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August 17, 2014 at 10:02 am #359857Harley
Hi Vi.. I’ve cut it out 99%. The odd week I’ll have a sandwich. Lots of people notice the difference in me.. it’s just going slow because I am not fanatically dieting… or so I tell myself. ha ha ha.
August 17, 2014 at 10:39 am #359869Serena
Good morning ladies,
Harley – all the best with the house hunting. I can understand why you need to move.
How long were you walking before you noticed a difference?Vi – I’m not sure what I can say but Harley is right it has come from within. I really believe it’s a mindset.
I know it’s easier said than done. But you have to believe you’re better and deserving. Perhaps talking about with someone else (i.e. a professional) is not what you need, bec at the end of day you’ve done it and they can only coach/help you so much. Remember you can control how you think and feel no one else can and when they can it’s bec you’ve given them that power over you.I used to be a ppl pleaser too and I’ve just realized I don’t need to be the right people will stick and the wrong ones won’t. That’s the way it should be, when you lose people in your life it’s not about what you’ve done or not, it’s more about you not being on the same paths and growing at different rates. Sometimes it is bec ppl are selfish beings. But when you don’t allow their actions /words to affect your moods you will be happier and you will feel strong and confident. But it is a mindset. You have the power to control your happiness. You have started to do it with setting boundaries and weeding out the negative people. Which is fantastic. With changing your mindset you will need to retrain your thoughts, every time you have a negative thought think of something positive about yourself.
There was a thread “Listen to Sabrina” the OP in that thread said she recited mantras to herself, she did things for herself – i.e.the red liptsick etc…
You can do this, I’ve said this before you are tremendously strong. Don’t limit yourself with your thoughts.
Big Hugs… :)
August 17, 2014 at 10:56 am #359872Harley
It ate my post. F**** IT !
lost a stone after 3 mths.. 4 mths later.. feels like I lost nothing…. but then i haven’t weighed myself. i used to be an european size 20.. now a 16, sometimes 14.
i cut out candy and drink and exercise.. just walk.
so 7 mths of work altogether. i feel better.. mental and physical, sinus not so bad, less red in the face.. no longer huff and puff when i climb hills !
Vi.. the Sabrina thread was great.. print it off for yourself
August 17, 2014 at 2:26 pm #359908maria
Hey darlings!
Serena, you can check out the home versions on (UK) Amazon. Each model has over a hundred reviews and people give really detailed storys on their experience of the product.
Girls night out usually means a pre pre party with girls only, a pre party with guys, clubbing, bathing (in the summer), after parties and breakfast… normally it ends 7-8-9 in the morning… yesterday was no exception and it was fun as always… I was flirting, but didn’t meet anyone extra special…I’m used to that though, and it doesn’t bother me or make the night any less fun…
Harley, I too love houses and building and decorating. I really hope you find your “dream project”, and I’m looking forward to hearing everything about it…
Oh, and another diet tips – never eat anything after 6 pm.
Vi, I’m so sorry for this pain you feel inside you…
These are my thoughts:
– Every single former anorexic has an essential fatty acid deficiency, and that deficiency affects your brain negatively. Please restore your essential fatty acid balance. Please heal and nourish your brain. I’m not saying eat high fat, I’m saying former anorexics should NOT eat low fat.
As a nutritionist I’d recommend you eat at least 15 ml butter and 15 ml coconut oil every day and omega 3 (Efalex, which is specially designed to balance your brain), and GLA capsules (for hormonal balance).
– Take something that helps you sleep. Sleeping well is essential to all recovery and healing, physical as well as psycological/mental.
– Please check out the book I was talking about – The Healing Code – it’s about re and de programming your brain and healing your emotions (without talking about them). I’m not saying it will heal every single person with emotional problems, but (IMO), in your case it is certainly worth a try. I mean it will not make you worse so you have nothing to lose by trying…
August 17, 2014 at 4:29 pm #359921Violet
Hey girls,
Thanks for all the advice <3 I actually had a really good day. My yoga workshop was packed, and then I went to a lovely class. I feel great :)
Partially because I am starting to understand what’s going on with me internally. I have this gaping wound that screams for love… and it makes me feel needy and desperate. Instead of trying to vent it away, through crying, or talking… I need to love it. Maria said that on page 2 or something, lol :D I know it sounds strange… but I didn’t understand HOW to love myself. I think I’m getting it now.
