Problems with dating a Single Dad.

It seems that everything is about him and his life. Granted, he is in a pickle right now, unemployed, working odd job, young daughter, ex wife. But if he is texting you, he could take extra few minutes to talk about YOU.

I think you’ve been very patient and understanding for seven months! One thing you shouldn’t be doing, however, is to “skip” dates or promises and not talk about it as if nothing happened. This is not going to serve your relationship well. You need to confront him in a non-aggressive manner.

But fyi, texting twice a day is a little too much, don’t text with him, if he wants to talk to you, he’ll find time to meet you, once a week is not a lot to ask. He can also call. Texting is not a good medium to maintain relationship. A text can come in when you are doing something else, do you quickly reply, there is no engagement, no attention. Or if you do take a few minutes to text, it is just that – a few minutes. When you talk on the phone, you are not doing anything else, you are talking to a person, you are listening, there is communication going on between the two of you simultaneously. I’d stop texting him. Do what Raven suggested and see if it changes things.

Oh heck no!! This man is not serious about you or having a relationship. This last incident would be the last straw for me.

This sounds like excuses excuses to me. He may be super busy, he may be having a stressful time. But he’s putting in zero effort. Leave him alone, live your own life and move forward. He can’t give you a relationship. Either because he doesn’t really want to or he has too much on. Who knows?!

This would SO not fly with me!! But I wouldn’t be radio silent, he would know exactly how pissed off I was and his response to that would tell me everything I need to know about the future of this relationship.

I would tell him how I had been looking forward to spending some time with him this weekend. How I thought we had plans for a camping trip he had been promising me for over 2 months now and if plans had changed and he ended up with his daughter at the last minute that I would have appreciated a phone call and an apology for breaking our plans.

I’d also be tempted to add that the race when great and thank him for asking and showing interest in my life! LOL But really I would focus on the what I typed above.

And let me tell you, if I pulled this crap with my boyfriend and didn’t bother to apologize or let him know my plans were changing and I ended up having my ex husband on my camping trip with me when my boyfriend wasn’t invited…he would go freaking ballistic!! So I’m sure as hell going to say something to him if he treated me like this. But the thing is he wouldn’t do this. He always calls to let me know if something comes up and plans are changing, he goes out of his way not to break a promise to me if we’re going out of town to do something together and if he does have to disappoint me then he’s already planning what we’ll do to make up for it. Your guy doesn’t sound like he’s considerate of your feelings at all!!

I’m sorry, but this man has unequivocally shown you your level of priority in his life. Which is next to nothing. He is stringing you along, and I don’t see that changing.

I am a single mom. I don’t allow anyone to meet my son, unless I have every indication it’s going someplace very serious. But once I get to that place with someone (I could see myself with long term), I want them to meet my son. I want to see how they interact with my child and if my child is comfortable around them.

If you want to love me you have to love my son. My son is first in importance in my life, so a man needs to understand and be okay with that. That said, my ex was a single dad, and had the same values I do. But once we were serious we met each other’s children and did things “as a family”.

This man is not in a place to be in a relationship with you, either by choice or circumstance, but I’m betting it’s his choice (he could see you if he really wanted). Men make time for what they want. When they want a woman, you never even have to question it. They are calling, planning dates, and spending as much time as they can with you. They show you in both words and actions that they miss you, and being with you is a top priority.

This guy is very inconsiderate, and I question just how “done” he is with the ex. I’d say “not very”. When a man talks about his ex all the time (good or bad) it’s a sign they are still emotionally attached.

I agree with what others have said, he is using you. He doesn’t want to really commit but he likes having you around when it’s convenient.

This is your choice now. Why choose to stay with him? He isn’t making you happy, he isn’t considerate, he isn’t moving the relationship forward, and he isn’t making any time for you.

Make your own happiness, and move on. He is wasting your time.

First of all, his daughter will always come first in his life. It’s understandable that he wants to spend as much time with her as he can, so you have to respect that. Over time as you get more serious, he will incorporate you into his time with is daughter when the time is right. If his ex is causing trouble with the visitation schedule then it is on him to correct it.

However, with that said it is no excuse to consistently treat you like an afterthought. I would feel very hurt and disrespected about the weekend camping, but then at 7 months I would have contacted my bf days earlier to ask what the plans were for the weekend. You shouldn’t just ignore this type of behavior if you want to have a relationship with him. Approach this in a civil way and see what he says. Some guys don’t understand how their actions can be hurtful and if you give the impression that everything is ok with you then he won’t/can’t change his behavior. He will only treat you this way if you let him. The two of you should talk about what you want in a relationship and decide if you can meet each other’s needs.

With everything that is gong on with him at this point, it sounds like he’s not ready to have a serious relationship. Nothing wrong with that if you want the same thing but it sounds like you want more.

Who knows if he’s really with his daughter all those extra days he says he is. Based on his other actions, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s making this up to not have to make time for you. You’ve already met the daughter so the only reason that I see for him not wanting you to be around her anymore is because he doesn’t see you being around long term.

AND he had the balls to tell you the ex came along? Who does that? I think he’s looking for you to get fed up and break it off with him.

I have to tell you the truth, I’ve gone through the same thing more than once (I’m a slow learner). Decreasing communication, doesn’t respond right away, weeks without seeing one another…if someone wants you in their life they will make an effort to keep you there. You’re just going to continue to be stressed and anxious and frustrated until this inevitably ends. It’s not supposed to be this hard. Try not to take it personally, but because of all his issues, his interest level is low. He’s not fulfilling your needs and thus is not a good match for you.

As I said it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to treat someone you’re dating as an afterthought.

When you are a divorced parent and you only get to see your child maybe 50% of the week, you prioritize them over other things. In a new relationship, I let the person know that my children are priority because I would not schedule dates or things that my children could not do with me when I had them so I could spend time with them when I had the chance. I go to recitals, games, etc even when it is not my day with them and don’t schedule things priority to those.

After the relationship is more established and serious, then you begin to spend time more together with your significant other and children.

This is why i only dated divorced men with children. They have a deeper understanding of what it is like, and don’t get upset when kid related things come up.