On and off break up

He’s right to want to see a therapist, but should be mostly focused on HIS issues…

Thank you ladies. It is difficult, since we have a dog together, who had accident (ex forgot to close the window when he left the flat and she jumped out of the window. Now she has her paw paralysed). Sometimes I worry that the fear of being alone and taking care of handicapped dog alone will make me stay. He is also good at talking and even today he gave me speech that we should stay together and try to fix it.
He has not been physically abusive towards me, however, sometimes in anger he bangs at the wall or slams the doors very strongly. In May we were on holiday and had a huge fight which went for hours. I went to sleep, telling him to talk again when we will be less upset. While he was brushing the teeth and I was already in bed almost sleeping, he came to me, took off my blanket and spat at me. Since then I think I started to fall out of love with him.
He says I dont try enough to forgive/move on/ work on things.

“He says I dont try enough to forgive/move on/ work on things.”

I’m sure he learned this and all his unhealthy behaviors from his family. Someone taught him this, and it’s wrong. You do not keep patiently waiting around for someone emotionally abusive to get their $hit together. That is called, you’re abandoning yourself and neither of you have any boundaries.

Instead, you leave. It’s normally to fall out of love because someone SPAT on you. That’s an escalation of abuse and disrespect. Don’t make excuses for him.

This is emotional and verbal abuse and it’s no less damaging than physical abuse. You are right to want to break this up. Get out of that house as soon as you can. He’s not going to change no matter how much therapy he has.

@Elektricka, Thanks for the update 🙏🏼

Good on you for moving forward, You will love your next chapter!

Hi again and apologies for so many typos in my previous post, I think I was too excited :)

Just to vent, I would like to tell you how our last meetings went. On Sunday while still living together, he came to me saying he wanted to talk about the relationship and to say goodbye. So we went to living room, he started to talk and I let him speak. After like 5min of talking he called me “f vegetable” and why I don´t say anything. In that moment, I was so happy that was our last interaction. He also cried, asked if I wanted to sleep with him one more time and wanted to hug.
On Monday I moved out and found out I forgot some things for my dog which I needed for the surgery, so we agreed I would pick up the stuff on Friday. He was very happy to see me and asked a lot about the dog. Then we agreed to have a quick lunch together, which turned out to be a mistake.

He insisted he wanted to see the dog before the surgery (scheduled for mid October)to which I replied I didnt think it would be good idea to see each other at least for a few months. Then he got angry, in the restaurant almost yelling, that if he cant see her, she is not his dog anymore and he wanted money he spent on the vet bill back. I called him ahole, ate my lunch in 3min, asked why he thinks I would like to keep in touch with him, and went home. Few days later, he texted me asking when he can see the dog! He really is not getting it.

Week later he texted again, it was actually the day of the surgery and my family was with me. They thought it would be fair to let him know how the surgery went and that the dog was ok. I was not sure, but in the end I decided it would help me to close things with him for good. So I wrote” : The surgery went well. I’m sorry but I don’t want to be in touch after our breakup. And he replied: Fine by me too but I miss the dog and want to see her every now and then at least.
I honestly dont think this is about the dog (judging by the way he was treating her last months), he just wants to stay in touch somehow. It this continues, I will have to block him.
P.S.: As you probably noticed, I am not a native speaker, I hope the text is clear :)