Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Reason for breakup with his ex
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
girlnextdoor.
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girlnextdoor
So I have been talking to a guy and he is very seriously pursuing me since a month. However, yesterday he told me that he ended is last serious relationship because they had gone to a pool party without knowing that it was a pool party. So his ex gf (then gf) did not have her swimsuit. So she just took off her shirt and got into her br*. And after a while accidentally her entire br* came out and she was standing naked in a room full of men and women. My country is very conservative and he is a very conservative guy as well. He felt very bad. and he reacted badly, but later on apologized as well. But she broke up with him. I think the girl must have felt very uncomfortable herself and would have expected to listen to a few kind/supportive words from her bf. But the bf being conservative and orthodox could only sit angrily thinking why did she have to wear what ever she decided to wear when it was not the proper attire for a pool party and felt very humiliated to see his gf naked in front of his male friends, juniors and colleagues from work. Wat do you guys think of the situation?
Helen09
Honestly, I understand both the guy and his ex-girlfriend. On the one hand, the guy should have kept his voice down and supported her. On the other hand, the girl should have thought of something different with the swimsuit. It sounds to me like both are at fault and I’m glad they broke up.
zoe
He his major anger issues, I would pass on this one
Sam
I’m wondering why he’s talking to you about his ex gf. Maybe it’s me but my husband has dated people before me and visa versa and we’ve never had to discuss why it didn’t work out with them, because all that matters is that it ended. Just seems weird to me.. he either likes gossiping or is not over her.
Maddie
I think your only takeaway from this story is, based on what he said, do your life values align? Is he more conservative than you? If you ended up in a situation where you’ve done something public that would be frowned upon, are you okay if he doesn’t take your side and is more supportive of the cultural norms than of you? Does he in general seem to have a habit of handling anger poorly? Does he talk about exes a lot or have random bits about his past just come up a couple times organically in conversation?
Does he seem to fit in with what you’re looking for or do you have pause because you don’t agree with how he treated his ex? Or do you see it as they were incompatible and it simply didn’t work out? Some cultures will see his behavior as unacceptable, but others won’t so it’s hard to give you generalized advice when I know I’m from a less conservative culture. But these are the points you should be considering.
girlnextdoor
Maddie- that’s right. I wouldn’t be happy if he was more supportive of cultural norms than me. I am happy you pointed out this aspect of my personality. I don’t see myself as a conservative person but I don’t like morally loose people in the name of being modern as well. How does one reconcile such differences?
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