Sex and dating multiple men until a commitment is made

Z –

After my divorce, I dated and had sex with more than one man at a time. I didn’t tell them about each other because I wasn’t in a committed relationship with them. Men do this all the time and they don’t worry about it. I think it is fine in the earlier stages BUT you HAVE to use protection. If one asks, you should be honest.

Personally if I did it again, I wouldn’t have sex until I had a commitment. It makes everything so much simpler.

I find this so wrong…im a men never cheated and never dated more then one girl at a time….and don’t enjoy one night stands…if you going to date someone on any level then don’t see or have sex with other people its not right to the other person feelings and how can you build a deeper relationship with someone when your busy talking and having sex with someone else…and why would someone wish to commit to someone that’s sleeping around….its all very sluty and very common for woman to sleep around these days …. more so then men and woman ask where the good guys are and why men will not commit to them…..then stop sleeping around….close your legs and get to know someone and act like the girl that can be trusted and maybe you may keep a bloke.

I agree canaan but the man has to make his intentions very clear in the beginning because too many men are “time wasters”, just enjoying the company of women without having any intention of taking it further. I absolutely believe there should be no sleeping around, just meeting men to see if you both ignite the spark and want to see where it goes, but in the interim if he’s not progressing and there’s no clear signals as to what he wants then I finds it best to also focus on others until BOTH parties agree to date exclusively. Too many men are looking for companionship today, not a GF—if the man isn’t going to invest then a woman shouldn’t be indulging them.

This is how I met my husband. I was hanging out with many different guys (no sex or make out sessions) at the gym, club, BBQ, softball, playing pool/darts…very low key casual settings where we talked and got know each other. I knew all them wanted something with me, but I wasn’t going to settle just because a guy was interested. After a few months one guy grew on me more so than the others and I CHOSE HIM and were married 2.5 years later because I want to make sure he was the one I wanted to take that life journey with.

Unless there are active plans to move closer to each other (ei. new job, family, etc) I don’t see the benefit of dating men that are so far away. These don’t seem like viable relationships. Maybe it’s just a personal opinion but I don’t believe in LDR. I would only do this if the person was leaving for a short period of time AND we already had a solid in-person relationship.

How long have you been dating all these men?

I don’t personally believe in sleeping with more than one man at a time. I think it’s fair, and even advisable, to entertain different prospects at the beginning of dating–see who you might be relationship material and who’s not quite a fit. About two months ago when I gave dating another go I was talking to 5 men, I met with 2 and am now just dating 1 (and he is the only one I’ve been intimate with).

I think by choosing men that are so far YOU’RE setting up the dynamic for them to be sexual relationships.

If you’ve been “dating” these men for a long time I think you need to sh!t or get off the pot. And if it hasn’t been long, what’s the rush to jump into bed? Get to know them outside of the bedroom.

Why would you have sex with any of them?

Doing so is being promiscuous.

Sensy … Who made you judge of what is promiscuous…?

It all depends on why a person is having sex. I have sex when I want sex – but I have learned from men to keep sex compartmentalized.

Sex can be a purely physical act of release, pleasure and warmth. It can also be the ultimate expression of two souls joining in the act of making love with their bodies. It can also be many things in-between.

Many young women confuse sex with love. If they have sex with someone they think the other person feels some kind of emotional bond….I know they don’t have to. For men emotional bonding is separate from sex.

That is why the young women get all upset when they gave sex and did not get love in return. Fully understanding this would save a lot of heartache.

I know what you mean everything on this website seems to encourage the constant dating of multiple guys at once but it’s so time consuming! I’m trying to do that but I also want time for my friends and for myself! Also people’s feelings get hurt and that is such an uncomfortable feeling for me. I’m trying to give it a try because I do think in the past I have mentally committed too early before knowing if the guy is even looking for a relationship but it’s no walk in the park! At the moment I feel like I’m spending half my life either on dates or getting ready for dates! And it’s making no difference, I’m not head over heels for any of these guys and still find myself pining for the guy that did not treat me that well! But that’s probably something I should work on! I say keep trying this method and see what happens, but try not to sleep with anyone you don’t have a commitment with and that should probably simplify things a little bit more. Good luck!

So what’s the point in meeting a guy so far away if u won’t be able to move?

@ Raven, promiscuity is defined as follows: in human sexual behavior, the practice of having casual sex frequently with different partners.
If one does this, the person is considered promiscuous.

Hi Zsuzsi,

Lets see if I got this right…you want to date vegans, you want them to move and you usually scare men away…hmmmm.

I think these things highly restrict your dating pool – don’t you?

What do you mean you scare men away? How?

As for holding men off from sex I think that is very easy. You tell a man that you only have sex in committed relationships (or whatever your boundary is) upfront and that is that. If he is interested he will stick around – believe me.