Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Recent Dumper Ex is Sending Texts after Sudden Split
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cancermoon sagrising.
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cancermoon sagrising
He technically just broke up with me a week ago. It was due to a misunderstanding and lack of communication. We are long distance (met up) and had been together almost 6 Months. We were set to move in together in a month.
His reason for the breakup was that I wasnt initiating affection enough for him. We had lots of affection and intimacy, its just that he felt he initiated most. He had NEVER communicated this before so it came as a total shock. I immediately apologized abd told him it was fixable and that I felt the breakup was premature, but he stubbornly stuck with it saying i probably wasnt going to change. Then we amicably hung up. No yelling no screaming just pure shock and confusing disappointment.
3 days of crying and not eating. I sent him another thorough apology (did NOT ask to get back together) then I finally started to feel a bit better and move on. I began watching lots of content on unexpected breakups etc. I even went to a group on social media and asked for advice on the situation. No one knew my ex or that i was in a relationship so it was mostly anonymous and sincere, no name-calling. But I guess my ex was stalking my social media so he randomly sent me a paragraph text about it.
He was very upset that I asked for advice on social media. I apologized again and assured him my intentions werent to make him feel bad. 5 men and 1 woman responded and I guess he didnt like their replies or any of it. Then he apologized for the abrupt decision to break up. I thought that was the end, but he sent another text 24 hours later. I guess by this time he kept re-reading and overanalyzing the post. Got another angry paragraph of him venting about it again, it was clear it hurt his ego. ((in the post i claimed that I figured my ex was self conscious (i did not use the word insecure at all) due to his erratic behavior and his overthinking and i asked for advice on how to help him feel more comfortable and what to do if it happened with another guy) Everyone took my side saying he needed to work on his communication skills some said it sincerely and others said he was toxic. That was it)) My ex’s ego is all bruised up now. His paragraph text was him explaining how confident he was in himself and that I was immature for thinking he was insecure and “asking for validation” about our split. I apologized again and explained that I was trying to make sense of the sudden breakup and went about it the wrong way and didnt mean to hurt him. I told him id never post about us on social media groups again. (even though know one knows who i was talking about since i never publicly announced us yet) and why im on this site instead lol
Weve been no contact ever since then yesterday lol But I have the feeling hes going to come back.I dont know if I should get back with him or not. Im not going to ask right now obviously, hes too upset right now so im going to give him at least a few weeks to cool down. But I do feel like hes going to return,since this whole issue was an easy resolve. And just based on the things he said during the apology and even while angry. But its kinda like idk if hes going to do this again with the sudden breakup and poor communication. What should I do?
Ewa
I have a feeling he broke up with you because he was seeing someone else and wanted to see someone else. That person lost interest, so he is now back chasing you again.
He left you once he will do it again. Don’t entertain his ego.Raven
Delete him & block him from your social media!
While you’re at it, block him in person, too… He is immature & manipulative.Please do not consider re-uniting with him.
He has shown you loud & clear who he is. You will be his emotional punching bag…Tallspicy
Oh lord. You dodged a huge bullet: how on earth did he find you posting? Please always make sure you only post on this stuff where totally anonymously.
A. Breaks up over an assumption…no communication or attempt to change. Unless he goes to therapy, this will always be how he communicates and is a Deal Breaker.
B. Stalks you on social media. This was not the first time. Bad enough he does it, terrible he contacts you about it.
C.
after he dumps you and then is mad about it? Instead of saying… maybe I made a mistake in not communicating… but we are still broken up….he blames you and sends you texts about how you deal with a breakup?
E. One thing to learn about easily fixable, your opinion never matters, only the other person being willing and able to repair. He can’t, so he is out.If he comes back… why now, what is different, how will you make sure this doesn’t happen again and is in therapy to own his part. Also, if he comes back and is wanting ego strokes with no clarity.
Bob, I appreciate you reaching out to me. However, I am only willing and able to engage if getting back together is what you want. If so, let’s talk about that, but if not, I prefer not to engage as it is painful and hard for me. I truly wish you the best no matter what.
Mary
I would chalk it up as good lessons for the future. The guy to watch out for (needy) and posting on a forum so close to him and that he can see.
cancermoon sagrising
After some more thinking yea, I wont get back with him.
The post was on another forum site we were mutual friends on. I think he stalked my page. Because he wasnt even in that group, he wouldve had to scroll through my activity to see my post. (this wasnt on facebook or instagram or snapchat) Even so its weird that he was looking at my account after our split. Ive since blocked him on it though.
I honestly dont even feel all that sad anymore. He was a Mama’s Boy, that portion was exhausting to deal with.
Tallspicy
I am going to call you out on posting on a place you were mutual friends and he could see your activity. That feels at min subconsciously on purpose. Don’t ever do that again, and figure out why you did it to begin with. It feels a lot like posting a passive aggressive post about love being hard of something.
He should not have been looking, but he wasn’t stalking you like you made it seem.
cancermoon sagrising
I already apologized and it does look malicious (even though it wasnt). I was trying to figure out why the breakup was unexpected and if there was any resolve there. (just like how i posted here). So thats already been handled. Thanks though.
cancermoon sagrising
And it definitely was stalking. He reached out days later. I had already had a bunch of other activity. (tiny chance he couldve been simmering about it for a few days) but yea no. Doesn’t seem like it,based on his texts.
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