Recent breakup

Thank you for the response. The text made me sad. He is a very good person. But I read it as you said, it isn’t a text wanting to figure out a plan for our situation. So I didn’t think it needed a response.

I think what you did makes sense. Long distance kills relationships. In my opinion, it’s not a good idea to keep in touch with an ex. Best to move forward.

lane, i might be wrong but what it sounds like is they don’t have a plan going forward. that’s the problem. that meaning, usually, where do they live next? she might want to stay where she is, or move to a certain place, and he might want to be where he is… that’s a common hitch in a long distance relationship that causes a break up. when she says “we don’t have a plan,” i assume she is talking about that?

@Jevvy. This is why they, as two adults, need to sit down and TALK to each other to figure it out. Three years is a long time and I’m tired of everyone telling all the ladies on here to just DUMP THEM and walk away. Sorry but that’s not how relationships should work. Life is full of bumps, curveballs and hardships which is why adults need to learn problem solving skills because walking away every time life gets hard is not going to make life easier because you will just be dragging poor problem solving skills into the next, and the next, and the next.

@Reena. Answer my questions. How do you get along when you’re together? Trust me, I’m a long-distance relationship expert as my (now ex) husband of over 20 years was gone over half our marriage because of his military job; and my current partner goes out to sea for months at a time so I’m fully aware of the struggles distance can bring to a relationship. I think you should wait to have any talks with him until you return home. This will give both of you some time to calm your emotions and think about what your plans/goals are. You really shouldn’t try to engage in any heavy talks when emotions are high and why learning how to take “time outs” to cool down until you can speak calmly to each other is a good skill to learn now v. engaging in arguments.

You need to learn how to argue in a healthy way. Arguments aren’t always bad as allowing things to fester is just if not more dangerous then putting what’s bugging you out there is.
It ultimately comes down to *how* you argue that will either strengthen a relationship or tear it down. Now is the time to learn how to navigate and learn skills that will not only help or aid you in your romantic life but professional too—a win, win!