reconnected w an old friend, he's confessed always crushing on me…

This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by Maddie.

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April 16, 2021 at 10:48 pm #859151 Reply

gigi123

(i always sort of crushed on him, too. we have lots of common interests and great communication)

the confusing part is that he’s said straight out that he really adores me, thinks i am the kind of woman he would like to settle down with, and has confessed that he really wants a relationship.

so used to men playing it cool, the way he expressed what he’s lacking in his life and what he wants makes me worry he is desperate and just looking for ANY woman. thoughts?

April 17, 2021 at 12:22 am #859162 Reply

Raven

So, Make him work for you…

April 17, 2021 at 2:10 pm #859415 Reply

Maddie

Playing it cool or not isn’t the way to gauge “desperation.” What you’re looking for is someone emotionally available. That means they know and can communicate about what they want, are consistent, and are a whole and happy person with or without you (but they choose that they’d rather be with you).

You said you’ve known him a long time. Does he have the characteristics I just described? If you’ve only recently reconnected with him and don’t know him as well anymore, you can give him some time to get to know him better again. Maybe even a couple dates.

If it’s more like, he wanted to be married and start having kids yesterday and is trying to rush you without knowing you well, that’s a red flag about him.

It may also be a red flag about you if you are losing attraction over his high interest and would rather a less interested and less available guy playing it cool, who you need to chase. Do you have that pattern?
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