Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Overthinking what to do !
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by
Tallspicy.
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Aisling
I went on a date with a guy I’ve been talking for a while.This was our fourth date but with COVID we hadn’t seen each other since before Christmas.Going out wasn’t an option so we opted for a cosy night in,he picked me up and we went to his house. We got a bottle wine,ordered takeaway, watched movies and had a pretty chill night.I didn’t intend to stay the night but it was really cold out and the roads had frozen over with ice and I didn’t have a lift so I stayed the night. We slept together which was good.The next morning things weren’t awkward at all we were both a bit hungover and ended up having a duvet day to shake our hangovers.He is hard to read and kind of shy but I did think we had a good time and that he liked but since Saturday after he dropped me home we haven’t spoken.
I want to reach out but I don’t know what to say! Should I text him. I am currently unable to work with lockdown but he is still working all week so I think he could just be genuinely busy too.
I never texted him after the date saying thank you because I said it in person but since he is shy I feel he may of gotten the idea that I am not interested in him 🤯Liz Lemon
So you slept together Friday, you went home Saturday, and it’s now late Monday and you haven’t heard from him? Is that the correct timeline? I’ll be honest, it’s a bad sign that he hasn’t contacted you for 48+ hours after sleeping with you.
Don’t blame yourself for not texting a “thank you”. There is no reason on earth a guy would think you’re not interested in him for not texting a thank you when you already thanked him in person and clearly had a good time.
“Hard to read” is also not a good sign. A man who is interested in you makes it clear, he is not “hard to read”. Especially after 4 dates.
I wouldn’t text, personally. If he is interested in seeing you again, he’ll step up and text you. Just my opinion.
Newbie
I wouldnt text him just to make it clear youre interested in him. Usually its more of a case of is he intestered in me? Since for guys having sex is less of a deal. Its just 2 days. Have a bit of confidence he will be in touch soon if he is interested. If he doesnt reach out within 2 or 3 days, he is not interested. At least not in trying to get you.
Never underestimate shy guys. Its just as easy for them to go after what they want as alpha guys. Plus the shy part is seen as cuteAnon
I think that the staying over that wasn’t planned could be too much for him. Is this the first time you had sex?
Aisling
Yess that is the correct timeframe, it’s been 2 days and we haven’t spoke since.
I’m going to hold off sending him any message because I don’t have anything to say right now no point in just hitting him up saying hey.I’m just going to leave it off and see what happens or if he steps upAisling
Agreed why guys are shy that are like a true dark horse because they can be so mysterious, it can be difficult to know what’s going on inside their heads.Always fall for the shy guy cause it’s endearing but a lot of work
Aisling
Yes we did have sex after our 3rd date and he stayed over. This time was a bit different because we were both hungover he wanted to cuddle and watch movies so it was Saturday evening by the time I got home.So in my head I was actually afraid that I might of over stayed my welcome but he wanted me there and even made jokes saying he usually doesn’t wasn’t this lazy
Anon
I wouldn’t think too much about it. It’s a lot of time together- so I’d relax about communication and give it time. He’ll probably contact you later on in the week.
Raven
‘Shy’ is an excuse YOU give a guy…
Zoe
Absolutely NO to texting him.
Are you trying to say THANK YOU for sex you had? Seems like itThis is ridiculous.
The less you try the more he will try
Stop having 24 hours dates in the beginning. He is still recovering from the one you had 2 days ago.Tallspicy
Do not text him, and stop sleeping with men you are not exclusive and growing a relationship with because you clearly can’t be casual.
When a man does not contact you for 48 hours after sex, you are casual at best. Here is how this goes: you tell him early you want a relationship, you sleep together when you both want to be exclusive and focus on each other, you sleep together, he contacts you within 36 hours absolute max, usually 24.
Any man who was my boyfriend called the next day and two sent me flowers.
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