Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › One night stand that's turning into more than expected… Help!
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by
Pamela.
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sccrgrl
About a year ago I broke up with my long-time boyfriend who was my first everything (first love, first sexual partner, etc.). Honestly for a while it was hard to imagine having sex with anyone other than him. He was amazing and I felt so comfortable with him in every way, so I was worried that any guy I slept with after him would not be the same, and I would regret it after.
But after spending a year just focusing on me, I decided it was time to get back out there. So I brought a guy home that I met at a bar, assuming I’d be having a one-night stand and never hear from the guy again. I definitely was not looking to immediately hop on into another relationship. And to be quite honest I don’t really have the time for a boyfriend — I’m about to graduate from college and I have a part time job, so I’m really busy.
Anyways, this guy was adorably sexy, we talked about our mutual love for soccer, and he was a good dancer, which is always a plus. I was pretty drunk the night we met but I don’t regret my decision to get into bed with him at all. I honestly had such low expectations for the whole encounter, but the sex was great and he even stuck around for more in the morning. Then, even more surprising to me was the fact that he texted me that night and suggested that we meet up again in a couple weeks. He lives in another city about 3 hours away and said that he will have to come back and see me again. He invited me to come see him some weekend but that seems way too soon for me…
Basically, I went into the night looking for a quick one-night stand to at least be able to say that I’ve had sex with more than just one person at the age of 21. But apparently he wants to see me again, and I’m not sure if that just means that he’s dtf again or if he’s looking more for dating material… And if he is just wanting to come back for more sex, is that a bad thing to be down for? Like I honestly would not mind just being his **** buddy at this point but I’m not sure if that’s treading potentially dangerous waters. I’m also not sure how to read the signs. I kind of feel like if he just wanted a **** buddy he wouldn’t have stayed for such an intimate morning after or texted me the day after… So yeah, any advice would be great.
Eliza
All I can say is I admire you, because I am not able to do this. I wish so badly I was able to not get attached. But I do. And I had a similar situation where I had sex with a guy. I did want more though like I said. He texted me when I got home that night and has been texting for a month now. I even broke the sex part off with him and told him I couldn’t do it without getting attached. He told me on the second date he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. So I broke that part off. He still texts me daily. There have been maybe 3 days in a month he skipped. I straight up asked if I had been just a fwb for him. He said no and that I was over analyzing things.
Then I regretted breaking things off and wished I had just chilled for a couple more weeks. But I am what I am. He still communicates and is very friendly pretty much all day everyday.I would just say relax for the moment and see what happens. Let him lead.
Pamela
Your worry should not be whether this guy only wants you for a xxxxxbudy, but that you just met some random guy in a bar, and invites him home with you, knowing you were drunk.
I am not the moral detective here, however as a young woman who claims she has only had sex with her ex, that was a bold and risky move, seriously hope you used some kind of protection.
So, here is some advice, just because he stayed for more sex, and he texted you a few times after that means absolutely nothing.More than likely he is just happy that he met a girl who he can have free sex with whenever he is in your side of town. This should not be a problem since according to you, you are only looking for a xxxxxbudy as well.
So yeah seems like you found yourself a guy that is on the same page as you!!!
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