One foot in – one foot out?

Preface: Boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, moved in after 5 months. I’m 33, he’s 32. We both have anxious attachment styles, polar opposites but totally the same in other ways. We’ve had a lot of ups and a lot of downs but there is definitely a lot of love here

Fast forward to yesterday: I’m looking at getting a new car this year, and it would benefit me greatly to do so as i want to upgrade to an SUV from a sports car. I, at this stage in my life, want to start planning for my future etc etc.

I mentioned to him that while i’m making this change, i want to make sure it fits our future lifestyle as well (we have 2 big dogs, and if i have a baby this would be great) and he proceeded to tell me that i need to make this decision for me – he loves and appreciates that i want to think of us while i make this decision, but ultimately it should just be for me INCASE something happens in the future and i’m stuck with a car that i bought for us instead of myself

While i appreciate him ‘looking out for me’ as he says, i cant help but feel extremely hurt here. I absolutely voiced this to him. I said you’re thinking of us breaking up? He said he’s just a logical person, he thinks from logic and not from emotion. So logically he wants to make sure i’m taken care of.

I did tell him that by now, after two years and living together for majority of that time, that he should know where he wants our relationship to go. He should have some mental plan in place, and this one foot in one foot out mentality is extremely hurtful

He responded with “Dont you understand that I AM looking out for you, and thinking about you, I’m not sitting here trying to swindle you into a car that would be good for our life, and then we break up and you’re left with something you didn’t want”

He told me he wants to be with me, he wants to have a life with me, he’s just a logical guy and “50% of relationships fail, i’m a realist”

I told him I’m tired of him thinking this way, that he should be giving me reassurance and not leaving me hanging with this one in one out mentality. He said he’s never seen a relationship last, he never grew up with parents who stuck it out (as my parents are still together) and any of his past relationships have failed

I said you’re comparing your past to us – that was them this is us

I understand his mentality, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt me

Should this be a serious serious red flag for me? I know he loves me, he shows me he does, and i do believe he wants to be together and that’s where we’re headed BUT – him not being 100% in (he says we’re just wired differently when it comes to this subject) should be something i need to reconsider? He’s had this type of logical mentality about basically everything not just us, so i just wonder what y’alls opinions are about this