Seeing A Guy For 8 Months, Then He Just Stops Contact

How did you two meet? Is he online or do you know if he’s dating others? If you haven’t had the talk about being bf/gf and you are acting like a gf already. Why should he invest or do anything to keep you, he already has you acting and doing things as a gf would do. Maybe he is just getting bck to his routine, he may be relaxing and wanting “me” time which is quite healthy. you don’t need to talk to someone every single day after 8 months unless you are married and live together. 8 months a man should know whether or not he wants to continue with you or keep you dangling around. Have you met his family?

Unfortunately I think he just ghosted you. I guess it suited him just fine tol have this not really commited relationship with you. He had his fun ..either he is bored or else he found someone else. Let hm go, and please dont write him unless he writes you back

Why on earth would you see someone only once a week or less for 8 months? That is not a boyfriend, that is a dude biding his time. Please please please look at your dating habits and explore why you would put up with this!!!!

Thanks for everyones help with this!
I did meet him online and I’m not sure if he was seeing anyone else but during our relationship I was scared to ask him that question thinking that would scare him away. I just assumed that he was dating other girls, so I dated other guys here and there while I was with him but it was never as great or as serious as it was with him. I did meet some of his family but it was just kind of casually, and he always just introduced me to his friends as this is Sarah.
There was an issue because I always had to initiate us hanging out, I only did this because I know he’s not a planner and I really liked on making plans in advance. But most of the time he was busy with other things and he is very into his friends and always seemed liked his plans with his friends came first.
There were still things that he did and said to me that I knew he liked me, and I really liked everything else about him, so of course I still always kept my hopes up.
I’m still friends with him on Facebook, and haven’t seen anything on there so I know he’s most likely okay. But I definitely will only post happy things on there.
I do realize that there were some issues and maybe he really didn’t want a girlfriend and maybe I was becoming too much of a girlfriend to him. I just wish that he could have told me that instead of ghosting me after 8 months. I’m still debating on reaching out to him and telling him to be straight up with me.
I just don’t know if I will hear from again, but if I do he better have a damn good excuse.

Sarah,
I’m so glad I found your post. I’ve been looking all over the Internet trying to figure out what’s going on with guy. My story is pretty much the same but I have been with him for a year this month. We also met online and we both were blown away when we found out we were from the same small town (1 stop light) In our profiles we both had listed a big city which is an hour from our real location. We thought it was fate because what are the chances of us both being on the same dating website and the one person we felt any connection to ends up living 5 miles from us. We talked around a month before we decided to meet in person. We both admitted we felt a strong connection, we felt like we had been friends for years. Anyway I’m sorry for all the small details so let me it to it. After our first date we seen each other at least 2 or 3 times a week. He would text me every morning and throughout the day, this lasted for the first 7 to 8 months. Then he told me he loved me, he knew I had fallen for him but I hadn’t come out and said it yet. When he told me I thought he was joking so I said “whatever” I think this scared him because I didn’t say it back. The next day I told him I loved him and he didn’t say it back to me. This is the point everything seemed to change, he stopped seeing me as much. At this point we were seeing each other once a week but we still talked everyday but it wasn’t like before I could tell he was changing. He has a great job but he is on call most of the time and has to work a lot of overtime so this was his excuse for not being able to see me (it never stopped us from seeing each other before). As of now we only see each other every other week or so and we don’t hardly talk at all In between visits. He knows I love him more than anything and my heart is broken. His friend told me several times to be careful that he was a good guy but used women. I never saw that and I still don’t think he was using me then. As of the past month I do feel used and mistreated. How can he love me and just cut his feelings off. We had gotten so close we told each other things about ourselves that we hadn’t told anyone else we weren’t just a couple we were also best friends . I know he loved me but I don’t think he does anymore I think he pushed me away so he would loose the love he had for me. He went 8 days without responding to my text I begged him to answer me but he didn’t. He finally did text me this past Saturday and he acted like nothing had happened. He came over and I told him I loved him and he was breaking my heart he seemed remorseful. I’m so depressed I don’t care about anything anymore. I’ve been in love 3 times and I’m 34 the other 2 guys died one was robbed and killed the other had a boating accident plus my father had just passed away right before I met this guy online. He knows how bad I’ve been hurt. Why would he do this? I’ve done nothing but love and respect him, I never nagged him and we never argued. I think he is using me now and what I said to him Saturday went in one ear and out the other because he has ignored me since. I’m not bragging but he knows I have guys begging to take me out he has seen and heard it for himself. I don’t know if I’ll get over this my heart can’t take anymore hurt. So if you were me (anyones advice is welcomed) what would you do? Should I start Ignore him and pray he comes around or forget about him (I don’t know how I can with the way i feel about him so please give me some advice on how to do that too). I’m embarrassed to say but I’m a professional counselor myself and I don’t know what to do!! I feel hopeless I don’t have any children and that is the one thing I’ve always wanted but I found out last year it wouldn’t be possible because of a blood clotting disorder I have. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve always been a strong person but I don’t know if i can take much more I feel like I’ve lost everything thats meant anything to me (except my mom). I’m just gonna keep praying for God to give me the strength. Please give me advice I know most people would say forget about him but please understand I don’t fall in love easy and I’m head her heels in love with him I don’t wa t to live without him. He brought back happiness in my life I thought I would never have again. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and please I’m begging for advice!!