Harley, you’re correct NOT to frantically diet. 90% of people who do that put the weight back on within a year.
Would you consider adding a day of different exercise into your regime? Sometimes you just need to change things up a little to break through a plateau. I’d recommend lifting some weights, or doing body weight exercises, if you haven’t tried that before.
Serena… Thanks hon <3 I agree 100% with everything you said. I think what I need to do is a mix of reprogramming my thoughts (to ones of trusting that things are going to be okay), and channeling tons of love into myself, instead of trying to escape myself.
Also, you’ve mentioned a few times that you have a health problem.. is this something you’d like to talk about? Let me know if you do :) I understand what it’s like to be sick.
I saw a quote today – “Whatever feeds your soul – do that.” It’s a good mental image to have… of how the soul lives on love, and we need to do what we love, with love.
Maria, that sounds like an awesome night out! Makes me miss being 26, lol :) Funny how your interests change so much in such a few short years. Do you have a big groups of friends that go out, or do you meet new people each week?
Thanks for the advice :) I was actually never anorexic… I went through bouts of being underweight, but my eating disorder was binge eating disorder… sometimes I would be bulimic. WHen I started the Ray Peat diet, I stopped binging. it was bizarre. I’ve heard some people have that experience when they go on high fat diets too.
I’m actually not technically low fat either. I’m probably 25:30:35 (F:P:C) – higher fat than what RP advices, but I just eat what macros I want these days. And my diet is really nutrient dense – lots of shellfish, beef, potatoes, fruit, cheese, maple syrup etc.
Weirdly, in the last five days, I started sleeping properly again, after two months of insomnia. Like I said… I think something is shifting with me on a cellular level.
I will order that book now – thank you for the recom! xx
August 17, 2014 at 4:55 pm #359925Harley
Hi Vi.. I’ve broken discs in my back… so limited to exercise, Also.. refuse to spend money on a gym membership. I MAY consider going swimming again.. time is a factor these days..the usual excuse !
Glad to hear you feeling better. Keep up the good work and self improvement.
My laugh of the day.. Mike is on a group website I am on, on Fb… He is calling the ex GF again and has used the photo I took of him and a mate 23 yrs ago as his new profile pic. Hilarious. I am soooo over him. it just reaffirms what an ass he is. He was on and off with her the whole time I bet. not that it matters.
August 17, 2014 at 5:22 pm #359932Violet
Swimming is great. I found I had to go every day for it to make a difference to my body though… Sorry to hear about your dics! That’s limiting for sure.
You know… I had this realisation today. It doesn’t matter what these guys do – it’s just their nature. It has nothing to do with us.
Btw, are you staying in Dundalk, or thinking of moving to Dublin?
I’m going to start listening to the Secret Cd as I go to sleep from now on… lol :D
August 17, 2014 at 6:29 pm #359948Serena
Harley – that’s amazing, I’m sure you look great. I too have cut out sweets and other things too.
Keep us posted on the house hunt and if you decide on the barn conversion.
Glad to hear you’re over Mike.Maria – I’ll definitely check it out, once I’ve tried it myself. Thanks for the tips.
Your girls night out sounds fantastic, I feel like I’m getting old wouldn’t be able to last till 7-8 in the morning, long gone are those days. lolI’ve heard the never eat anything after 6 but wasn’t sure if that really worked, then have heard you can eat as long as you don’t east 90 mins before bed.
I’m trying the coconut oil thing daily and I have a krill oil cap for the omega 3.
Vi- glad to hear today was a good day. I don’t mind sharing the med issue just not on a public forum. Btw I love the quote.
Can someone explain to me how macros work? I keep hearing the term…and it’s on my fitness pal but I don’t quite understand how to apply it.
