Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I break up with him?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
Kash.
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Kells
Hello everyone,
So every time I talk to my partner about women and men issues. Heads the most bizarre things.
He says things like sometimes a woman should be blamed for what happens to her if she wears something exposing and she should protect herself by dressing appropriately.
And how women shouldn’t be allowed to have abortions and they should follow the rules blah blah.
Also said he won’t really completely blame a Pastors who cheats because of how hard their jobs are and how much they interact with women listening to their problems blah blah.He would also say how black people are too ghetto and act in ways that are embarrassing, break laws and always going to jail. Even said how George Floyd was a criminal before he died so he doesn’t get why there was the BLM movement cause also white people experience hate crime too from the police (mind you he is black, we are both black)
He basically says a lot , I can’t even start talking about everything he says, but he basically goes against all feminist stuff and say women who talk and believe in feminism are wrong blah blah. He also obviously sees a lot of black people as the lesser race.
And then every time I gave my own opinion, he would tell me that I don’t understand and can’t understand. It’s just so weird.
I don’t know what to do now. Break up?
I try to get him to see a different perspective from a woman’s POV but he just says I want to blame men for everything blah blah.Jenna
I don’t think we can tell you yes or no. But he doesn’t sound like a compassionate man, and does not sound like he’ll have your best interests in mind.
How long have you been dating him?
Maddie
Break up. Why wouldn’t you? He doesn’t respect women and has self-hating identity issues if there’s no trolling going on here. Plus, if you ever got pregnant with him, you’re completely stuck with someone who will teach your kids to believe the same things, and who will potentially cheat (you think this attitude is limited to permissiveness for only pastors?) while trying to control and manipulate you. It won’t get better, listen to people the first time when they tell you who they are. You don’t need to want to blame men for everything, only him specifically for being a misogynist among other things. Don’t stay with someone who has values way off from your own.
Raven
This can’t be real…
Why did you couple with him in the first place?Liz Lemon
Yeah, what Maddie said. If a friend of yours came to you and told you what you just wrote about your boyfriend, and asked if she should break up with him, wouldn’t you tell her yes?
I agree that he lacks compassion (what if, God forbid, something happened to you and you were attacked– he would blame you and say you deserved it?!). He thinks it’s OK for a pastor (a man of God, no less?!) to cheat? Don’t you see how awful he is?
You’re not going to get him to see a different perspective, so you’re wasting your time and energy doing that. He is not open to new opinions or trying to learn other perspectives. For someone to see a different perspective, they have to be open to it.
AngieBaby
He’s narrow-minded, closed-minded, misogynistic and strangely racist for a black person. Doesn’t listen to you or respect your points of view, in fact, dismisses you and puts you down. Flip your question – why would you stay with someone like this, what possible reasons could you have that would override being around someone this intolerant, judgmental and rude?? Just tell him you don’t see this progressing as you don’t have enough in common. He isn’t going to change and frankly I don’t know how you haven’t walked away from him already.
alexjohnson
Thanks for sharing your post! It’s always great to hear different perspectives and experiences. Keep the conversations going and the insights flowing!
Kash
I don’t usually comment but strangely most men i meet have similar outlook. They might not be as direct as yours is but you can get to know that if you have such discussions with them or if you observe their general behaviour. So maybe that is why this post came up. I don’t think it’s a troll. It’s very difficult to find woke men where i come from. Asian country. So we women have difficulty in finding such men maybe
Kash
But the novels we’ve romanticised talk differently ofcourse lol
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