Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Reached out to a date after 11 years
- This topic has 30 replies and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
kaye.
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Meg
Yes….but the idea of being rejected by him in 2008 (after he suggested we became a couple) in 2007 and now in 2019, makes me feel like he doesn’t like me at all even as a friend from the beginning.
I thought time will neutralise it..
Whether I contact him in other 10 or 20 years, thinGS wouldn’t change.
I have accepted this fact that I can never see him again as a friend and will move on permanently
Meg
Yes newbie…not in this life….but maybe this is a closure for me in a way. It was never meant to be and will never be
Sophia
I agree you’re beating yourself up with the negative words you’re expressing about yourself right now.
I also agree he isn’t the guy he was eleven years ago. Everyone changes as life events occur. Let’s face it. The question about being up for anything is a bit weird… And he simply changed his mind as many people do.
Don’t feel rejected. As someone else has already said, if I contacted an old crush from eleven years ago the same thing would happen to me. It would to anyone.
Forget him.
Take what you’ve learned from this (to chuck out using pre-prepared texts, stop saying things that aren’t true) and move forward with your authentic self.
Raven
I think you should talk to a trained someone about your stuff…
anon
So:
You rekindled, flirted, flirted, evaded the marital status question. You freaked out, said you were married. So he backed off.I don’t know what you were trying to do, but a really convenient way to back a guy off is to say you are married and/or in a relationship. When you do so, most good guys will step away, which is what he did. You set yourself up to be rejected. Did you think telling him you were married would make him step up and pursue you?
kaye
You know after having been on this site for years giving advice, it’s not often I read a post and it completely boggles my mind! But this has got to be one of the weirdest ones I have read in awhile! You reach out to a guy you haven’t talked to in 11 years, you flirt with him, tell him you live alone, even talk about ONS and he should come visit you, then drop the bombshell you’re married?!!? But you’re not really married and you want to know what he’s thinking? He’s thinking a married woman looked him up after 11 years, flirted with him, made sexual innuendos and THEN says she’s married after avoiding the question earlier. Your excuse for lying to him is so lame I don’t even see how you would confess the truth at this point.
You weren’t just curious how he was doing. You aren’t just trying to keep in touch as an old acquaintance. You said yourself it was unrequited love. No it’s not wrong to reconnect with someone from the past on friendly terms with no motive, but that’s certainly NOT what you were doing!! If that were the case there would be no reason to lie to avoid rejection. Imagine the roles were reversed and he came to you after 11 years. Would you just think he wanted to reconnect with an old friend?
I really think you need some counseling or a life coach or something. If you’re in your early 30’s and haven’t learned how to handle rejection in life then you are going to have some serious issues. Rejection is a part of life. We don’t get every job we apply for or every guy we go after. Heck some people can’t even get loans for cars or houses and get rejected.
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