Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Shall I unmatch this guy? Is he just not interested?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 10 months ago by
T from NY.
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Illiana
So I matched with a guy on bumble a few weeks ago. We started talking and I really like him and find him interesting. However, he always takes around 48 hours to respond to my messages. He sends really long paragraphs with loads of questions and he even suggested meeting up soon. I can’t help but think he’s not interested.
I hate waiting 48 hours. Is he probably talking to other girls although I can see he’s only on the app around two times a day. Should I unmatch him?
Annabel
My ex did this to me at the start, and whenever I asked him to mail me more? He told me I was crazy and told all his friends I was needy.
Either keep with it and accept his texting style is poor. This is the good days too. Or find someone who will give you better communication in a timely manner.
If I was you? I wouldn’t do it all over again. Anyone who takes 2 days to return a mail? Is low level investment with others on the go. I couldn’t personally do it
Raven
Why would you keep him?
Honeypie
How do you know when he’s been on the app? It doesn’t have a feature that enables you to see?
Also not everyone is wanting to keep coms speedy as you can get into a precedent being set. I’m hoping you aren’t responding quickly when his message pings up and you are mirroring him
Newbie
Im pretty sure you asked the same question a while before so i dont understand what more advice you need. This guy is only being a penpal and not even a consistent one. Yes he is not interested. The fact youre still interested shows you are not really ‘dating proof’ since you need a way higher bar for weeding out weirdo’s and time waisters
Lynn
You’re already too hung up on him. This is simple. Guys off dating apps who are really interested in meeting you ask for a date within no more than two weeks of when you begin talking. If they don’t do that, they aren’t interested in you or they aren’t for real. Don’t waste your time chatting with someone who’s not asking you out.
T from NY
There are so many time wasters on line. I don’t give a flip what they look like, how charming or communicative they are (though it sounds like he is not), how kind or successful – ANYTHING – if they aren’t asking me out, or at least inquiring regarding my schedule, within 2-7 days – I’m out.
The biggest indicator of a man’s interest (interest in YOU anddddd if their possible interest in a relationship) is the TIME they give to you in person, not texting or long emails. Although I will say I’ve had a lot of men tell me they are sometimes unsure how quickly to approach meeting in real life because some women ask them to text for awhile. That’s obnoxious to me and defeats the point. Always meet in public place and you’re no safer by chatting for weeks.
If it was me, and you are interested in him, I would just say “I’ve enjoyed the information you’ve sent me. But I’m more of a get to know someone in person girl! So if we ever meet we’d have a lot to talk about!” If he doesn’t ask you out then – he was never interested in something real in the first place.
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