Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › once a week but no contact in between
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 9 years, 3 months ago by
Jessica.
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omd
I see him once a week (he asks me out), but other than that, we never talk during the week. No ‘how are you’s’ or phone calls, except for a text when he wants to see me. When he went on holiday then he did text me occasionally. Does this signal low interest? What should i do? I am dating others and watching his actions. He pays for all dates, and asks me out weekly.
Maria
I think you are asking the wrong question. His interest is secondary. What’s important is do YOU like it this way? Go from there. If you don’t, ask for more, but be prepared to walk away if he does not give it to you. If you do not walk away, your chances of ever getting it with this guy will be close to 0.
Tell him that you want more in such a way so that it gives him time to think about it. Not via text, maybe a phone conversation. Do not demand or accuse or anything. Just communicate to him that once a week booty call is not what you want.
Shelly
I dated a guy recently that only contacted me when he wanted to ask me on a date. For awhile, I went with it and just enjoyed it for what it was, but eventually I realized that I wanted more and I deserved more from a guy that I was sleeping with. He never called or texted to ask me how I was doing, how my week was going, he never asked me questions to try and get to know me better, and I just got sick of him being only “halfway invested” – if even that. I just started ignoring his texts and luckily he got the hint and I haven’t heard from him for a few months now.
So it really depends on whether YOU are good with it. I wasn’t, so I am moving on to find someone who will treat me the way a woman deserves to be treated. Still waiting, by the way…lol :-)
Omd
I googled him two weeks ago when he told me his surname, and found that he is active on couch surf. He logs on every day and most of his friends are very pretty girls, that live in other countries. Red flag?
Teri
been there with this guy last year sometime. His explanation is that he has “no expectations and just go with the flow”.
So I did that (he was my first date since my divorce so wasn’t tryna be all serious anyway) but his lack of calling in between dates bothered me and I’d laugh it off with him when I did hear from him. Deep down it burned me. Especially burned me when we’d hook up then he not even call the next day!!!!! ouch that was painful. And I told him this only for him to reply “thats’ why I don’t have any expectations so no one gets hurt” REALLY???anyway I agree with Maria, what’s important is what YOU want not HIM, unless of course he was making more attempts then what’s important to both of you would matter. Doesn’t seem so in this case.
Xyz
If he is not your boyfriend, he is just casually dating you.
Omd
Thank you everyone. It has only been six weeks. I’m thinking of waiting until Christmas. To be honest I’m not too upset, because he is much older than me and logically thinking he is too distant and possibly selfish. I’m dating a new guy who seems a lot more into me.
Rose
Means that he’s not into texting and if you are then you’re not compatible.
I love guys that like to communicate with me on a regular basis. Although I don’t like it when I’m busy and they want to chat all day.
You have to figure out what you want and feel comfortable with and stick with guys that give you that.
We cannot change people.
abby
I would move on, it shows he’s not interested in you for a relationship, you might just be his booty call. I had a similar experience.
Why waste time on someone who’s not serious about you and don’t care what you are doing in a daily basis. If there’s no communication in between is not a good sign, just my opinion.
You deserve someone treat you better than a booty call.Omd
Yes exactly,
To be honest I don’t like texting, but even for me this is too little. If he asks me how I’m doing it’s a sign that he cares, which is important to me. I am not expecting long conversations daily.Omd
I’m thinking of just keeping him until I find someone who is as committed as I am.
abby
Omd
How long have you guys dated? Did you get intimate?Omd
Intimate very early on. Met him 8 weeks ago but he went on holiday for 2 weeks after that, so technically 6 weeks. He’s 14 years older and seems very introverted even though he’s lived with previous girlfriends.
Omd
I’m seeing him on Saturday (he asked me out early in the week), so I’ll see how it goes. If he cancels (as we haven’t spoken since), then I definitely won’t see him again even though I enjoy his company
Abby
Hopefully you didn’t get too invested.
I was hurt before because I invested too early.
Good luck!Jessica
If this continues, I would start not being available with an explanation of “Oh sorry, I hadn’t heard from you so I made other plans.” Game…yes, but effective, its actions not words – guys get actions more than they do words. He will quickly learn that you need more attention than that and since he’s not giving it, you have plenty of others available that will.
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