So I have a mini date on dude…so I mentioned we’ve texted here and there and I don’t mind the odd chat. It’s no big deal. However, today’s chat involved me telling him what douche he’s been and how I hated how he treated me and how a man doesn’t treat a women who he’s supposed to care about that way. I said in all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never apologized to me for any hurtful words/actions.I basically said we’re not compatible and we don’t seem to understand one another. This came out because he said something about the fact that next week he was going to come and visit. And I said how you never once said that to me. He said in a few months, but never a specific date or month and made some comment about me. So that’s when I thought he never really got to hear why I was mad or walked away and this was my opportunity bec he brought it up in a way. He did apologize but then again I have no idea if anything I said resonated. And in all honesty it shouldn’t matter to me if he gets it or not, I’ve said I’m good with what I said and it’s up to him to process or not. I think he wants to be friends, and I said why you never seemed to care about me and he said I did and I do I’m talking to you now and I wished you a happy bday. Anyway ladies I know I shouldn’t have engaged but in the past I would always feel a bit bad about our arguments discussions but this time I don’t. Not at all. Just thought I’d provide an update.
August 17, 2014 at 6:32 pm #359949Serena
Sorry that should read mini update not mini date…there are other typos probably but you ladies know what I mean. Hehe
August 18, 2014 at 3:20 am #359977Harley
Hi all, glad overall we are all dioing well.
Vi.. am thinking of moving to the wilds of .. wait for it.. CAVAN. Lots cheaper housing, still commutable to Dundalk, or I can see about transferrng the job.
Told German mates I’m going back to Germany end Oct/start Nov. so the dye is cast now. Interestingly Frank has been looking at my message again( my messanger app tells me).. so I guess he is wondering !
Sister and son wreaked my head arguing yesterday so I am defo( definately) moving by Xmas !
Serena.. I have NO idea how ANY diet works. Good news with your guy.. will be interesting to SEE if he ACTUALLY visits.. blowing hot air again I think to reel you in, you sound MUCH stronger now.
August 18, 2014 at 3:50 am #359984maria
Hello girls and good morning!!!
Yes Vi, we’re a group of friends that go out (and do other things) together, and when we’re out I/we meet/see a lot of friends of friends and other “acquaintances”. I also talk to/meet new people though. I’m totally open to that…
It’s great that you’ve overcome your eating disorder… and that you’re sleeping better and are feeling better in general… some sort of change is definitely going on…
Serena, good for you for speaking your mind… sometimes that is necessary for good closure…
Another thing you (and you too, Harley) can try when you find it hard to lose weight is to alternate between a normal good diet and a more strict one. Like eat strict for 3-7 days and normal for 3-7 days. If you do that you won’t screw up/slow down your metabolism (it actually boosts your metabolism).
Krill is an excellent omega 3 choice. I actually eat it myself (krill and salmon oil).
Macro is short for macronutrients – protein, carbs and fat. You want to have a good balance between them/a balance that works for you/your goals.
August 18, 2014 at 4:12 am #359987Harley
Thanks for the tips Maria, must try them !
August 18, 2014 at 9:05 am #360006Serena
Good morning lovely ladies,
How are you all doing?
Harl-bless you, I don’t think his message was bec he’s actually coming it was more to get a reaction from me as to how I may feel about him. Rather than him trying to just ask outright he is hinting to get a response. (Remember when he texts I don’t mind the odd chat but my responses are not very emotional) Again I’m not angry about the convo at all…but I did basically tell him what I thought about him and about the situation, only bec he eluded to things. He didn’t fight me back as much as usual. I won’t worry about it. I said what I had to and I don’t hate him. It is what it is. I have no regrets and no heartache…so it’s all good. :)
You’re going back to Germany? What made you decide to do that?
I think you need to move if it’s affecting your sanity to be living there with them. I hope you find something soon. Sending you positive energy.
Maria – I felt ok about saying what I needed. I vowed that I wasn’t going to bring it up and say anything until he did and he did so I got my op to say what needed to be said. I tried not to be critical and just base it on fact but sometimes he says things I have to say something a bit critical for him to get it. At one point I said it takes two for everything to fight and to make things right. He claims he did call me and I wouldn’t accept that bec I know he didn’t. He seemed to want peace and not to fight. So I left it alone after I said what needed to be said.
