe you are worthy of it.

People in healthy relationships are the vibration of knowing and believing healthy and safe love.

“Logic” does not speak to your inner identity, because your inner identiry is the deep, unconscious part of yourself. Advice and factual information is mostly ineffectual.

Recognise this – your unconscious mnind is an incredibly powerful tool.

When beliefs are instillated at the unconscious level, the bodys DNA functions dont know the difference between real and imagined events. If the unconscious mind accepts a belief, it beceoes emotionally and physcaily real – no exception.

However – if you cannot believe in getting well, or you cant believe in healthy and fulfilling love for yourself, you cant and wont create it.

in trying to, you have to battle with your tortured self identity, which only believes the agonising stories it has previously accepted.

Teach your inner identity to let go of teh torutred beliefs, and gain the knowing of the experience you do want to have.

Trying to move on does not address the need to re-wire your brain neurons to heal the peptiide addiction. The re-wiring can only take place when you interrupt the cycle and replace it with a new healthuer one.

When you cry, you release pain and feel better. But if you didnt realise the reasons for the pain (which is the associated damaged inner identity belief systems), you will have to cry over and over again.

Your pain never went away because you only realised painful energy when it got too extreme, but you never healed the reasons for your pain.

But the reasons for your pain is what is causing your pain.

The steps to the energetic transofrmation of our inner identiry are this:

1) the recognition wthat the emotional pain is the symtpom of unhealed inner identity beliefs.

2) the acceptance that the outer siations or the person who triggered your pain in a catalyst bringing up for you what you needed to heal.

3) the embracing and being with the emotion in order to access the inner identity dysfucntions that require healing.

tbc…

Glad you enjoyed it Harley :)

It explained a lot to me too… lIke how I struggle to let go of things. Because I’m a victim of past trauma, “victimhood” is literally wired into me now, and I’m literally addicted to the chemicals that come with the experience of being a victim. I have been slowly changing this over the last few week – by holding back more in my interactions with people, being less vulnerable, and being less “nice”. The opposite advice to what’s usually given to people – LOL :D

OH.. I meant “YOU” when I said who started this thread. Go back and read your 1st post.. LOOK how far you have come. BELIEVE. TRUST. LIVE.

As for weight and diets, 3 main factors affect your weight – body type (genes), hormones and metabolism.

The most important hormone is insulin (it regulates your blood sugar). If you insulin is high it will lead to fat storage and difficulty to lose weight. A low balanced blood sugar gives you your best “base” to lose/not gain weight, and to keep it off. (It also naturally balances your other hormones, like estrogen, progesterone etc).

Low calorie/starvation diets screw up your metabolism (and your whole system), and you should therefore NEVER eat too little.

If you work out a lot and move consistently, it is extremely important to eat well and enough and make sure you get enough nutrition, protein and good fats, cause if you don’t, the work outs will break down, stress and harm your body (and mind) instead of buliding it up…

Do you feel that you have a balance in what you eat and in how much you work out Vi?

Hello lovelies,

Maria – thanks for suggesting power walking, I’ve looked it up just to see what it was about and I think it’s something I can definitely do. I’ve read so many people have lost weight doing this. At first I wasn’t sure if it was more like interval training like walk, walk faster, run, walk etc..but it’s an actual style of walking. Maria the vibrating plate that you do…is that at gym?

I’ve heard of chilli aiding in weight loss. I suppose it’s something else I could try. I do try and drink green tea and at least 2 litres of water daily.

Harley – I know you walk a lot too. I remember you told me ages ago. How is that going?
Also, did you hear back from your ‘flirt’ on POF ;)

Vi – I’m so glad you’re feeling better. You’ll bounce back to 100 per cent soon. :)

Wow, I’m surprised that all your sister did was walk. That’s amazing. I would like to lift weight but that will have to wait until I’m a bit stronger.
I tried hot yoga but it was too hot lol I know that sounds funny, but I couldn’t hack it – I felt like throwing up every time I went. I haven’t tried normal yoga but have tried pilates and didn’t lose anything but strengthened my core. I think everyone is different but the main thing I need to keep doing is to keep moving and do it consistently. I have tried to fix my diet but that also relates to my medical condition at the mo. I do watch my calorie intake and found it was working. I just feel a bit discouraged when I don’t see any results right away.

Vi, Harley pretty much said since you’re initial post you’ve shown so much growth in yourself and in the advice you give to others.

What are you ladies up to this weekend?

And, thank you girlies for all the advice and the chats. :) <3

POF guy did not flirt back… oh well.

I’ve resorted to looking at sheds for houses.. completely insane I am.. possible barn conversion type stuff… way out of my price range, but I can try to negotiate and I love building/decorating/recycling.

I used to save guys with problems.. now I stick to old furniture, materials( clothes/curtains). buildings and animals…MUCH safer ! AND.. keeps me out of trouble. Should be a 5 yr plan at least.. but I think I can’r affird it and the Planners will object to me changing it. … but…. I can try.

I can always stick a mobile home on it and become trailer trash !

Sister wreaking my head… so defo time to move soon.

otherwise.. all quiet and quiet weekend planned.

Hey ladies <3

Maria, yup – I have the right balance of eating enough and working out. To be honest, I just eat when I’m hungry – usually 3-5 times a day. What I’ve eaten hasn’t changed at all… and my exercise hasn’t changed at all, which is why the sudden weight loss is surprising, and why I’m sure it’s emotional. I think my body was ready to let it go.

So SOMETHING is happening with me on a cellular level… some inner transformation.

Serena, yeah hot yoga is NOT for everyone! If you want to use yoga for weight loss you’ll need to do one of the active styles, and do it at least three times a week. Ashtanga, Vinyasa Flow and Dynmaic are all great. Try Vinyasa Flow – it’s a bit more gentle than the other two but you still move a lot.

Harley, converting a barn sounds really cool!

To be honest… girls, I’m not doing so well these last few days. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not in a heap crying, but I connecting with some very deep pain inside me. I have realised that this isn’t about S at all… it never was.

I have a very deep wound within me… probably stemming back to the abuse. My core belief is that no one’s ever going to love me for who I am. That’s why I’ve been overly nice to people… I’m trying to “win” them… because I don’t believe I deserve unconditional love. This latest situation with S – seeing how he has given this girl what he refused me, is just validating that core belief that I’m not good enough to be loved, and that’s why it’s so painful. It’s not about him – he is triggering me.

And I have realised that until I believe I deserve to be loved, I will keep selecting men who reject me.

I’m not crying so much… I’m just deeply connecting and feeling the pain, instead of resisting it. I”m realising that resisting it intensifies it, and puts me into victim mode. So I’m hopefully shifting out of victim mode.

I’ve tried many, many things over the years, and I have made progress, but the deep wound is still there. I need to try something different. Talking doesn’t help – not in the long run. What do you guys think I should do?

Thanks again, for all your love. Hugs xxx

Harley,

Believe it or not… I started doing all those things 10 years ago. I was sick of myself, and knew I needed to change. And I’ve been fairly successful in creating a good life for myself… you can see on FB how much I have going on… and I love it; I’m blessed.

Setting boundaries and weeding out the negative people has been a very recent thing – but it makes a huge difference. Realising I should stop being so “nice” has been another big revelation, and is helping me a lot too.

But this is something else… it’s this deep, raw hole inside me… and it never goes away.

Funny thing is, that when I’m in a good head space, I know that the core beliefs it represents (I;m not good enough to be loved) are a lie. I can see that… But when I’m in the middle of the abyss, it becomes the only thing that’s true. I completely lose persecutive… it’s very strange.