Quarantining…is this strange

no…if u want to just ask him maybe there’s something

Yes I think that’s strange. You should be able to communicate about this. You can also pick up condoms at the store. If you do that and then he still doesn’t want to have sex- you will know if it’s the quarantine making him uncomfortable or something else.

We did talk about it. I felt it was him distancing himself from me. I told him that and he said no. I explained why and that was when he comforted me and talked about how there’s just a lot going on. We’ve been in a distance relationship for almost 3 years and I’m finally moving in with him on Sunday. Coming back to relocate all of my stuff after the coronavirus is over.

I’d asked what is something he’d wished for during/after this pandemic. He said a lot but something that stood out to me was him saying he sincerely hopes his ex-girlfriend is okay. Even if he never speaks to her again.

While I can relate to a point with Lane, I have to digress. You are finally ending a LDR, are with him, with literally nothing to do, and no place to go.
My take on it is that this is a good time to have sex and connect intimately, make up for all those LDR years. It’s very strange to me that this is not happening.
You finally have the chance to be all over and re-discover each other, and have a new honeymoon phase.

For him to not initiate is disheartening and odd.
Yes, there is COVID-19 stress but sex is a great stress reliever, it’s good for the immune system, the soul, and the relationship.

I couldn’t let this go so easily… maybe give it a few more days, try to initiate (after getting the condoms yourself) and see what happens.
How was the sex when you saw each other before living together? Did he initiate then?

Then to make matters worse, tomorrow is my birthday. Its bad enough I can’t do anything. So while we were out, he realized he forgot his wallet while we were in Target. He asked if I could pay for shampoo he needed. I didn’t have a problem with it. Then I drove to the park where we took our walk which mostly seemed disconnected. After leaving the park, he wanted to go to a store to get a specific cake he likes which was out of the way. We get there and I say, you don’t even have your wallet. He says, that’s okay. I have my sugar mama and that I got you later.

Side note: I already feel some kinda way because I know men don’t always handle things well when a woman makes more money then they do.

I let him also know I don’t like it when he calls me his sugar mama. Even if its a joke.

I am sorry you’re feeling disappointed and sad. And I have to say I don’t blame you. I think there are unrealistic versus realistic expectations that women have about significant transitions in relationships. Everything is not always as smooth or romantic as movies or some other people describe their relationships. But I think it is TOTALLY appropriate and a realistic notion that after 3 years together, now finally moving in, him consistent initiating of sex in the past, and with heightened stress in all humans lives in general —that you would want your boyfriend to turn towards you and bond more deeply. Or just show you affection and caring and have intimacy. So what you’re feeling is understandable.

The added details of him being blasé about you buying your own birthday cake and him getting his favorite kind with your money and the joke about being a sugar momma would completely turn me off as well. It’s so frustrating when men stop courting you. Of course they can relax once a relationship is established BUT it’s a very wise man that knows that courtship is still important during banner moments such as this.

My recommendation would be to draw back as much as you can. Do your own thing as much as possible even while quarantining. Journal. Exercise. Take baths. Meditate. Whatever gets you feeling more peaceful and centered and completely expect nothing from him. Then when you’re in a good spot – in at least a few days or a week – and when he’s not hungry, tired or overtly stressed about something – tell him how you feel. Calmly and with as little emotion as possible. If you can come up with concrete things he can do that is super helpful. A good partner always wants to make their significant other happy or reassured. If he doesn’t validate you, listen to you and make a plan to make things better you will have to decide how long you will give him to do that and make decisions from there.

I don’t see how he could feel trapped when during Christmas/New Years he allowed his parents to grill me about when I’m moving out to be with their son. He just sat there and let it happen. Now the time has come and he’s feeling trapped…doesn’t make since. This should be relief because the distance is over. He doesn’t have to doubt I’m coming to move across the country to be with him anymore. Problem finally solved.

I think the sex thing is a huge deal because men love sex. So with that along with everything else you have said is making me think he’s stressed about living together and marriage. Here’s the thing, you should decide if you want to be with a man who exhibits these behaviors. Take time to really think about this because marriage is for the long haul. This is a stressful time, so I’d just watch how he behaves- give some time and then decide if this is what you want.

He could be with texting behind you when you are walking and acting strange and no sex- but that may be a stretch. I’d just back way off and see what he does