Rejected and blocked

Well that sounds a bit dramatic don’t you think? Things couldn’t be worse for you? Yes they certainly could…you could find out you have a terminal illness, lose a close friend or family member, you could have been cheated on or find out you’re pregnant.

Things can always be worse. In your case a guy you liked blocked you because he doesn’t want to date you or anyone right now. It’s not the end of the world. There will be lots more guys you like who will be interested. Let him be immature and block you and don’t for a second get hung up on being with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you. Life is too short!

And the fact you had to point out that you wanted to hang out with no drama, and the fact your first statement was so dramatic, makes me think you may be one of those girls who likes drama and that’s a huge turn off to guys. Just an observation of something you may want to work on in the future.

Yes it is immature but it is not the end of the world for you. I have had guys block me when I wanted nothing from them romantically and it is like ok. It should not bother you too much. I have no idea how you were pushy or pestering him, it can go overboard. I try not to block people unless I must and I know that I cannot resist answering them and really feel that I absolutely should not. I like the way Kaye put things into perspective that yes things can always get worse and could definitely be worse if say you were dying. Even if it is not that severe. Perhaps this guy was only a crush? Try not to fixate on crushes and try going dating with guys and take it easy and light. I could understand that you feel crushed if this was a relationship and I am sorry you feel humiliated now but do consider this to be his loss not yours now.

if someone blocks you this is clear message that they are not interested and do not anticipate this to change. If it changes, then they will contact you.

You should do no contact for yourself and do not plan on anything with him. If he changes his mind, he will come back to you. But do not plan on it and do not harbour hopes.

You said you were “pushy”, you need to learn from this experience. Pushing never gets you anywhere, I wonder why anyone would want to do that ever? You can ask and talk but push? Especially for a woman? If you have to push this means he is not into you, and if he is not, what would you accomplish by pushing? You can’t force someone to like you or to want to be with you or to want to stay friends with you or to hang out with you. You need to understand, accept and respect that.

Move on, you will find someone better. It is always “better” because you learn from your mistakes and learn to recognize issues early and avoid them.

Why do you care if he unblocks you? If someone blocked me, I would forget about them and move on. A word of tough love – stop feeling sorry for yourself. He didn’t “pressure you” into sleeping with him. You decided to sleep with him. Having a pity party will make it harder for you to move on.

He blocked you because your desperate. Point blank. Guys don’t like to be the center of the universe for a woman, it’s too much pressure. They also don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t have her own life and just waits by the phone or sits at home waiting for him to call. You have friends you have family to spend time with or go binge watch a TV series on Netflix or go clubbing. Waiting on him to unblock you is just going to cause you more pain when you see him with someone else. Better to forget about him now and work on your self esteem. Best wishes to you.

How did he pressure you to have sex? I can’t see how anyone can do that, unless they’re forcing you. You either agree to do it or you don’t.

What did he get angry about after you had sex? I’m assuming got the fact you did it!

I think you assumed because he slept with you, he wanted something more. His text says it all. You acted liked a girlfriend but all he wanted was a bit of fun. You said yourself you were pushy and it turned him off.

I know you feel sad for yourself and I understand that, but you’re not an entirely innocent victim in this. From what you say, he didn’t use you. He didn’t promise anything or take anything you weren’t willing to give.

Would you really just want to be just friends if he unblocked you? I think you want more than that. If he met you for coffee, I imagine you’d want more and would hope that the fact he met you meant he also wanted more. Then what if he met you again after that? Would you see that as leading you on? Think about this about his perspective. If he’s not interested, why bother with the drama?

Just learn from this.

Let BLOCK MAN go. Move on.

He is being somewhat silly.

And you need to chill…do not pursue a man….ever.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I’m doing better but I keep having some bouts of crying every day. I hope these will get less and less. I’m trying to focus on myself, studies and work.

I keep getting flashbacks from the moments we had. I don’t know how he can be so cruel. He knows that I’ve waited 4 months for him to come back to my city and now he’s doing this. He knows I wanted to see him more than anything. He didn’t like it when I got too emotionally involved. I shouldn’t have been so eager. I don’t know if he’s trying to teach me a lesson, his friend said that we could meet later, but not at these times.

I’m sure he’s doing this because he wants to meet other girls and sleep around. He doesn’t want anything serious. He’s cutting me off because he knows I like him and this makes him uneasy.

Thanks a lot :) it’s nice to see that you girls don’t judge me that harshly. Yes, it’s a mistake and I’m trying to learn from it. I’ve bookmarked this page so I’ll always come back to it when I’m feeling down. Just reading your encouraging comments makes me feel a lot better.

I’m too caring with everybody. I should try to be more indifferent, but I always try to give my best in everything I’m doing, whether it’s work, studies or relationships. I need to learn that just because I’m too involved and passionate, people are not like that and I shouldn’t expect too much from them.

I hope you get over feeling sad soon. I know it’s hard. Try to steer clear of jerks–guys who do things that make you feel bad. If they’re always making you sad then they’re bad for you, just don’t keep guys like that in your life.

That is such a wise way to think about it, Khadija. Whenever something “bad” happens in my career I always look at it this way and immediately focus on new opportunities, and it’s always worked well for me, so much so that I’ve always ended up being happy about those supposedly bad things. Never tried that approach with a relationship, but you’re right, it’s the same thing.

Sorry that this guy treated you poorly. I agree with others who say no decent man would push for sex, get angry and withdraw if you say no to sex, and he would not have sex with you later and then block you. This is a BAD guy. Please, please, please learn your lesson and STAY AWAY from men like him. He did you a favor blocking you now. I know it hurts right now. Imagine how much it would hurt if you went through this hurtful cycle with him for a few years? It’s good that he blocked you.

Start paying attention to how men treat you. Many of us here have fallen prey to men like this one in the past. So learn from that mistake, so you can see the red flags right from the start. Red flag #1 is pressuring you for sex in the first place. Most men will “try” to get sex but if you say no, most men will stop at that. The second and even BIGGER red flag was how he treated you after you wouldn’t give him sex. That was the time to block HIM and move on. Block him out of your life and change your focus to something else. If I was in your shoes, I would block him on Facebook so that he can’t come back and harass you for more sex the next time he needs a warm body to use for his own self-interest.

Hugs