When you say strict diet, what do you mean can you give me an example of what you consider strict? and what you consider normal? I.e. I don’t eat wheat so can provide an example? I’m trying to see if this is feasible for me.
Ok so the macros thing makes sense to me now. I have it on my FitnessPal and it said I need to 50 per cent carbs, 20 per cent protein and 30 per cent fats. I try and have them align but it’s difficult and I didn’t quite get if it’s not aligned what does it mean…that I’m not optimally burning or losing?
Thanks again for sharing your knowledge.
August 18, 2014 at 9:18 am #360008Harley
Hi Serena, glad to hear it’s all good re the ex..I bet he’ll start chasing a bit more ! serves him right!
Last time I was in Germany, I missed seeing 2 mates. Shortly after I returned, the girl invited me back ans to stay with her.. .so I said yes. I woudl liek to sea town festiaval( bierfest) before they end for the year so teh last one is Oct.. but it may be too faer away.
The other guy I did not se.. I told him I would return, knowing FULL well, Frank will see the post. Frank’s matea lso asked me to stay with him, so I think I WILL GO AND STAY WITH MY GIRL MATE FOR A FEW DAYS, THEN FRANK’S/MY MATE.
If Frank avoids me, I have my answer and I can plug his/my mate about what Frank’s REALLY like 1 Romeo or not !
I’m quite devious when I apply myself ! AND.. I get to see my mates and something of Germany. So.. even if Frank avoids.. it’s a win win.
NOW.. I have to jsut figure how to get out of the FWB box and INTO the GF box !
I have a STUNNING red fishtail dress I just bought that would LOVE to see an evening party in a german castle !!!
ANY TIPS ?????
Vi.. how long did it take your stomach to flatten with swimming ???? You went each day , how many laps ???
August 18, 2014 at 12:21 pm #360065maria
Serena, if you’re not aligned it means that what you actually eat does not equal 50carbs/30protein/20fat.
I consider 2000 calories normal, 17-1800 “dieting” and 14-1500 “strict dieting”.
An example of strict 50/30/20 would be:
Breakfast – a smoothie made with coconut milk, 1 banana, 1/2 lemon and spirulina.
Lunch – grilled chicken, rice, some vegetables 10 ml butter.
Dinner – tuna, potatoes, tomatoes, onions and 10 ml olive oil.
And an example of 20/35/45 would be:
Breakfast – a smoothie made of coconut milk, 15 ml coconut oil, 1 apple, 1/2 lemon and spirulina.
Lunch – grilled chicken, vegetables, 15 ml butter and cottage cheese.
Dinner – tuna, tomatoes, olives, onions, 15 ml olive oil and feta cheese.
The carbs/protein/fat percentage and amount of calories depends on how MUCH/LITTLE you eat of everything, so it’s rally hard to determind the exact amount of percentage/calories…
I hope that was of some help…
Harley, Octoberfest sounds great, but lederhosen is probably more right for that than a little red dress… perhaps the dress was for some other occasion though!!?
August 18, 2014 at 12:30 pm #360067Harley
Great menu’s Maria. yep.. dress for a special party ( I can hope and dream !) or weddings next year in Ireland. It’s the type of dress I’d like a good looking man to see though and me to be on his arm !
more screaming and shouting in our house today. BIG SIGH. GREAT FUN. My head is sore !
Still.. it has to get better.. Or I can go to the pub !!!!
August 18, 2014 at 12:57 pm #360078maria
Ah, OK… there truly is something special about a red dress… makes men mad…
You can wear it on NYE if not in Germany/at the weddings. One simply can’t be too dressed up on NYE…
What the hell are they screaming about??? Perhaps we should sort THEM out!!!
You should own and manage a pub. It’d be a success, with your personality… you’d make millions… Ha, that’s what you should do – find a good barn turn it into a pub/inn and live on the upper floor…
August 18, 2014 at 2:32 pm #360095Harley
ha ha ha Maria. THERE’s a thought for NYE !!!! YOU GENIUS !
THEY are screaming over… WHO HOOVERS AT WHAT HOUR OF THE DAY !!!!.. waking each other up with hoover noise. UNREAL !
I went and walked the dog and left them to it !
