Please someone teach me how to do this

I know you are right. Thank you. Ordinarily that is my mentality too but this man came on very strong at first. Asked about coming on a trip with my next month (we even squared away dates) and told me when he dates he focuses on one person at a time only. So this sudden shift toward inconsistency is making me really anxious. I guess I need to distract myself (or honestly just walk away from this one because he seems all over the map in a very short amount of time and it is off putting).

I think Maddie is right. Your anxiety is rightly kicking in because this man is expecting too much too soon. I learned that the hotter they burn in the beginning, the faster they fizzle out.

To me, any man who wants to date me and only me in less than half a dozen dates, that’s a red flag. Especially if he brings it up on the first three dates. And he already wants to take a trip? No, that’s too much. This isn’t a healthy pace. And on top of that he’s now been inconsistent with texting and planning dates. Back off or let this one go. And in the future, you don’t have to follow their pace if it’s uncomfortable. You can say, I like you, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, let’s see how we get on for a little while before making any big plans.

I’ve heard the only focusing on one person at a time thing before. That’s more typical outside the US. In the US, multi-dating is acceptable. I had one guy tell me on the second date he wanted us just to date each other for a while to see if this would be a thing and I politely declined. I said, we just don’t know each other well enough yet, I think we need to spend more time together before becoming exclusive. He didn’t take it well. Yikes. Guys who want to be all in immediately are in my experience looking to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons. They’re insecure, they can’t be alone, they’re ticking a box, they’re trying to move on fast from the last one. Avoid.

So he basically invited himself on your trip?? NO. Let this one go.

I was talking with a guy I met online, we were planning to meet. We were talking dates and I said, that particular weekend, I can’t, I’m out of town in X city. He said, not that I’m invited but I wouldn’t be able to go with you, I’m busy that weekend too. Has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard. I immediately got a bad feeling about him and sure enough, we met in person and he was a Stage 4 Clinger. Lots of future talk. I didn’t see him again. We just didn’t hit it off and I thought it was apparent to both of us. More strangeness – out of the blue he emailed me a year later to ask if he I was still single because he really liked me (deleted without answering). In other words, he’s run out of women who will go out with him. Ick.