Sandybean! Easy answer'she right one he went MIA cause he's with another chick

You aren’t dating this guy, right? If I recall correctly, he calls and texts you sometimes, and you hang out sometimes. But there have been no explicit conversations about where things are going, or what the two of you are?

You say in your post that your anxiety is gone, and then you follow that statement with 4 questions about what you should do. I don’t think your anxiety is gone. I think you are still questioning yourself and your worth. When in reality it’s very simple. You want a relationship, I assume? This guy is not going to give you what you want. He made it very clear. He told you point blank that he’s on a trip hooking up with another woman.

So why would you even waste your time talking to him any more? It’s not condemning him to let him go. It’s freeing yourself of baggage you don’t need by not talking to him anymore, and opening up yourself to better possibilities.

If I were you I’d totally purge this guy from your mind. It’s OK to tell him that you are looking for a committed relationship, and you want different things, so you won’t be talking to him anymore. That’s having healthy boundaries.

One more thing– this guy is obviously shady as hell and knows what he’s doing if he’s telling you he can’t call or text you during the trip because he’s with another woman. He knows what he’s doing isn’t right. He’s playing both you and her. If he were above board he would not have to hide you from the other woman. Why even play a part in that? Why engage with a guy like that?

I wish you the best and encourage you to keep working on therapy! Perhaps a break from dating for awhile would be a good idea while you work on yourself. During this pandemic winter dating will suck anyway, so it’s a good time for a break.

“he called me a day before the trip because he would he wouldn’t be able to call me/text me during the trip since he’s hooking up with somebody there”

I interpreted that as him telling you he was with someone else? Your post was a bit confusing.

At any rate, this is way to much anxiety and energy to give to a guy you’ve had two dates with! I really strongly suggest you step back and take a break from dating. You should not be this anxious and invested in a guy you’ve had 2 dates with. You are obsessing over this guy. You say others guys are occupying your mind more than him but you keep posting about this particular one. So I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself. But I really do think a break from dating is what you need, not other guys. I say that with the best of intentions.

Sylvia, this man owes you NOTHING! Did you hear that? This man is SINGLE and is allowed to speak to, text or sleep with any woman he wants to!

Your need to control people is not going to serve you long term and need to learn how to let that part of your personality go or you will never have a happy and healthy relationship with any man, accept for a low level Beta guy maybe, but never an Alpha male which he probably is.

Seriously, you need to remove all traces of this guy and block him because you aren’t in a good mindset and all its doing is creating unnecessary drama in your life. He is living his life the way HE WANTS (key words) to live his life and has the right to so. Its high time you let this one go because he’s with someone else because he wants to be with someone else which is also his right to do.

I think your best bet is to focus on getting healthier mentally. I recall other posts you have had months ago and I felt as if something was off in terms of mental health. I say this with care and consideration for you to really look to see if you are having multiple misunderstandings, misperceptions about situations, not respecting boundaries, becoming overly invested in a relationship, and distorting your perception on life. I feel like you come in waves of up and down and unfortunately you probably have a mental health issue. Please have yourself assessed to determine personality characteristics. Advice you get on these types of sites will not help the core of the issue which appears to be an overall distortion of reality of relationships among other things.

Guys smell cray cray a million miles away. You clearly KNOW you have issues and you obsess about guys. Of course he didn’t contact you again. Why are you dating??!!

ARen’t you the one that posted about “Meghan Markle’s seduction style’ and some other stuff? And then left in a huff because no one was interested in talking about Meghan Markle’s seduction style and you took offense?

I agree with the others – you need to get with a counselor and get mentally healthy. Dating is the last thing you should be doing right now. All of this smacks of BPD or something else, this is way beyond just anxiety. The way you write is very disjointed and it’s concerning.

Since your therapist is teaching you to think for yourself and rightly won’t tell you what to do, why are you going around your therapist and shortchanging yourself by getting total strangers on the internet to tell you what to do because you are avoiding to do the actual work of thinking and deciding for yourself??!!