I USED to bar-tend for years.. and YES… EVERYONE loved me.. especially guys !
August 18, 2014 at 2:33 pm #360096Harley
Oh.. illicit/illegal pubs in Ireland are called shebeens… pronounced SHAY beans
August 18, 2014 at 5:24 pm #360151Violet
LOL – Maria, that’s an amazing idea about Harley opening a pub!! She could call it “Harley’s”.. how awesome :)
Harely, have you spent any time in Leitrum? I think its more liberal there… you would prob fit in better.
Serena, with macros you actually need to find what works for you. Some people lose weight on low carb, some people lose weight on low fat. HIgh protein is generally touted as the one where you’re least likely to gain weight, but some people DO gain weight if they eat too much protein. You really have to explore.
The general rule of thumb is that you EITHER go low fat OR low carb. HIgh fat+high carb = weight gain for most people. If you wanted to mix things up you could try lowering your fat a little so that you were 55 carbs. Personally I think moving around more is the best option… cutting calories isn’t sustainable imo.
So, girls, I was thinking that this thread has such a super negative title…. Maybe we should move to the community lounge, and call the new thread “Good things happen all the time”? :)
(Guess who’s been listening to “The Secret”, lol :D)
August 18, 2014 at 5:29 pm #360154Harley
HA Ha HA Violet.. yep.. have been looking at Leitrim… I just would prefer to stay commutable and my job MAY get transferred to Dublin within next 3 yrs. Also.. closer to airport.. not a priority but helps !
OOOH.. Diets ARE way over my head. So I’m NO use for advice on them.
August 19, 2014 at 1:09 am #360220maria
AAh, another beautiful day…
Lol Harley, I guess it’s better if they argue over hoovering rather than over who stole whose weed or something… screaming people are never nice to be around though, one’s home should be a nice, calm place of recreation IMO (laughing, singing, dancing, partying, playing etc. is of course aloud though)…
Yes, if you eat too much protein it will store as fat, it is also “hard on”/unhealthy to the system in general… and high fat+high carb is literally as weight gaining as eating junk food 24/7.
I eat (about) 15/25/60, and at least 2000 calories (I don’t count). The main reason why I eat low carb is that (good) fat nourishes, heals and builds up your body and brain, whereas carbs/sugar pretty much does the opposite.
As for losing weight on a high fat or high carb diet, the pros of high fat (if you do it right) are that you lose fat instead of muscle mass and you don’t get tired or hungry (cause your blood sugar is steady).
A more positive title would be… positive… but I think we should stay in this thread, cause we have the whole “evolution” in one place/thread here… that’s just my opinion though… it’s your thread Vi, and totally your choice… It’d be great if we could keep the thread but change the title… I’m pretty sure that’s too complicated for the system and not doable though…
I do think that it is kind of poetic that it’s called “nothing ever happens”, and yet A LOT is going on/happening in this thread. It’s VERY active, positive and BEAUTIFULLY flowing… If you start a new one you might kill the soul of it in the process…
August 19, 2014 at 3:09 am #360225Harley
Peace and quiet reigns in the house again.. for now !
Yep. .lets keep this thread going, since only us 4 are talking on it anyway !
I’m now looking at a church in Tipperary.. about 3 hrs from work.. would HAVE to transfer the job !
But ah sure it’s fun looking !
Mmn.. think I will have to look a bit more at what I eat.
Hope everyone is happy and positive today ! We have had MONTHS of good weather here in Ireland… which is a miracle. NEVER happens.
August 19, 2014 at 3:27 am #360232maria
Yes… “it’s a long way to Tipperary”, everyone knows that…
We’ve had miracle weather this summer as well… AMAZING!
Oh, and I have another suggestion for when to wear your dress – Halloween. Get one of those fake Oscar statuettes, stick it in your hand and wear the dress EVERY Halloween (like ironically)…
…or you could wear it every day, all year round… People would talk about you… you’d be the mad girl in the red dress… you’d be FAMOUS lol…
August 19, 2014 at 3:47 am #360235Harley
ha ha ha. I thought of that. ALL the women will hate me and say ” who’s yer(your) mad wan( one)” adn all the men will be mouth open !
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