@Sarita
I’m truly hoping I misunderstood your post because it sounded like you are saying you are glad your ex died of Cancer – because he broke up with you,
I can’t possibly be reading that right, can I?

@sarita..how is this post connected to what sarah or amy have posted? we all have to die someday. some earlier then others.. so now u happy and don’t mind that he dumped u when you were a teenager simply bec he died at 42? wow that’s great logic not.

Sarah unfortunately there is not much u can do.. u will have to find your own closure within you and forget abt him. that would be ideal if u can just walk away and not look bac. or u can just vent out at him and delete his no after that never to connect with him again. but the latter wont really help.

amy. sorry to hear what you going thru. but your putting lot of pressure on one person. you come across as needy and clingy. even if he feels something for you, this added pressure is bound to scare him off. no1 wants to be wholly responsible for another person’s happiness and welfare. your depending on a man for your own inner happiness and feeling for security. I think you really need to heal from your past tragedies before you get involved again. You cant depend on another person for your feeling of well being. let him be. focus on urself. heal. come to terms with what happened in your past.

Seeing a guy for more than 8 months?

I hope you’re also seeing other guys at the same time…

@Sun

I met his family and friends so stupid of me to assume we were BF/GF. We did have a discussion that we each were not sleeping with anyone else. He probably doesn’t owe me anything but a reason for disappearing would be nice.

Melissa,

Sounds to me like he might have been seeing someone else as well as you during the 8 months. He did not want to have to explain himself so he just ghosted on you. Very cowardly way of dealing with things but some men are just too afraid to get into how upset you are going to be.

Had this happen to me as well. Met someone online, he was a little distance away. Daily texts and phone calls continued up until the 5 month mark. At that time the texts were intermittent until they halted all together. Tried to call and text to no avail.

I stopped contact all together. Went back online to the dating site where we met and discovered his profile is still active and he has been logging in regularly over a period of 5 days. I hid my profile just after I started dating him.

Cannot say for sure this is what happened to you. But it is very, very odd that after that length of time he has gone completely MIA with no explanations. Do you know any of his friends or family members? If you met him online, is his profile still showing activity?

I empathize with what you are going through. In my case, he did come around to text me suddenly after almost two months. At that point I no longer cared and ignored his contact attempts.

You’re sure he’s not lying in a ditch somewhere?

@Sun
I agree. I don’t want to be cynical about relationships but I do believe that being strong enough to walk away when you need to sets you up for a better experience. My life doesn’t revolve around having a man and if i dont have someone I can rely on to be in it 100% then I’d rather be ony own. It drives me crazy when I see women (and men) settling for sub standard treatment just for the sake of being in a relationship.
Ghosting is never good but it is just as strong a message to you as someone physically saying “I don’t want to be with you” so you need to accept it and move on. Not everyone finds it so easy but it really is the only thing to do