Reconnecting with Ex

if he doesn’t seem that keen then he clearly isn’t. I can tell you are not stupid. Men are simple creatures, if he wanted to reconnect with you, he would.
you reached out to him when your car broke down so he went with it and maybe he was OK with getting some attention from you but nothing else.
you were only dating for 2 months, fair to say you don’t even know this guy.
I wouldn’t bother :)

“I am not sure how I feel” means covid was an excuse for what was already not working. You do nothing. Let him do all the work, if it good work reward him with responsiveness and warmth, if it is not, just fade out.

If he says he keen and his actions don’t match, just cut it off now.

It’s been fun reconnecting, now that things are getting back to normal I am looking for the real deal and this is not heading that way. Wish you the best of luck!

Please trust me when I say – the first several months of a relationship will be the man’s vErY best efforts. If he used a lousy excuse like getting covid to break off a perfectly budding relationship, and now is blowing hot and cold after reconnecting, he is NOT that into you. It sucks I’m sorry. But men are simple. If they want something they go after it. And they aren’t stupid – they have brains and hearts. Probably he knows you’re a catch and it’s flattering when a woman they are attracted fo likes them – but for whatever reason he’s not feeling it enough to properly pursue you.

The mOsT thing for you to do right now is NOTHING, as well as, get BUSY thinking about ANY thing else but him. Date others. Keeping your cool if he does reach out and absolutely let him do all the work. If you’re cool with just being friends by all means keep chatting. But if not, and he doesn’t set up dates (especially since y’all have a history) and only gives you crumbs of attention – I would cut it off as tallspicy advised above.

Remember If you have to ask if a guy is interested , he usually isn’t (enough). And – an I don’t know almost always means – no.

Hi Mo,

You’re asking the right questions.

Here’s a list of some red flags about a man emotionally unavailable to you I have found to be the biggest tells:

Hot/cold

Words/actions/feelings don’t align and are inconsistent

Feeling confusion about where you stand after you’ve gotten to know each other

They have a chaotic dating history, double red flag if they put most of the blame for that on their ex partners

If a guy responds to his life stress issues by just ending things (especially without really explaining himself and maturely communicating about the issues prior to breaking up), then he likely has a pattern of dealing with everything by turning away from others instead of towards them and probably isn’t ready to be a reliable partner. Doesn’t have great coping mechanisms for handling problems, whether they are related or unrelated to you.

This guy will likely be wasting your time if you’re looking for something serious. I’d personally let it fade out unless you’re interested in casual companionship as part of getting back into the dating pool. But a guy who acts the way you’ve described or shows you the traits I’ve listed will NOT be good for your self-esteem. If you’re trying to work through that and feel better about yourself, I’d definitely skip men like this.

An easy way to protect yourself is asking yourself, am I really happy with how this guy behaves or am I trying to date the potential instead of the person and situation actually in front of me? Trust people and see their good unless/until they give you a reason not to but… don’t date potential because it’s a recipe for unhappiness and more hits to your self-esteem.

I just want to thank you for your help and advice. It gave me the little push I needed to have a chat with said guy.
I told him today that I felt we would be better of as friends as dating each other again seemed to be putting pressure in top of all the other stuff hes dealing with at the min.
It was a good conversation and turns out we were both onnthe same page but to worried about approaching the conversation lol.
So as I put it a friendship is better than nothing.
Thanks again folks xx

This is good news! Glad you were able to get clarity. Enjoy the friendship, but keep good friends-only boundaries. Don’t let him act ambiguous or send you mixed signals trying to make you a backup or hookup downgrade (in case he tests the waters to try this). Friends only, and bigger and better things with other better partners for your romantic relationships!