Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › regret this
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 10 months ago by
Annie.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Annie
me and my ex have been broken up for a couple of months now. I guess we were trying to fix things but we just made them worse. I overreacted over something stupid and said very hurtful things. I guess it doesn’t matter what it is the point is we’re not together and it’s not my place to be bitching about what he’s doing. He texted me back explaining his side of the story but he also said he’s glad I’m saying all this because it shows him I’m never going to change. It was after that when I said the hurtful things. I said them out or anger and heartbreak and now I feel really bad. This isn’t about wanting him back I just hate the fact that I insulted him I tried apologizing but he blocked me. I know it’s really over this time. He’s said some ugly things to me as well in this whole process but I feel like I said a little too much. I’m just sad that I put him down and that he’ll probably end up hating me. I’m also his first gf ever (he’s almost 26) so what is breaking my heart is the thought of him only remembering me as a trash ass gf instead of someone special. Has anyone else been through this? I’m trying to let it go but it’s eating me up
Summers
Now that its been a couple of months why don’t you try contacting him and see how hes doing? maybe you two can be friends. Maybe he still has feelings for you.
mama
The best thing you can do for him and especially yourself is to let him go (don’t try to contact him again — it’s over. He set boundaries and you disrespected them.). Also, try to forgive yourself and learn from your actions. You can’t take words back once they leave your lips and there is a high cost for that.
Be better than this. And like I said, forgive yourself and learn how to take better control over your words. Part of that is learning how to respect other people in your life — their feelings, thoughts, actions, etc. And how to manage your emotions. You don’t have the right to word vomit all over others just because you feel a certain way. That’s the hard truth, sorry girl.
I used to be like you but I’m much older now and had a bit of therapy under my belt to deal with my anger issues. The above are the things that helped me. Now when my current boyfriend annoys or upsets me, I take a short walk or do something physical which helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings. Then I will talk to him when I’m calm. That respect for him and myself has (in part) gotten me a much deeper and satisfying relationship than I’ve ever had.
Good luck — maybe start focusing on how you can learn from this so you don’t do it again to someone else. Use your pain and heartbreak as a tool. When you know better, you do better.
kaye
We all have regrets in our life. The best thing we can do is to learn from them and move forward. Your lesson is to learn not to lash out and say things in anger because you are hurt. You can’t take back the words once they are said. He said some ugly things to you too. I’m sure he understands it was in anger and I highly doubt one bad experience after your break up is going to make his think you were a terrible GF the entire time! And if it that’s the only memory he wants to hold onto then that’s his problem not yours!! Show him you respect his boundaries and LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Annie
Thank you so much for replying❤️ This is not the first time it happens the same thing happened in my previous relationship but he was just like me so I guess we understood each other a little better. But I’m glad I learned my lesson because we’re not all the same and I need to learn how to control my emotions and stop trying to hurt other people back when I feel hurt. I guess I grew up seeing this as “normal”. and it sucks that I had to loose a guy I really love to figure out I have to work on myself. I have gone to therapy a few times for the same reason and I’m planning on going back next week. It’s not so easy to change this toxic trait when I’ve been like this my whole life. But I really want to change that about myself and yes I’m not planning on reaching out again
-
AuthorPosts
