Should I be upset?

Lane,

I said I wasn’t going to reply anymore but your advice to spot on. I don’t think people realize it doesn’t bother me, I was getting anxious about it the first day not sure why… but yes you are right.

He doesn’t really have to reply to me anyways… he’s in the police academy and I read a lot of wives/girlfriends get ignored a lot since they are busy blah blah. We’ve spent the last 4 weekends together Saturday and Sunday All Day! So I understand him wanting to take this weekend to himself.

Sisi, it’s been one day now yes. I don’t necessarily feel like he is treating me any less of his girlfriend..

Sisi this question was about texting and feeling anxious not a bunch of ladies asking for the relationship barometer. The mayority here seems to think all relationships are a dime in a dozen but thats just not true. Not everybody is the same or want the same in different times of their lives. If Tiffany had asked about her status you could call it she was brushing you off. But she didnt ask. Youre pissed because she dismiised your advice she didnt ask for. And now youre still on here advocating your unwanted opinion.
The truth is you dont know. Tiffany is happy with how it is going, understanding where both of them stand but can work on their communication in the future. Whats wrong with that? You think you should suddenly call it quits because you dont think its normal?
Its the same on your own threat. You ask how to deal with your ex children and you get the advice the relationship is probably doomed anyway. Did you like that? Im glad lane answered because she made perfect sense to me too. Sometimes ladies here seem to think that the advice is more important than the question. I disagree. I would say that it probably doesnt even help in current relationships but maybe in future ones

Newbie!

Very well said thank you! What works for me may not work for everybody else! I honestly really don’t like good morning and good night texts feel so routine… while other people like that kind of stuff.

Yes we can work better on our communication of course. Relationships you always have to work for. But again he needs to destress. He even told me it was a terrible week for him (and knowing him) when he has a bad week he just pulls back and does things for himself! Nothing wrong with it. He will text me when he can :)

not too sure what to make of this thread…tiffany you know best whether the guy is interested in you or not. and you know best whether no responses to your texts are alright too. and if you think this is ok then this certainly is ok…:-) but just ensure that the bf doesn’t start taking you for granted that’s all..

Hi Sue!

Yes he eventually texted me back. His schedule at the academy changed from 7pm-4am he told me. So he has been getting 3/4 hours of sleep for the past week. And towards the end of the conversation because he was going into work today he said “I’ll text you later if I can, maybe hang out this weekend, not too sure of my schedule yet” which is understandable. :) it was good to hear from him, and that he does want to hang out. I’m pretty sure at the very least we will get lunch. The academy gets hard next week for him. So fingers crossed!!

Tiffany, I haven’t followed the whole thread, but just wanted to say – one thing that is also valued in relationships is patience.

I really liked Newbie’s advice.

Trust in him and in you as a couple… as long as you don’t have any proof against it. why not? trust it until he proves you wrong. maybe he won’t. it happens very often that men have to just learn how to be in relationships.

OP – you are in love with this man, so you try to be that “perfect girlfriend” to win him over, so perfect to the extend that you put yourself after his family, his job, his friends, his FB, his xbox… To be honest, these should all come after you….

Busy is not enough reason to not respond for 4 days… Would you not respond to him for 4 days? You won’t, because you care about him too much to leave him hanging, you also love him too much to piss him off….. But did he feel the same??

You can be supporting, be understanding, and all that… Someday he will run into a girl, who will call him out for bad behavior, and who will walk if he DARE to treat her any less…. And guess what, all of a sudden, he will find her so attractive and find you so boring… That is just how attraction works….

I’m sorry but if you think he should be putting me before his studies and family you’re wrong! I don’t put him before my family or my studies at all!! Why in the world would anybody do that?? Makes no sense to me.

And if you read the whole thread sisi you would see I actually broke up with him and he wanted to get back together. It doesn’t even bother me a little bit at this point. I’m fine with it, it’s not like I’m checking my phone to see his text NO! We both have a life outside of each other… I myself would not wait 4 days! Like I’ve said before he is a bad texter even with his friends! I don’t feel like a low priority at all. I feel like I’m in a relationship with somebody who trusts me enough that he doesn’t have to do the “check ins” with me

OP – while relationships come in all shapes and forms, my view are bounded by my own experiences for sure…

I have a very busy BF whose work hourly rate is $895 per hour, so he is busy…But I never have to wait more than 4-5 hours to hear back, most of the time it is within 30 minutes.

Not that I am needy, but he won’t leave me hanging. Also he enjoys communicating with me so much that he will find time for it..He is also probably worried that he does not treat me as a top priority, other men will…

And I do the same for him, never leave him hanging for long… This is called mutual…

But again, if he has time for xbox but no time to confirm weekend plan, and you are cool with that… Then you are cool with that….and that is that… Lol

But to add something constructive. Tiffany its really easy to tell your guy you like him to do something. Just tell him

So he gone on 2 weekends without seeing you and without advance communication either, did I get the fact correct or not?

What I was getting at is extremely straight forward: I wont tolerate a man to treat me like that, but if you are OK, then that is fine…The problem is not cant see each other for 2-3 weeks, I have that in my relationship too… The problem is no communication about it