Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Poor planning or poor execution?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by Excited-ish.
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Excited-ish
We’ve been dating 3 months. Once a week, cause it’s the only day of the week we both don’t have our kids. We were going to a local place that’s open late during the week so we could hang out longer. After 2 months (10 dates) of this he offered to cook me dinner, so I went to his place for the first time, and we were intimate. Since then we haven’t gone out anywhere, I just go there that evening, I’ve brought dinner twice, he’s cooked (but didn’t have a plan this time, just threw something together) once more.
We had the exclusively dating conversation after 6-7 dates, and he asked to be bf/gf after I went to his place.
We weren’t able to see each other twice on our normal day because of family vacations the past two weeks (which included my bday), but we regularly chatted / texted throughout. This weekend, he will not have his kids (when he normally does) and I don’t either. We’ve known this for a month or so now, so naturally I’ve been excited about being able to spend time together on the weekend. He also would bring it up and say he’s excited, too.
Well, I called him the other night to chat and said “I can’t wait to see you this weekend!” He said “yes! I can’t wait to get you in my sheets!”
I was a little disappointed by his initial response, even though yes we’ve sexted and I am excited for that too. I think he could hear in my voice my slight let down, and I said, “haha Well yea, but I’m excited to finally be able to spend time with you on a weekend, since we haven’t been able to” He responds, “ yes I can’t wait to wake up with you in my arms”
….. “hah yea but I also am excited cause we can actually do things that we normally can’t, during the week, on a work / school night… Did you have anything in mind?”
He quickly responded saying he wanted to take me to birthday dinner at a restaurant he likes that is closed on our normal “date night”, and that we can go to the local shops downtown…..We’ve talked our usual texts throughout the week about our days etc, yesterday I didn’t have my kids but I had a big dental appointment last night and he said I should come over after, but I knew I would be sore and just overall not up for company with my mouth in pain. He sent me pics saying he wishes I was there now….
Well, it’s Friday, he sent the usual morning texts, I know he’s got half day today, and I have not heard anything whatsoever about plans for the weekend at all.
I am usually a planner and was feeling a bit discouraged during our initial conversation about plans, but still hopeful.
Should I ask him “hey any thoughts on what you would like to do this weekend?”
Should I suggest things we can do?
I just don’t even know what days he plans on doing anything, is he assuming both Friday and Saturday night? Is he assuming only one of them? I don’t want to come off as expecting to spend the whole weekend together, I can have plans with a friend tonight and see him tomorrow, or I can see him both, either is fine, but this not knowing is kinda annoying!!
What do you think I should do?
Say something? Ask something? Wait for his next move?
TIA!!!!Liz LemonHe’s your boyfriend, so….I wouldn’t overthink it. If you have something in mind you want to do, then I suggest just texting him that. “Hey, I was thinking this weekend we could…..” etc. Didn’t he say he was going to take you to a restaurant for your birthday? Why not lock in a date/time for that?
I also don’t think at this point that it’s too much to expect to spend the entire weekend (Fri and Sat nights, I assume?) together. You’re dating 3 months and hardly see each other, if you’re both available both nights, then why not spend them together? If that’s what you’d like to do, of course.
We have no idea what he is “assuming” so can’t tell you that- you’ll have to ask. Or, specifically express the desire, “I’d love it if we could spend both Fri and Sat nights together”.
MaddieI agree with Liz. He already asked you to be his girlfriend, so no reason to play games or make assumptions about what he’s thinking or make him read your mind. If there’s something you want to do, just say it. Yes, it’s nice for him to plan things too, but he sounds like he may not be a planner and you’re still early in the relationship so of course he’s going to be very excited about sex, and that’s fine. You can ask which night he wants to take you out for your birthday tonight or tomorrow, even tell him that knowing in advance is helpful so you can dress up a little, and then go from there about the rest of the weekend plans. He may also not be jumping on the planning wagon after you turned him down yesterday because he’s not sure if you’re fully recovered from your dental work or not yet?
If you need a man who is a PLANNER, you may find out through this stage of exclusive dating he’s not actually that compatible with you, but I wouldn’t write anything off yet. Just keep communication good and open, and have fun!
Excited-ishJust want to say thank you both for putting it into perspective for me. I was definitely overthinking and over analyzing it all. Called him, cleared it up, and packing my bag now.
Have a great weekend!RavenDoes he ever come to yours?
Excited-ishI haven’t invited him to mine yet. My teen is always home (she doesn’t go on visits), with the exception last weekend I arranged for her to spend the weekend with my parents, and put my dog in the boarding (he has a dog as well, that’s never been boarded, mine goes regularly and loves it). I will eventually invite him, and next time he won’t have his kids when I won’t have my youngest we plan to introduce the dogs at his place (they’re both med/large males dogs with different personalities). I do plan to eventually introduce him to my kids, and vice versa, but I’m not in a rush to do so.
Last weekend went better than I could have expected. We had a great time, and even when we lost power for 16hrs, we had such a great time together. -
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