Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Said he wasn't ready for a relationship than came running back after I left…..
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 9 years, 6 months ago by
becca.
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Rebecca
We have been dating for 4/5 months (we are exclusive since 1 month) right off the bat said he was looking for a relationship etc. I was on the same page. Than he started a new job a month later to pay for school (he didn’t want to be on a loan for school) I said I understood as I was in the same boat (working hard this summer to pay for school, we are mid twenties.) Anyways we’ve grown closer and Ive mad no mention of a relationship before. However I find myself really liking this guy and I am ready and open for a relationship. I told him this and He said he’s priority was working lots and saving for school we should just take it slow/have fun.
So I said (calmly) that if he didn’t want the same thing I completely respect that but I hope he can respect my decision to move on so we can both find someone who wants the same things that we both want. I wished luck and left the apartment.
His mouth was hanging open and I just left. He started blowing up my phone saying that he really liked me and didn’t want to lose me, work was number one on his mind but he wanted to make it work with me and can’t lose me and he just had a bad day at work and was stressed (I didn’t know this)
I haven’t responded all this just happened last night. Im pissed off that he only wanted me when he thought he was going to lose me. How do I respond?
Khadija
I’d wait a few days to cool off and then suggest having a talk in person.
Allow him to do most of the talking and see what he says.
If, you still aren’t happy with what he offers I see no wrong in moving forward.Rebecca
I believe I will do this. He is quite sensitive esp when stressed out and I was not aware or else I would of waited for a better time.
I am feeling rejected and quite angry myself, I do not want to make a permeant decision based on temporary feelings.
Khadija
I think that’s a good idea. The last thing you want is to second guess your feelings later down the line.
redcurleysue
Absolutely cool off. He did not realize that he would entirely lose you…men focus on one thing at a time…and that was work. You were in the mix but not on top…you are on top now.
Boy, I hope you really want this guy since it looks like he wants you. I hope you did all your homework on him and know he is the “one” and you have no doubt…cause if he goes for a relationship then it would be cruel for you to decide it was not him you wanted…
becca
Thank you for your perspective sue. I am 100% sure about him. I date every cautiously.
It scared me when he said “his priority was working lots and saving for school we should just take it slow/have fun.”
That made me think he only wanted a fun, causal thing where I was ready to enter a relationship. I like him very much and he would be an awesome partner but I did not want to continue investing emotionally/mentally/physically etc if he only wanted fun, casual.
I love that he is disciplined and ambitious in his life but I was unsure if there was room in his heart and mind for me.
We are meeting for coffee to discuss and it looks like we are on the same page smile emoticon
becca
: ) *not smile emoticon
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